


Everybody's Talkin' Bout That New Sound

by From_Dusk_to_Dawn, Marzos



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, band au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 03:10:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 72,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5274320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/From_Dusk_to_Dawn/pseuds/From_Dusk_to_Dawn, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marzos/pseuds/Marzos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ell thought she'd never forgive her former best friend Laura for dating her ex Carmilla.  Ell thought she'd never forgive her ex Carmilla for taking her best friend from her.  Ell thought she'd never get the courage to speak to the cute redheaded drummer she sees around school sometimes.</p>
<p>She hadn't counted on being pulled into a Battle of the Bands competition with all three of them.</p>
<p>HIJINX ENSUE</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ell supposed other people would have looked at her for the past few weeks and called her lonely. She didn’t blame them. On the face of it, Ell spending her lunch periods every day alone in the band room was a bit...solitary.

She didn’t mind, though. Really. Ell loved playing piano--and it wasn’t like she didn’t have any friends. Ell just didn’t want to eat lunch with them. For the best, really. All she would have done was make things awkward. Or she would have had to force them to take sides. Ell _hated_ to make her friends take sides.

It was a particularly difficult piece. Liszt’s _Rondo Fantastique_ , considered one of the most difficult pieces to play. Ell had been spending the last week working on it, however, and she thought she was starting to get it. It required complete concentration, but she thought she’d actually finish for the first time without any glaring errors--

_Knock-knock_

“Dear Lord!” Ell groaned, getting startled and letting her hands trip up. So much for that. “...Come in. Heh. This room is open to everyone, you know. You don’t need to--”

The door opened, and Ell’s warm smile disappeared. Her mouth flattened to a tight lipped line, expression blank.

“Um, Ell. Hey.”

“Laura.”

She stood in the doorway, biting her lip. Ell folded her hands in her lap, waiting for her friend--well, former friend--to say something. But it seemed to be a staredown.

“...Is there some reason you want to talk to me?”

“Right! Yeah. Yeah. Um...first of all, we all miss you at the lunch table. Perry said she told you I didn’t mind.”

Laura smiled nervously. Ell repressed an eyeroll.

“I believe you, Laura. But I mind.”

“Oh…” Laura frowned, swallowed, and toyed with the collar of the school uniform shirt. “That’s, uh, kind of not why I wanted to talk to you, though. Exactly.”

Creases appeared in Ell’s brow as Laura walked closer. “What’s wrong, then?”

“Okay, Ell, I don’t really know how to say this--”

“Then just say it…?”

“Carmilla’s mom kicked her out!” Laura squeaked, closing her eyes. When she opened one, she saw that Ell’s mouth had fallen open.

“Kicked...she kicked her _out_? Why?”

“She didn’t take Carm coming out too well, you know? It all kind of came to a head. She’s been on the street since last week.”

There was a pregnant pause as Laura and Ell stared at each other. Ell had to look away.

“Oh my God, that’s...she’s homeless. That is awful. Where is she staying?”

“I don’t know. She won’t tell me--I keep telling Carmilla to stay with me, but you know her. She’s super stubborn and she hates to admit she needs help.”

“That is...that is definitely true. But, Laura, I couldn’t let Carmilla stay with me even if I wanted to. Papa would have a fit if I suggested it.”

And if she wouldn’t stay with Laura, there was no way she’d stay with Ell.

Laura reached into the pocket of her skirt, pulling out a small square of paper. “That’s not what I was thinking. Here.”

It was folded; Ell took it from Laura’s hand, unfolding it and reading the paper. In big red lettering, it said:

**SILAS BATTLE OF THE BANDS!**

**$$ 20,000 cash prize $$**

**MAY THE BEST BAND ROCK!**

“We need someone to play keyboard,” Laura said. For a moment Ell still stared at the paper; then she shook her hand, holding it back out to her.

“Laura, I can’t do this. I’m a classical pianist. Unless you’re planning on doing Beethoven, I can’t lend very much help.”

“There’s no difference!” Laura insisted, not taking the paper back, “It’s just hitting the right notes, that’s all. Why does it matter? You could be like that kid from School of Rock!”

“I mean--Laura--I am not the rock band type. Why do you need me? You can’t ask anyone else? Literally _anyone_ else?” Ell wrung her hands.

Laura clasped her hands together. “I’m asking you because Carm _needs_ this money, Ell. And we need the best band we can get. You’re the most talented piano player I know, Ell. Maybe even the best piano player in the state.”

“But--”

“ _Please_. Ell--Carmilla is _homeless_.”

She gave Ell a pointed look, and a knife felt like it was being twisted in the girl’s gut. “This isn’t fair.”

“I’m not trying to be fair. I’m trying to get my girlfriend off the street.” Laura said firmly.

Ell closed her eyes. She had her. Ell _had_ to say yes. “...Fine. I’ll play in your band--”

She was taken aback by Laura’s hug; her hands went up and she stood rigid as a board as Laura pressed her cheek against Ell’s.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“I really don’t have much choice. When is the first practice so we can get this all over with?”

“Oh...right…” Laura pulled back. “About that…we need another member.”

“Another?” Ell read the paper again. At the bottom in small print it read:

_Bands must be teams of at least 4._

“I was hoping you knew anyone?” Laura asked.

“Um...Perry?”

“Ell, she plays violin.”

“Then...um...well, I’m not sure. Was there an instrument you had in mind?” Laura nodded.

“Yeah. There’s me playing bass, Carmilla on guitar and vocals, you on piano...which means I guess we need a drummer? I don’t suppose you know one…”

Ell’s eyes flitted away from Laura. “No. No drummer.” Laura tilted her head.

“What was that look…?”

“What look?”

“That look like you’re _totally_ lying.”

She hunched her shoulders, turning away from Laura. “I am not.”

Laura started to smile. “You _are_. You totally _are_. Who’s the girl?”

“What?” Ell exclaimed, looking back at her. “Who said anything about a girl?”

“Ell, we’ve been friends since we were kids. I know how you act when you like somebody, you did the exact same thing when you met Carm--” Laura stopped. Ell pressed her lips together.

“Well. Well, this is not the same thing.” Ell said, as Laura looked at the floor. “I’ll admit I might know _of_ someone. But I don’t know her personally.”

“Is she good?”

Ell shrugged. “I’m no expert on drumming, but she sounds very good.”

“Cool! What grade is she in?”

“...I do not know.” Ell answered.

“What’s her name?” Laura asked.

“I also don’t know.”

“What does she look like?”

“Um...well, she’s tall,” Ell started counting off on her fingers, “And bronzed, like she spends a lot of time outside. She definitely plays sports, because _wow_ her arms are like, _really_ toned. I guarantee you she has abs--”

Laura raised an eyebrow, and Ell paused to say, “Look, you’d have to be blind not to notice she’s _attractive_. She also has flowing red hair. Which she’s been wearing in a braid a lot lately and it’s been kind of disappointing…”

“You know all of this, but you never caught a name?”

“I always just see her when she walks out. What do you expect me to do? _Talk_ to her?”

“Uh...kinda. Yeah,” Laura said, “And hey, you can use this as an icebreaker, right?”

Ell’s eyes widened, and she rubbed her hands together. “Oh my, Laura, I don’t know...she is so,” she gestured vaguely, “And I am so…” She did it again, “You know? Carmilla was one of those ‘the planets aligned perfectly’ kind of things.”

Laura crossed her arms. “I mean, it’s not like you’re asking her out, you’re just asking her to be in a band? I could--”

“NO. I am doing it!” Ell exclaimed. Laura held up her hands.

“Alright, geez...um. Thank you.”

She was dating Carmilla, sure, but Ell was not about to let Laura anywhere near cute drummer girl. Not before she talked to her, at least.

Oh God, she needed to talk to her.

How was Ell going to talk to her?

“I think I’m going to keep practicing, so...see you later. I’ll talk to her as soon as I can.”

“Cool. Have a good day, I guess?”

Laura walked back out, dragging her feet. Ell just agreed to talk to a woman she barely knew to try and convince to join a band, where Ell was forced to play with her ex-girlfriend, and her ex-best friend who were now dating each other.

She groaned, letting her head fall, making a rather unpleasant sound on the piano that matched her mood _quite_ well.

  
*

  
Operation ‘talk to the cute drummer girl’ was proving to be more difficult than Ell had anticipated.

Okay, so Ell had study hall, and then lunch. Drummer girl was always either gone or walking past Ell by the time she got out; she was always in a hurry. Ell would _hate_ to make her late for class. Which was the only reason why she didn’t just talk to her when she walked past.

So, day one: Ell left study hall early to ‘use the restroom’. Walked over to the band room. Heard drummer girl playing before she saw her; there was a small window. Ell peeked through and she could see her expertly pounding away.

“Just say hi. ‘Hi, I’m Ell and I’d like you to join my ex-girlfriend’s band’...oh dear Lord--”

The bell rang; drummer girl was out of the room and passed Ell without so much as a word.

Day two: Ell decided she would get there _right before_ the bell rang, and let momentum help.

Except she cut it a little close, and instead of momentum meaning she could talk to her, momentum meant she ended up knocking into her shoulder as the girl walked out of the room.

“Sorry!” She exclaimed, then disappeared around the corner, obviously in a hurry.

Her voice. Ell just hear the girl’s voice. Directed at _her_. That was progress, right? That was totally progress.

Laura tentatively asked her on the third morning, “So, um, about that drummer--”

“ _Working on it_ ,” Ell snapped, slamming her locker shut.

Laura knew not to push the issue, thankfully.

Ell took a deep breath, leaning against the wall, listening to the strained sounds of drumming from the room. She was so, _so_ good. Ell had never cared about drumming very much either way, before. But now? Now she was very much a fan.

Or maybe it was more the girl drumming...or both. Definitely both.

The drumming stopped.

Ell looked toward the door. Did she leave? She never just _stopped_ like that. Ell couldn’t have missed her--it was hard to miss a tall girl with red hair walking right past her.

There was a door on the other side, but the girl never used that door.

Curious, Ell inched up to the door and peeked into the window.

The drum kit was there, the stuff she always had for her next class was there, but she--

“Excuse me?”

Ell spun around, back against the door.

She was looking at her.

She. Was. Looking. At. _Her_.

And Ell froze. She looked even better up close--every little imperfection a closer inspection should have revealed was, well, nonexistent.

“Um...uh…”

The girl raised an eyebrow. She didn’t look annoyed, just confused. “I can help you out.” She pointed to herself. “Danny Lawrence. You?”

“No, I’m not Danny Lawrence,” Ell blurted out, then covered her mouth.

Really, Ell? _Really_?

The girl tilted her head, trying to figure out if Ell was being smart or not. When she took in her blushing red cheeks, she smiled. “No. I mean _I’m_ Danny Lawrence. And up until now you’ve been the girl that might have been stopping by the band room every day while I practiced. I’d like to give my stalker a name.”

“I--I--I swear I am not a stalker! Honestly! It’s just, you, um...you...play good?”

A smile spread across Danny’s face. “Hey, thanks. You play piano, right? Because sometimes I hear you start before I’m out of earshot. You’re not so bad yourself.”

Ell’s stomach twitched as she took in what Danny was saying. “You listen to me play too?”

“So you _admit_ stalking me?”

“No! I did _not_ \--”

“Dude, _relax_ ,” Danny said, laughing, “I was just messing with you. I’m flattered. Besides, if you were a stalker you would have learned my name by now.”

“Oh...oh, good.”

“Do you want me to give you some room? Sorry.”

Danny backed up. Ell sucked in a breath, not realizing she hadn’t been breathing this whole time.

“Um, thank you.”

“No problem. So, you think I ‘play good’?”

“Well, it’s actually play _well_...but yes.”

Danny laughed. “Hey, my best subject is english. You’re good. Want to watch?”

“W-Watch?”

“Me. Drum. We still got most of the period, and I like having an audience.”

Her. Drum. Up close. Ell didn’t trust herself to speak so she only nodded.

“Cool. Um. You going to walk in…?”

“Ell. My name is Ell.”

“Awesome.” She put her hands in the pockets of her uniform slacks. She didn’t wear the skirt; for some reason Ell thought that was really cool. It suited Danny. She stepped out of the way, following Danny into the band room, standing by the doorway.

“Why are you over there?” Danny grinned, twirling her sticks in hand as she sat down at the drum kit. “I told you, I love having an audience. Seriously, I don’t mind.”

Ell inched a little closer.

“What, Ell, you think I’m contagious?”

Ell dared to grab a chair and sit in front of her. Danny nodded in approval.

“Alright, one two--actually, wait.” Danny held her sticks in one hand, reaching down to grab the bottom of her uniform polo. She pulled it over her head.

Ell’s jaw dropped and she felt like she was going to faint.

Wait--Danny was wearing a tank top underneath.

“Sorry, just get kind of sweaty when I get going. You won’t tell anyone, right?”

It was a very thin tank top. Ell could tell Danny was wearing a black bra. She swallowed. “Your secret is safe with me?”

“Cool.” Danny grinned, taking the sticks and hitting them together. “And one-two-three-four!”

Ell had to lean back a little from the sheer force of her drumming. Danny bit her lip, hair falling in her face as she bobbed her head to the beat.

She didn’t know how long Danny played before she looked at Ell and asked, “Hey, you want to play with me?”

“ _With_ you? Like...I only do classical.”

“Improv. That’s what I’ve been doing! Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“You mean that was off the _top of your head_?”

Danny paused for a moment to smile at Ell before shrugging. “Yeah, well, you know. I practice. Plus, it wasn’t that great, the groove was a little choppy--”

“I certainly didn’t notice.”

She smirked. “So, you going to play for me then?”

“Oh. Well.” Ell stood up. “I...guess I could--”

There was the sound of a phone ringing and Danny looked down at her pocket, reaching in to pull out a phone. “Well, shit. I have to take this. Can I have a raincheck, Ell?”

“Raincheck. Uh, yeah. Raincheck would be great.”

“Awesome, dude. I’ll see you.” Danny shrugged her shirt on and walked out. “And hey, nice meeting you!”

“Yeah…” Ell smiled. She did it. She had a conversation with her, even learned her name. Danny. And Danny seemed to like her and--

Wait.

Wasn’t she supposed to be asking her to join the band?

“Oh in the name of everything holy, can I not do _anything_ right--”

Except Danny said ‘raincheck’. As in, she wanted to see Ell. Again.

Ell went back to smiling.

 

*

  
“Are you _serious_ , Ell?”

“What?”

Laura huffed, leaning against the locker next to Ell’s. “You give me that entire story to end with you _not_ asking her to join the band.”

“Excuse me for being happy an extremely attractive drummer actually wanted to spend more time with me, okay? And for not _jumping_ at the chance to help Carmilla.”

“You promised--”

“I know what I promised,” Ell answered, letting some of her annoyance shine through.

“...So why did you tell me, then, if she didn’t join the band?”

Ell frowned. “I don’t...I’m used to it.”

Laura gave a little half smile. “I totally could have helped you, you know. I would have been like,” Laura put her hands on her hips, “ _Haaaave_ you met Ell?”

Ell scoffed. “Yeah, because you are totally Barney Stinson.”

“It worked with--” Laura stopped. “...Yeah.”

Ell glared at Laura and closed her locker. “I will talk to her, okay? Just...goodbye.”

Laura watched Ell walk away sadly. This would all be so much easier if Laura were angry at Ell too. Why was she not angry? Ell was angry at _herself_ , Carmilla was angry at her, so Laura should be, best friends or not.

Who cared though, right? Ell was seeing Danny again today. Unless Danny was only being polite...but she totally wasn’t.

Unless she _was_.

_What if she was_.

_SHE TOTALLY WAS ELL WAS SUCH AN IDIOT._

“Ell!” JP waved at her jauntily when she walked into homeroom. It was hard to miss him. JP was the only kid in school that wore a bowtie. It was technically against dress code, but he was so polite teachers didn’t care. “How are you faring this morning--”

She sat next to JP, burying her head in her arms and moaning.

“...Might I inquire why you seem to be upset?”

Ell told him about Danny. When she was finished, JP tilted his head curiously.

“I am rather confused. You are saying she doesn’t want to see you again by...saying she will see you again?”

“Well--I mean--it’s not as simple as that, JP.”

“Why?”

“Because--because--well, she’s probably straight, for starters.”

JP nodded. “But surely it would not hurt to ask?”

“What am I supposed to do? Walk up to Danny and say ‘are you gay?’ Even I’m not that awkward.”

“I find your personality to be quite pleasant, Ell,” JP answered. Ell smiled and gave him a friendly pat on the arm.

“...Thanks, Jeep,” she said.  
“So, promise me you will not be too worried?”

Ell mumbled a promise back. But it was hard _not_ to worry.

 

*

 

Ell marched up to the music room the next day with a confidence she did not totally feel. She was going to ask Danny to join the band today. And maybe get clarification on her sexuality. Maybe. Ell just needed to girl the hell up and ask.

Ell internally winced. She could still hear Laura’s voice in her head when she thought the phrase “girl the hell up.” Only now it was an unwelcome reminder. She shook her head slightly, trying to clear it of other thoughts.

Danny was already there when Ell arrived, her back turned to Ell as she fiddled with something on her drums that Ell couldn’t see.

Ell hesitated in the doorway. Danny had said she could come in any time, but she still did not want to be rude. So she knocked.

Danny’s head whipped around at the sound, a large grin spreading over her face.

“Hey! You made it!”

“Ah yes. You’d said raincheck so I thought mayb--”

Ell cut off to stare at Danny’s shirt. Well. Really a lacrosse pinnie which, side note: was she trying to send Ell to an early grave? If so, it was working. And so were those arms. Really, everything about Danny seemed to work for Ell. But the pinnie had in big letters across it, “HELLA GAY.” If that wasn’t a flashing sign from the heavens, then Ell didn’t know what was.

“Ell? Are you okay?”

Ell cut off her staring to see Danny’s worried expression, her brow creasing in concern.

A smile spread across Ell’s face. Two birds with one stone, that was the expression, right?

“Danny, how do you feel about helping homeless gay youth?”

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

The reaction was even better than Ell had expected--an enthusiastic ‘yes’.

“Of course, I’m all for activism,” Danny had answered, “what did you have in mind?”

Really, Danny couldn’t have been more awesome if she had tried. It was easy to get her to agree to join the band after that.

“So she said yes?” Laura asked, fiddling with her bass while they waited in Laura’s garage.

“Yeah. She did. She was really excited about it, actually. Apparently she’s queer and when I told her that Carmilla was homeless because she came out she said she’d love to help.”

Laura looked up from her bass with a smirk. “She’s queer too, huh? She’s queer _and_ from what you’ve said, she sounds cute.”

“Shut up.”

Laura raised her hands defensively.  

“I’m just saying.  She sounds sweet, she’s queer, she’s cute.  What more could you ask for?”

Ell flushed.  She sometimes hated how easily Laura could read her.  But of course, even after they drifted apart, there were some things about a decade of friendship that couldn’t be erased.

“Well maybe I’m just not ready for a relationship again.  Since the last one ended so badly.”  She gave Laura a pointed look and Laura had the sense to look marginally ashamed.

Honestly, Ell had been more hurt by the way the whole thing had gone down than anything else.  She wasn’t still pining; she was just uncomfortable.  If not totally ready for another long-term relationship, she was at least ready to date again.  

But Laura was the last person in the world she wanted to talk about dating with.  So if throwing slightly pointed statements back at her would get Laura to stop talking, then so be it.  If Laura knew Ell, then Ell also knew Laura.  It was a two way street.  And Ell knew how to get Laura to stop asking questions.

She sighed internally.  Laura wasn’t wrong about Danny.  Danny was gorgeous.  And talented.  And sweet.  Ell liked her.  But Danny was also wildly out of Ell’s league.  And Ell knew firsthand what dating a girl out of her league was like.  It ended badly.  If Ell had been reaching in her last relationship, then trying to date Danny?  Even more of a stretch.  And not just because Danny was tall.

“...Where is Carmilla?” Ell finally asked, “She’s late to her own rehearsal.”

Laura bit her lip. “I don’t know. I called her. She said she was on her way...I really hope nothing happened. She still won’t tell me where she’s been living.”

“Why can’t she stay with Mattie?   The two of them were really close when Carmilla was taking lessons from her.” Ell asked. Laura looked at her.

“I told her to. But...Mattie’s on tour.  Can’t exactly take Carmilla with her before Carm graduates.  And if Carmilla has to move…”

_Oh._

So that was why Laura was so insistent. She looked away to keep herself from feeling any sympathy for Laura’s worried puppy-dog expression. Ell’s eyes scanned the sidewalk for any familiar redhead or ex girlfriend coming to meet them.

“Anyway, like I said, who says I even have a crush on--”

She saw someone coming down the block. She had the same HELLA GAY shirt she had been wearing before, paired with neon green pants and a baseball cap. She was skateboarding down the sidewalk, turning into the driveway.

“Hey, Ell!” Danny called out, kicking her skateboard up and holding it in her hand, “Here I am. What’s up?”

Ell stared. Laura stared. Ell gave her a sharp glare and Laura stopped. But Ell went back to staring.

“Um--hello. Danny. How are you? I didn’t know you skateboard.”

She grinned, taking off her hat to run a hand through her hair. “Oh, totally. There was a skate park where I used to live. I went there all the time.”

“That’s...cool. I never could do that. No balance. I’m kind of a klutz.”

“Thanks,” Danny said; she walked past Ell, flashing her a smile. “And hey, maybe I could teach you a few things.”

Laura looked at Ell, eyebrows raised so high they might have flown off her head.

“So, where’s that other girl that we’re supposed to be helping?” Danny continued, sitting behind the drums. They belonged to Carmilla’s brother Will--who was living out of the house, and didn’t take the drum kit with him. It was another thing Carmilla’s mother threw out with her.

Ell had to admit, she could understand Laura’s curiosity. Where had Carmilla been keeping a drum kit before she brought it into Laura’s garage?

“She’ll be here,” Laura said, “Carmilla’s just late.”

Danny smiled affably.  “Sure.  That’s cool.  Oh hey.  I’m Danny.  Danny Lawrence.”'

She held out her hand for Laura to shake.  Ell turned red as she realized her omission.

“Oh right.  Laura this is Danny Lawrence.  Danny this is Laura Hollis.  She’s Carmilla’s girlfriend and she plays bass.”

Ell threw Laura a look which she hoped Laura understood to mean _don’t say anything about our past._  She thought she got through, but she wasn’t sure.

“Cool.  Nice to meet you.”

Laura gave Ell a half nod and smiled back at Danny.  “We’re happy to have you here!  Thanks so much for coming.  It means a lot to us.”

They shook hands while Ell breathed a sigh of relief and Danny smiled.

“Well when Ell asked, how could I say no?”

Laura shot Ell a significant look which Ell ignored.

Danny stroked the drums.  “Hey these are pretty nice.”  She picked up the drumsticks, twirling one idly with one hand.

Ell stared.  Between the skateboard, the snapback, and those clearly very dextrous fingers, how was it possible for one person to be so attractive?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice cutting through the air.  Carmilla stood in the doorway, clad in her traditional all-black, face scrunched up, hands curled into fists.

“What the frilly hell is this?”

Laura’s face paled. She smiled sheepishly. “Um, Carm, I--”

“I cannot believe you fucking did this when I told you _no.”_

“You went behind her _back?_ ” Ell gasped, “I’m doing this and she doesn’t even want my help?”

“She does want your help!” Laura answered, looking at Ell, then back at Carmilla, “My girlfriend is just way too stubborn.”

“Laura--”

_“No,_ Carmilla,” she answered, putting the bass down and crossing her arms, “You look awful, and you won’t let me help you, and you expect to stand back and watch you slowly get worse and worse?”

Laura was right. Carmilla was obviously not in the best shape. Her pants had a hole in them; she had a tight white t-shirt under her leather jacket, stained with sweat like she hadn’t changed in days. Her eyes were dark and sunken.

She was still gorgeous. But she definitely looked homeless.

“I don’t want you to be homeless,” Laura finished softly, “I don’t want to lose you, okay? Can’t we at least _try?”_

It would have been really cute if Carmilla wasn’t Ell’s ex-girlfriend, to be honest. Carmilla closed her eyes before slowly breathing through her nose, fists unclenching slightly.

“...Fine. But I expect you to follow through on what you said to get me to show up.”

“Oh, _definitely._ Promise.” Laura said, grinning.

Maybe not so cute anymore. Ell frowned and looked down at her keyboard, Carmilla looking at her.

“Eleanor.”

“Carmilla.”

She put down the guitar case she was holding, unlatching and taking out Bagheera--so named because of its color, black as the night. Carmilla played it for her many, many times.  

Ell was hit with a wave of memories.  Carmilla serenading Ell when Ell was feeling insecure about their relationship.  Carmilla dragging Ell away from her studies to listen to a new song she’d been working on.  Carmilla singing Ell to sleep.  Carmilla writing a song for her.  Carmilla, Carmilla, Carmilla.  Ell shut her eyes hard to try and ward them off.  Now they were all tainted with the bitterness of the break-up.

“Umm…hey. I’m Danny.”

All three pairs of eyes swiveled to look at her.

Carmilla was the first to speak.

“What the fuck.  You’re a giant.  How did I not notice you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Fuck off Clifford.  This band is going to be a headache and a half without me having to deal with a stranger.”

“She didn’t mean that!”  Laura cried out.  “She just doesn’t deal well with surprises.”

“I don’t deal well with _people.”_ Carmilla ground out.

Laura gave Danny and Ell a tight smile.  “Give us a moment please?”

Laura dragged Carmilla off to the corner, speaking in hushed tones.

Ell gave Danny a helpless smile.

“I’m so sorry about this.”

Danny shrugged.  “It’s not your fault.  Sounds like you didn’t know either.”

They were cut off by a sudden noise.  When they looked over, Carmilla and Laura were furiously making out against the wall.

Ell immediately averted her eyes, praying that she were anywhere but here.  Danny coughed lightly and the two sprang apart, Laura looking slightly guilty and Carmilla with a smug smile of satisfaction.  Laura whispered something in Carmilla’s ear before disentangling their limbs and wandering back over to the main area.

“Uh sorry about that.”  Laura refused to make eye contact with either of them. Which Ell presumed was for the best.

“Can we just get to practicing? Please?” Ell asked.

“Alright, let’s see what you ladies can do,” Carmilla answered, flipping open her guitar case again and pulling out music, “I’ve got some music we can use.”

Ell took a deep breath as a sheet of music was handed to her.  So she’d never played this style of music before.  So what?  At least she made it past her ex making out with her ex-best friend.  That was an accomplishment, right?

Ell glanced down at the page.  Seemed simple enough.

“Count us off Big Red.”

“My name is _Danny.”_  But Danny did as requested, clicking her drumsticks together before launching into the song.

Ell found that she didn’t have time to panic about not knowing what to do.  Once the song was underway, she was just _reacting,_ trying to keep up with everyone.  She smiled to herself.  This wasn’t so hard. At the end of the day, music was music, and this was easier than the classical style she was used to. She hit every note with precision.

And Danny...she seemed a little frustrated. The song wasn’t that fast, and it was clear Danny wanted to just wail away on her drums.

Laura was the newest musician of the group (or at least Ell guessed, not knowing Danny well enough) but that didn’t mean she wasn’t holding her own. Her fingers danced along the fret, bobbing her head to the beat, watching Carmilla with a huge grin. As for Carmilla…

No matter how bitter Ell was, Carmilla was a natural born musician. She could never take that from her. Her fingers flew across the strings of her guitar. When she sang, her voice was pure and raw, like she was spilling her blood and guts all over the floor.

The song ended and Ell bowed her head, smiling. Playing music always put her at peace, no matter what music it was. No one could ever ruin that, not even Carmilla. When she lifted her head again, Carmilla was breathing heavily, looking at Laura with a crooked smile.

“Good job, Cupcake,” Carmilla said. Laura blushed and looked away. Carmilla’s smile disappeared when she looked behind her.

“But you both need some work.”

“Need some work?” Danny asked, “what are you talking about?”

In the same instant, Ell’s mouth dropped open.   _“Excuse me?”_

Carmilla just raised an eyebrow, electing to ignore Danny.  “You heard me Cinnabon.”

“In case you didn’t notice,” Ell sneered, “your girlfriend has the easiest part.  And she’s _still_ the only one who flubbed any notes.”

Laura winced in the background, but Carmilla’s eye merely twitched.  “What’s your point?  Even when she messes up, she plays a hundred times better than you do when you’re hitting all your precious notes.”

Danny crossed her arms, clearly displeased at being ignored.  “Ell was perfect.  What’s your problem?”

Ell’s eyes widened. Danny was defending Ell? Not herself? It made her stomach flip.

“Ell was playing,” Carmilla said, “Not _performing._ She was stiff as hell.”

“You mean I had good posture,” Ell answered.

“No. I mean you’re stiff as hell. You need to learn to play for a crowd and not for a recital. As for _you,_ Red,” Carmilla continued, “You kept going off tempo.”

Feeling obligated now to defend her, Ell interrupted. “Well, maybe the song would be better if it was faster,” Ell said.

Carmilla huffed. “Yeah, right.”

_“Carm!”_  Laura hissed.  “You promised to behave!”

Carmilla rolled her eyes.  “This _is_ me behaving, cupcake.  If we want a snowball’s chance in hell of actually winning the competition, we’re going to need to do better than that.”

“Maybe we don’t want a snowball’s chance of winning,” Ell grumbled, “Maybe I don’t want us to win at all.”

_“Excuse me,_ Ell,” Carmilla snapped, “You say something?”

Ell’s shoulders sagged and she sighed. “...No. I guess we should run through the song again.”

Laura moved to elbow Carmilla in the side and she gave a very put-upon sigh.

_“Thank you.”_  

Ell winced.  The words were less than sincere.  Carmilla mumbled something that Ell didn’t quite catch.

“What was that?”

Carmilla grumbled again a little louder, “and I guess we can try it a little bit faster.”

Danny looked at Ell and mouthed ‘whipped’. Ell stifled a laugh.

“Count us off,” Laura said, not trusting Carmilla to say anything else to the two of them.

“One-two-three-four!”

Ell threw herself into the piece with a vigor.  It helped that this time she wasn’t reading blind and had some awareness of what was coming next.  She let her fingers fly over the keys, leaping and pounding in ways they never got to when she practiced Chopin or Bach.

Danny, meanwhile, seemed to have picked up some energy, drumming with more enthusiasm.  Ell thought she caught some extra improvisations that hadn’t been there last time, but it was hard to tell since she’d been so caught up in her own part.

Laura was clearly jazzed, bopping along and grinning from ear to ear.

Even Carmilla seemed to be responding to the vibe, kicking it up another level, which Ell hadn’t thought possible.  Her voice was simultaneously huskier and somehow more sensual, moving effortlessly despite the faster pace.

When they finished, Carmilla nodded. “...Better. Not that much better. But better. And Red?”

_“Danny._ And yes?”

“I heard some improv.”

She grinned. “Yeah--”

“Don’t mess with my music.” Carmilla unlatched her case again. “That is all I can deal with for today.”

“But we barely--” Laura started, and the look Carmilla gave her was so withering that Laura stopped. “...I guess we can work out when our next one is and I’ll tell you guys at school,” Laura said, looking at Ell and Danny, “Thanks again.”

“I guess I’ll head out, then,” Carmilla said, “Laura, I’ll call you, okay?”

“Wait.” Laura grabbed Carmilla’s arm, “How have you been, Carm? Have you been eating okay? I can make you something before you go. Or do you need a change of clothes? We’re the same size, I can totally give you one of my shirts or maybe a thicker jacket--”

“Babe, _relax._ I told you a million times, I’ve got it taken care of.”

Laura frowned. “I...you know it’s my job to worry. I’m your girlfriend. Your extremely lucky girlfriend that doesn’t want you to starve to death.  Or freeze to death.  It’s really cold outside.”

Carmilla’s gaze softened, gently tugging her arm out of Laura’s grasp. “I will call you,” she said, “I promise. We can hang out later and do whatever you want, okay?”

She leaned in, kissing Laura gently on the forehead. She grabbed her case and was walking away, Laura looking on like she was watching her lover march off to war.

“What’s her problem?” Danny asked, getting up.

“Who, Carmilla?”

“Yeah. Seems like she doesn’t like you much. Why?”

Ell froze. “Um...well...Laura and I were friends. But I, uh...disapproved of their relationship. I told Laura it was a bad idea. Carmilla has kind of resented me ever since.”

Which, _technically,_ wasn’t a complete lie. She didn’t approve of Laura and Carmilla.

“Hey, Laura, I’m going to leave too,” Danny called out. Laura nodded, distracted. “...And Ell, see you in school tomorrow? We should hang out in the morning. I’m in senior hall.”

Ell nodded, hoping she didn’t look too eager. “Sure. That--that sounds cool. Uh...see you.”

Danny smiled, hopping back on her skateboard. She kicked off and in a few moments she was gone.

Just Ell and Laura, now, Laura still looking rather preoccupied with some unpleasant thought.

She could just go. Why even say goodbye.

It really wasn’t her problem if Laura was worried.

Ell was already doing enough--

“Did you hear what I just said, Laura?” Ell asked, “‘See you?’ And the way I was blushing? So obvious, right?”

_Ell, why are you doing this to yourself?_

“Yeah,” Laura said absently. Ell frowned, standing next to her.

“Laura, come on,” Ell said, “I’m giving you permission to make fun of me for my not-crush you’re convinced is a crush on Danny. Work with me?”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m just worried. Did you hear those lyrics?”

“What about them…?”

“It was all references to musicians that died when they were 27.”

“And?”

“I’m sorry, but I find my girlfriend’s fixation on musicians that died young kind of foreshadow-y given her current situation,” Laura said. Ell sighed.

“You watch too much TV,” Ell said, “Foreshadowing doesn’t happen in real life.”

With those parting words of wisdom, Ell left to go home. Which was the house right next to Laura’s. Which meant she could still see Laura moping outside her bedroom window.

She glanced at her bottom desk drawer where she knew she still had stashed her heavy-duty flashlight and fought the urge to pull it out.  No.  They didn’t do this sort of thing anymore.

With a sigh, Ell pushed those thoughts out of her head and tried to concentrate on her homework.

 


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey!  Ell!  Come sit!”

Danny was waving Ell over and Ell felt her heart flutter.  If the snapback and hella gay shirt hadn’t already made her sexual orientation clear, the flannel she was sporting would’ve sealed the deal.  But she looked _incredibly_ good in it.

“Hi Danny!”

So far, so good.  Ell managed to say that without stuttering.  

“We didn’t really get a chance to talk the other day.  I wanted to catch up.”

“...to catch up from earlier that same day?”

Immediately, Ell cursed herself.  Danny was giving her an in and she was ramming her foot so far into her mouth it was amazing she didn’t pass out from lack of oxygen.

“Okay you caught me,” Danny held up her hands defensively, still grinning affably.  “I just wanted to talk to you.”

Ell’s brain promptly short-circuited.

“You want to sit…?”

“Yes!” Ell squeaked.

Danny scooted over, making room for Ell to sit next to her. Cromwell Academy had a large window on the second floor, with a little alcove where you could sit right in front of it. Ell sat down, hugging her knees to her chest.

“It’s cool to have a friend here,” Danny said, “I’ve only been here a few weeks, and I mean everyone is nice, but a little too...you know, they’re rich.”

“You’re not?” Ell asked, then mentally hit herself. Why did she think that was a proper question?

“I got a scholarship for my grades,” Danny answered, and Ell relaxed when she didn’t seem upset. Ell decided to switch to a safer topic before her luck ran out.

“Have you been playing drums for awhile?” Ell asked, and Danny’s face lit up.

“Totally. I’ve been playing since I was a little kid.”  

“Me too.”  Ell realized how confusing that statement was and backtracked, “I meant with piano.  I’ve been playing since I was five and my mother sent me to lessons.”

“That’s cool.  I’ve mostly been teaching myself.  I knew a guy at a music store who took pity on me and helped me learn some stuff, but for a while it was just me banging on drums and scaring his customers away.”

Ell let herself imagine Danny as a child, standing behind the drums, banging away with her snapback falling into her eyes. She smiled.

“What’s so funny?”

“Um--I’m just amazed that someone so talented could be self-taught.”

Danny’s smile widened and Ell looked out the window.

“So hey,”  Danny started and Ell swiveled back to look at her.

“I never got to hear you do your thing because I got that phone call.  I still do want to hear you play.”

“Oh!”  Ell flushed.  She had convinced herself that Danny had only been being polite.  This was news.  “Yes of course.  Whenever you want!”

Danny smiled.  “You always sound amazing so I’m excited to hear you do your thing up close and personal.”  She frowned.  “I have class when you usually practice though.  Is there some other time you’re free?”

“Oh. I mean...I suppose there is after school…?”

“I’ve got to watch my brother and sister after school most days,” Danny said, “They’re ten and nine. I have to stay until she gets home. Would six work?”

Ell shrugged. “I do not see why not?”

Ell paused to think about it.  “The school is usually closed by then.  But I have a piano at my house, if you would like to come over?”

She said it, and she realized _what_ she had just asked. What if she thought it was a date. What if Danny thought she was flirting. _Was_ Ell flirting? Was it even possible to accidentally flirt--

Danny shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”

“Oh. Great.” The bell rang for homeroom. Ell got up reluctantly. “So, I’ll see you?”

“Sure,” Danny said with a smile, “It’s a date.”

Ell’s eyes widened. She turned on her heel suddenly and squeaked out, “Great!”

*

Ell spent the rest of the day slowly freaking herself out.  Oh god.  Why did she invite Danny to _her house_?  That was a whole other level!  She should have started more casual.  Surely there was some other neutral place she could’ve found a piano.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.

As soon as she got home, she dumped her backpack in her room and raced around trying to make the house more presentable.  She was in the middle of straightening the kitchen when her phone lit up with a message.

 _Danny Lawrence wants to add you as a friend on facebook_.

Ell squeaked and dove for her phone to accept the request.  Moments later, a message popped up.

Danny: Hey!  So I realized I don’t have your number or your address.  Lmk where I should go to meet you!

Ell slapped her face.  Of course.  Stupid.  She forgot to tell Danny where to go.  Ell quickly replied with her number and address, mentally berating herself the whole time.

Her phone lit up again.  A text from an unknown number.

 _???_ : Hey it’s Danny!  I’m still watching my sibs, but I’ll be over soon!

Ell grinned, adding Danny’s contact information.  Did this count as scoring Danny’s number?  Ell was totally going to count it.  She had Danny’s number!

 _Ell_ : Hey Danny!  No problems.  I’ll just be waiting here.

 _Danny_ : Cool.  I’ll get there as soon as I can.

 _Ell_ : Can’t wait!

She smiled goofily at the phone, sighing. Why was she so excited? Danny didn’t mean a date, just a...date.

Or, alternatively--just hypothetically--Danny totally liked Ell and wanted to see her.

Oh god.  Ell started to hyperventilate.  Was Danny _expecting_ this to be a date?  Should she get flowers?  Make this more romantic?  Her thoughts were interrupted by a buzz of her phone.

 _Danny_ : Hey!  I’m on my way!

Ell bit her lip.  Okay.  Too late to go get flowers.  Should she do something else?  Make Danny dinner?  She could do that maybe.  She glanced at the clock.  Or maybe not.  Not enough time.  Maybe time for a salad?  But what if Danny didn’t like salads?  Maybe she could put out some candles?  

Ell was just about to sprint around the house looking for candles when the doorbell rang.  Oh god.  How had she gotten here so quickly?

She flinched.  Maybe she could still sneak past and find them?  She looked at the door and Danny peering through the window.  When Danny caught Ell’s gaze, she waved.  Nope.  Too late.

Ell sheepishly waved back and went to open the door.

Danny was leaning against it, still in the same clothes from earlier.

“Hey!  So I drove over totally forgetting how close this was.”

“No problem,” Ell squeaked out.  “Um… do you want to come in?”

Danny grinned down at her.  “Sure.  Nice place you got here.”

“Yeah… nice.  Um so the piano room is that way.  But I could get you a drink first if you want?  Or are you hungry?”

Danny waved her off.  “Nah I’m fine.  Just excited to hear you play.”

“Right.  Right.  Um okay.  This way.”

Ell led Danny down the hall to where the small baby grand sat.

“Um… there aren’t really any chairs… but you could sit next to me?”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Danny grinned, sliding right next to Ell on the piano bench.

Ell tried to remember to breathe.

“Is there, uh...anything you would like to hear?”

“I’m not exactly an expert on classical music,” Danny answered, shrugging, “Just play whatever you enjoy doing.”

Ell nodded. “Okay. I can...okay. I have something in mind. It is Beethoven and called _Moonlight Sonata_.”

She took a breath and began to play.

It was a slow piece. Ell had done it so many times it was second nature for her, which left her a lot of time for thinking.

She was afraid Danny would get bored--should she have picked something faster? Maybe she should have. Danny was actually closing her eyes. Ell stopped.

“...Why did you stop?”

“I thought you were bored--”

“No, it was really nice! Keep going?”

Ell nodded, and continued...until she saw that Danny’s head was drooping down.

“Okay, Danny, you don’t need to say you liked it to be polite!”

“I’m sorry, what?” Danny asked, startling awake.

“You fell asleep. If you didn’t like it, just say so.” Ell huffed, standing.

Danny looked horrified. She grabbed Ell by the wrist. “Ell, wait! I’m sorry. It wasn’t your playing. Really. But...you know, I’m just really tired.”

Ell stared down at Danny’s hand, curled around her wrist, willing herself not to blush. “...Sorry. Why?”

“I have two little siblings I need to watch all the time. Try babysitting two kids for three and half hours. And _all they want_ are for me to give them piggyback rides. And then I need to do all my homework and studying in between to keep up my grades. It’s exhausting, you know?”

Ell’s gaze softened. “That does sound tiring.”

“It’s not an excuse though. Seriously! I said I would come listen to you play, and I will. Want to do something else?”

She really did look tired, now that Ell thought about it. “...Lay down on the couch.”

“What?”

“Lay down on the couch.”

“...I don’t get this, but sure?”

“We need you healthy if you’re going to be in the band,” Ell said firmly, “So you are taking a nap. Don’t stay awake on my account if you’re tired.”

“But--”

“And I will play my music for you,” Ell finished, turning sharply and sitting back down at the piano. “Don’t argue, Danny, it won’t work.”

She sighed. “...Thanks.”

Ell went back to the piano, wiggling her fingers over the keys before playing _Moonlight Sonata_ again. When she looked back toward the couch, the music finished, she saw that Danny was fast asleep.

“Good. She’s asleep--”

Wait. She’s asleep.

Danny Lawrence. Was sleeping. On Ell’s couch. And looked _adorable_ while doing so.

Smiling softly to herself, Ell went into the hall closet and pulled out a blanket.  She draped it carefully over Danny, tucking her in, and was about to leave when a noise startled her.

She looked back down at Danny whose nose had bunched slightly as she twisted in her sleep.

Ell frowned.  Should she wake her?  Danny mumbled something in her sleep and Ell hesitantly reached out a hand to soothe her.

At Ell’s touch Danny quieted.  Ell smiled and moved to turn away.  But as soon as she did, Danny’s face twisted again.

With a little more confidence this time, Ell stroked Danny’s hair and Danny once again calmed.

Ell bit her lip.  What should she do?

In the end, she settled for snagging her history textbook from her backpack and settling on the floor by the couch, alternately reading and absentmindedly stroking Danny’s hair.

After a while, Ell’s phone chimed.  Ell’s eyes widened as she reached for it to turn it on silent.  Danny didn’t stir and Ell breathed a sigh of relief.

Ell glanced down.  Laura.  Laura hadn’t texted her in a long while.  She was still unchanged in Ell’s phone.

 _Benedict Arn-L_ : hey so I missed you and Danny in school today!  but practice tomorrow night???

Ell bit her lip.  It would be petty not to respond.  And they were sort of on better terms anyway.

 _Ell_ :  I’ll ask Danny when she gets up, but that’s probably doable

 _Benedict Arn-L_ :  you’re with Danny???  and she’s sleeping????  when did this happen???????

Ell mentally groaned.  Great.  Now Laura wouldn’t let up for another two years.  Laura was relentless with this sort of thing.

 _Ell_ :  It’s not a big deal.  She was tired so she crashed here for a little bit.

 _Benedict Arn-L_ :  but what was she doing at your house?  :)

 _Ell_ :  Nothing.  Just some school stuff.  Gotta go.

Ell turned off her phone and set it to the side, running her fingers through her hair.

A slight groan startled her.

“Where am I--?”

“Oh!  You’re awake!”

Danny sat up, startled. She calmed immediately when she saw who had spoken to her. “Oh. I fell asleep on the couch, huh…?” She looked down at herself. “Did you get a blanket for me?”

“Uh...yes. Was that okay?”

Danny smiled. “Aw. That’s actually really sweet.”

“Thank you?”  Ell tried to think of something else to say.  “Oh!  You’re probably hungry.  Have you eaten yet?  I could make us something?”

Danny stretched her arms above her head, her shirt riding slightly up.  Ell tried valiantly not to stare at the exposed patch of skin.

“I would.  But I have to go watch my siblings.  I was gone longer than I meant to be already.”

“Oh.  Okay.”  Ell remembered.  “Oh!  Laura texted.  Are you free for practice tomorrow?”

“Yeah I think that’s okay.”

“Awesome,” Ell answered; Danny got up, and Ell went to fold the blanket carefully and put it back in the closet.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be more fun tonight, Ell,” Danny continued, “I meant for us to hang out tonight, not to take a nap on your couch and then leave.”

Ell shook her head, closing the closet door. “It’s fine. I think it’s nice that you’re dedicated to your family and your schoolwork. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I’ll make it up to you next time,” Danny answered, gripping the doorknob.

“Next time…?”

“Of course,” Danny said, looking back at her, “If you’re okay with it. Maybe you could come back to my place instead.”  

Ell smiled widely.  “I’d love that.”

“Great!  I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow,” Ell parroted back.

Danny smiled and then without warning, pulled Ell into a brief hug.  She stepped back and off of Ell’s doorstep, turning as she went.

“See you tomorrow Ell!”

Ell stared after her retreating figure.  Tomorrow.

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

Laura and Carmilla were already in the garage bickering when Ell showed up.

“Cupcake, I don’t see why we have to do this.”

“Carm we want to win!  You heard how good we sounded after just two practices.  Practice makes perfect.”

Carmilla made a face.  “My playing’s already perfect sweetheart.  It’s the other two who need to catch up.”

Ell cleared her throat and they both turned around to face her, Laura wearing a sheepish grin and Carmilla giving her a clearly calculated bored look.

“Cinnabon.”

Ell winced at the old nickname.  She wasn’t the only one.  Laura looked like she’d bitten into a sour grape.

“About that.  Can you please not call me that?”

Carmilla stared disinterestedly at her nails.  

“Whatever.”

Laura seemed to recover and grinned at Ell.

“So you and Danny, huh?”

Ell glared at her.  She thought they’d already gone over this.

“No.  Stop that.”

“She just happened to be at your house?”  Laura’s grin was slightly manic and Ell fought the urge to back away.

“ _No_.”  

Even Carmilla had glanced up now, clearly amused.  “You and the Ent?  Interesting.”

“Why don’t I just ask Danny about it then…?”  Laura’s grin did not diminish.

Ell warred with herself.  On the one hand, she didn’t want to give Laura any more ammunition than she already had.  On the other hand, she _really_ didn’t want Laura asking Danny uncomfortable questions.

“Please don’t say anything to Danny.”  A thought occurred to her.  “And _please_ don’t tell her about Carmilla and I.”

Carmilla looked surprised, and Laura tilted her head curiously. “If you’re _not_ dating Danny, why do you care?”

“Oooh, a very good question Laura,” Carmilla said, smirking, “Why, pray tell, is it so important that she not know?”

Ell’s jaw set. “Maybe it’s just nice for me to have a friend that doesn’t know about what happened, okay? I’m tired of people asking me about it. Or talking to people about it behind my back.”

“...Maybe you shouldn’t have done it then,” Carmilla answered.

Ell’s eyes widened. She crossed her arms. “Maybe you shouldn’t have lied to me then.”

“Maybe you should be nicer to me if you want me to keep your little secret--”

“Both of you, _no_!” Laura interrupted, “No one is telling anyone anything, Carmilla.”

“Why not?”

“Because Ell is right. You lied--no, Carmilla, listen to me,” Laura continued, putting a hand up when Carmilla tried to protest, “She was not trying to get you in trouble. It wasn’t some petty thing. You guys were dating for a _year_.”

Carmilla blew a strand of frizzy, unkempt hair out of her face. “Whatever. Just remember, Ell. Until you tell Red I’ve got _leverage_.”

She walked away to tune her guitar.

“...Don’t worry about her,” Laura said, “She won’t do anything if I tell her not to.”

“Why does she do that?” Ell asked.

“What? I mean, she’s always been a little broody--”

“No. I mean listen to you. She never did that with me. She wouldn’t have cared if I didn’t want her to do something if she wanted to bad enough.”

Laura paused, then gave a little shrug. “I mean, I guess that’s why we’re dating then?”

Maybe it was Carmilla’s threats combined with her ongoing annoyance with Laura. Whatever the reason, the very barely concealed bitterness Ell felt bubbled over at what should have been a harmless comment from Laura.

“Or maybe it’s because I didn’t let Carmilla sleep with me,” Ell mumbled.

Laura stared at Ell in shock. “We--seriously Ell, we _are_ , but that is not--”

She stopped when she saw that Ell was choosing to ignore her. “Ell, come on.”

Laura’s hand came up to scratch at the back of her head.

“...if it helps, I think you and Danny are _really_ cute together?” She asked--which forced Ell to look up.

Laura’s eyes were earnest.  She was never much good at lying, least of all to Ell.  So at least Ell knew she meant it.

“Whatever,” Ell muttered. “Please just stop Carmilla from telling Danny.”

Laura opened her mouth, but her eyes jumped away from Ell’s.

“Danny!  You made it!”

Ell turned around sharply, looking up at her. Danny had her hands in her pockets, looking amused.

“What was that about stopping Carmilla from telling me something…?”

“Er--well--”

“She thinks you’re too tall and it’ll ruin the ‘aesthetic’ of the band,” Laura said, “Whatever that means.”

Danny scoffed.  “I’m a drummer.  I’m literally the only one sitting.”

“And good thing for that Clifford.” Carmilla emerged from the back.  “Well? Are we ready to play?”

Danny gave an affable shrug.  “Sorry about being late.  I had to make sure my little siblings were okay.”

“Didn’t ask and don’t care,” came Carmilla’s quick retort.

“Carm play nice!” came Laura’s hiss.  

In response, Carmilla plastered on an utterly fake smile and asked in a too chipper voice, “I’m sorry!  Danny why don’t you tell us all about it?”

Danny wrinkled her nose.  “Um, let’s just play.”  She nodded to Ell who still had not totally recovered from almost being caught, “Hey Ell.  Missed you at school today.”

“Yes I--uh… missed you too?”

Carmilla snickered at Ell’s fumbling, but was silenced by a look from Laura.  She wrinkled her nose and tossed her hair, glancing back at Danny.

“Count us off Gingersnap.”

Ell was grateful for the distraction, and Danny frowned with determination before clicking her sticks together and beginning to drum.

She kept playing, getting good enough that she could look away from the music every few moments to glance at the others. Ell took a peek at Danny, who seemed oddly serene for playing an instrument that was so...well...aggressive.

Danny’s eye opened a crack, seeing that Ell was looking. Ell was about to hastily cast her eyes back at her keyboard--

And Danny _winked_.

At Ell. It had to have been at Ell. _Danny winked at her_. She was so shocked that her hands tripped up.

“What the _fuck_ , Ell!” Carmilla exclaimed, the sudden unpleasant noise startling her. “ _Shit_ , you made me break a string!”

“Sorry, sorry!”  Ell looked sheepishly at Carmilla who was glaring and nursing a red welt on her arm where the string had snapped.

“Well?”  Carmilla demanded, “what the fuck happened?”

“Sorry I got… distracted.”

She chanced a glance at Danny who threw her an apologetic look.  Carmilla caught the exchange and looked ready to murder the both of them.

“Don’t let it happen again,” she gritted out.

“Okay,” Laura cut in, “Ell’s sorry.  So can we please just _let it go_ ,” this was directed towards Carmilla, “and try again?”

“Fuck you both,” Carmilla mumbled, before saying for them to hear, “I have to replace this string. We can take five.”

“Wait, Carmilla, I’ve got a first-aid kit!” Laura exclaimed, putting down her bass and going to grab one hanging off the wall of the garage. She grabbed some camping chairs, unfolding one and pointing at it. “Sit, Carmilla.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes, but sat down. Laura tended to the welt on her girlfriend’s arm, Carmilla automatically leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Hey, I’m really sorry,” Danny whispered, walking next to Ell, “I was messing around. Didn’t think about screwing with your concentration.”

“It’s fine,” Ell said. She looked at Danny, noticing her hands. “Danny, what _happened_?”

“What? Oh.” Danny looked down at her hands, that had started to bleed. “I did some practice when I went home last night and I couldn’t get this really complicated rhythm down, you know? I got some blisters. No big deal--”

“It is a big deal,” Ell answered. Laura was too preoccupied with Carmilla to care about Ell sneaking in quickly to grab a roll of bandages.

“Here.” Ell grabbed Danny’s arm. Other than that quick hug the other day, this was the first time Ell had touched her. And the first time it was more than a few seconds.

Her hands were rough and calloused, blisters along the top of hands, right below the fingers. Ell gently wrapped a bandage around both her hands.

“...You know, if you do this again it’ll become a habit.”

“What?” Ell asked, focused on her work.

“Taking care of me.”

Ell’s breath caught.  She looked up from Danny’s hand to meet Danny’s eyes, but when faced with their intensity, immediately blushed and looked back down.

“Maybe I like the thought of taking care of you,” she mumbled, trying to will her cheeks to cool down.

“But if you do that, then I’m going to expect this kind of treatment all the time.  I’ll get used to it.  What will I do when you’re not here, huh?”

She looked back up at Danny for a moment, her looking down at Ell with a smirk. “You are insufferable,” Ell answered.

Danny shrugged. “Just letting you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

“Believe me, I can handle it.”

“I hope you’re right.”

Ell got up, finishing her wrapping of Danny’s hands, and walked away to check on Laura and Carmilla.

Carmilla was sitting in Laura’s lap, welt bandaged and working carefully to replace the string on Bagheera. Laura’s arms were around her waist.

“Hey, Carmilla, sorry again for that--”

“Can it, Cinnamon Roll,” Carmilla snapped, not looking up, “If you keep getting distracted by Red over there, she’s out.”

“You--you can’t just kick her out!” Ell sputtered.

“Like Hell I can’t.”

“Laura?” Ell looked at her. She was rubbing the spot on Carmilla’s arm.

“I mean, if Carmilla gets hurt…”

“Do you _know_ how incredibly unlikely the odds are of this happening again?”

Ell’s voice had raised slightly, and Danny looked over at the three of them.

“Hey, was she wearing those before--”

“Yes, I bandaged her hands, yes that is adorable,” Ell interrupted, “And you can make fun of me for it later. If Danny goes, I’m out Carmilla.”

“Oh, how disappointed I shall be.”

“Carm,” Laura interrupted, pulling her girlfriend closer to her, “we can’t enter the competition with only two people.  So please play nice.  You promised me you’d play nice.”  Her hand came up to scratch at Carmilla’s neck and Carmilla all but melted.

Ell’s eyebrows shot up.  Well that was interesting.

“Fine.  Whatever.  Just don’t do it again.”

Ell and Danny exchanged looks.

“Look,” Danny began, “you’ve been nothing but an ass since I got here.  And I like Ell so I agreed to come and Laura seems nice so who knows how you two ended up together, but this whole thing just feels like you hating on me and Ell for being here.  Drumming is supposed to be the way I de-stress.  I don’t need more stress _added_ to my life.”  She tossed Ell an apologetic glance as she stood up.  “I think I’m gonna go.  Maybe you can take the time to find a drummer you actually like.”

Ell bit her lip, warring with herself as Danny stood up to leave the garage.

“Wait Danny, don’t go!”  Laura cried out.  She shoved Carmilla off her lap lightly, hissing something in her ear that Ell couldn’t catch.

Carmilla heaved a sigh, running her hand through her hair, but ambled after Danny.

“Wait gingersn--I mean Danny.  Just wait okay?”

Danny got on her skateboard, pausing with one foot on the board and one resting on the ground, ready to push off.

“Look, I mean--I didn’t want to do this,” Carmilla admitted, “Ell and I--we don’t exactly get along. I don’t like her. And I don’t like you because you do like her, okay? But...I mean... _technically_ you have not done anything, objectively, to make me hate you. I guess.”

Danny gave a startled laugh.

“Okay wow.  You are _really_ bad at this apology thing.”

Carmilla scowled at her.

“I am trying to play _nice_ Clifford.”

Danny laughed again.

“And you’re terrible at it.  Don’t worry.  I’ll come back in.  I felt bad for leaving Ell anyway.”

Carmilla’s mouth twisted, clearly wanting to say something else, but she refrained.  That was progress in and of itself.

“So...should we start practicing again, then?” Laura asked hopefully. Carmilla’s eyes shut tight as she breathed out her nose.

“As much as I want to call it a night, we should probably play through the song again,” Carmilla answered, “Think you can handle it this time, Cinnabon?”

Ell flashed a sheepish smile, going back to her keyboard. “I, uh...yes. Yes I can.”

“You better treat Ell better, too,” Danny continued, stepping off the skateboard. Carmilla’s head snapped back toward her.

“Oh, really?”

Danny crossed her arms. “Ell is the first friend I’ve made since I moved here. So yes. I am asking you to treat my friend better.”

Ell’s face went red. She cleared her throat and looked back down at the sheet music as Danny and Carmilla stared each other down.

“...Laura, I swear, you are lucky you’re cute,” Carmilla finally said. “Fine. I will handle the Cinnamon Roll with kid gloves if that’ll make you less annoying.”

“ _And_ call her Ell,” Danny continued.

  
Carmilla’s eye twitched.

“Are you ready to play through the song again... _Ell_.”

Danny smirked and Ell nodded.

“Cool. Let’s do this,” Danny said, walking back to the drum kit.

She counted them all off, and they managed to actually play it through a few times without getting into any arguments or threatening to quit. When they finished, Carmilla was tossing Bagheera back in its case and grabbing Laura.

“You. Me. Your house, _now_.”

“Wait, what--”

“If I do not spend some quality time with you that has nothing to do with this band I will go insane.”

Laura smiled, surprised, and was about to go in with Carmilla when she turned back suddenly to look at Ell and Danny.  “Wait, wait, wait!”

Carmilla spun, annoyed..  Laura held out her phone.  “We need a better way to communicate than me texting Ell and hoping she sees Danny.  So I was thinking a group text would work well!”

Carmilla groaned, “Laura, what if I don’t _want_ to talk to any of them?”

Laura shrugged, “you don’t have to respond if you don’t want to.  I still think it’s a good idea.”

She looked to Ell and Danny for confirmation.  Ell shrugged and Danny gave a tentative nod.  “Great!  Danny give me your number and then I’ll set it up!”  Laura passed her phone to Danny who put in her number.  Carmilla stood impatiently, tapping her foot.  As soon as Danny handed the phone back to Laura, Carmilla grabbed Laura’s arm, yanking her inside. “Um, see you guys later?” Laura called over her shoulder.

“We’ll be fine!” Ell called out, as Carmilla practically dragged Laura into the house.

“I still don’t get how they’re dating,” Danny said to Ell, “Laura seems cool. Carmilla is such a douchebag.”

Ell shrugged, not looking at Danny as she gathered the music to practice at home. “I don’t know. Carmilla isn’t that bad all the time.”

“Why, you know her that well?”

Ell panicked.  Lying by omission was one thing.  But lying to Danny?

“Oh.  Well Carmilla dated a lot of girls before Laura.  Clearly she must be nice to _some_ of them.  And she was nicer to me before she started dating Laura…” Ell trailed off not sure what else to say.  “We didn’t see eye to eye on that.”

“Yeah I get that.  Protective of your friend?”

“Something like that,” Ell murmured.

Danny smiled at her.  “You’re a good person Ell.”

Ell tried not to visibly squirm as something inside of her twisted.

She packed up her equipment, not quite willing to look Danny in the eye.

When she looked up again, Danny was grabbing her skateboard, ready to head out.

“Will you be alright getting home?” she asked.

Danny flashed her a grin.

“I think I’ll manage.  It’s only a few minutes away.”

“Right, right.”  Ell looked down.  Danny had told her that the other day.  She should have remembered.

Danny glanced at her phone.

“Hey actually,” she looked over at Ell.  “Are your parents expecting you home anytime soon?”

Ell looked at her, nose wrinkling in confusion.  “My parents work a lot.  They won’t be home till late.”

“Cool.  Do you want to hang out at my place for a bit?  If you don’t mind crazy little kids running around, it’s not that far.  And I feel bad for crashing out the other day.”

Ell’s tongue felt heavy.  Danny was such a good person.  And Ell was lying to her.  But Danny was also looking over at her with a hopeful, open expression.  How could Ell say no?

“I’d love that.”

Danny flashed her a grin, scooping up her skateboard under one arm.

“Awesome.  It’s just a walk a little that way,” she motioned.  

 **  
** Ell pushed down her anxieties and smiled, stepping into the night.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Carmilla had always been a fan of late night walks. Ell would often be in the middle of doing homework in the kitchen when she’d hear a knock on the sliding glass door or the window and there’d Carmilla be. She’d motion for Ell to follow and they would walk the neighborhood for hours. Ell would need to take Carmilla’s hand or she would have never known where she was--Carmilla was so dark herself that she blended in at night. 

 

Not so with Danny. Where Carmilla blended in with the dark, Danny’s hair was bright in the light of the almost-full moon. Where Carmilla walked in silence, her feet hitting the pavement with the gentle precision of a cat’s, Danny’s pounded the ground, sure footed and strong like a wolf’s. 

 

Where Ell had felt unnerved with Carmilla, like she was walking next to a ghost, now Ell felt comfortable. Danny’s presence was one that demanded to be felt and she was grateful for it

 

 

Ell tended to get rather poetic when she thought about her crush. 

 

“...What are you thinking about?” Danny asked, “You look like you’re thinking pretty hard about something.” 

 

“Nothing. Just that it’s nice out.” 

 

Danny looked ahead of her and smiled. “Yeah,” she said, “it is.” 

 

For a moment they smiled at each other, before Danny said, “Oh. We’re here.” 

 

Danny pushed open the front door, calling out, “Aidan!  Jill!  I’m home!  I brought company!"

 

Ell heard the sound of feet skittering across the floor before two children, both pretty young, came to a screeching halt in front of them.  The girl got there quicker and managed to stop before the boy collided into her and sent them both careening into Danny.  Danny caught them both with a laugh.

 

“Alright, alright you two.  Did you get your homework done?”

 

“Ay ay captain!”  They both gave her a sloppy salute and Danny gave them a loose salute back.  Ell’s heart melted at the sight.

 

“This is my friend Ell,” Danny motioned to her and Ell gave a little wave.  The two kids gave her a curious glance, but waved back.

 

“That’s Aidan,” Danny pointed to the little boy, “and that’s Jill,” she said pointing to the little girl.

 

“Oh.  Well I’m pleased to meet you.”  Ell internally scolded herself.  They were kids.  Who speaks like that to kids?

 

The two of them nodded before Danny bent to whisper something to them, sending them off with a light shove.  

 

Danny turned to Ell and smiled.  “Do you want anything?  Food?  Drink?”

 

“Well--well I don’t want to make you go to any trouble--” 

 

Danny laughed a little. “Seriously, Ell, you are the politest person ever. Dude, you let me take a nap at your house. You put a blanket over me. It’s not that hard for me to get you something to eat.” 

 

She motioned for Ell to follow her; they walked into the kitchen and Danny opened her fridge. 

 

“Tell you what,” she said, “I am making myself two peanut butter sandwiches. You can have one if you want.” 

 

Ell nodded politely, sitting down at the table. She finally had enough nerve to ask, “...Danny?” 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“You wouldn’t happen to have marshmallow fluff and bananas, do you?” 

 

Danny took the bread from the fridge, putting it on the counter. “Um, I can check?” 

 

“And...um…” Ell smiled sheepishly, “...Chocolate chips.” 

 

Danny’s eyes widened. “Seriously, I am getting diabetes just thinking about this sandwich.” 

 

She rummaged through her pantry. “Do you eat like this a lot?” 

 

“Laura’s eating habits kind of rubbed off on me. It’s her recipe.” 

 

“You know, the bananas I get, and the peanut butter is fine,” she pulled out the peanut butter and bananas, “But marshmallow fluff and chocolate chips seems a little overkill, don’t you think?” 

 

“It’s delicious,” Ell answered, “That is the only thing that matters.” 

 

Danny rolled her eyes good naturedly, grabbing a knife and spreading the peanut butter across the bread. “Anything else? Chocolate syrup maybe?” 

 

“No…” Ell looked down at the floor and mumbled, “But I do like it without the crust.”

 

Danny started laughing as she made the sandwiches. “Wow, and a few seconds ago you didn’t want me to make you  anything.” 

 

“Well, you offered!” 

 

“That’s true.” Danny hummed as she worked. Ell’s eyes scanned the house. It was small, but comfortable. Ell could see into the family at all of the trophies that were displayed above the fireplace, and the fridge was covered in drawings by Aidan and Jill. Most of them had Danny in them.  

 

“They really love you,” Ell mused.

 

“Hm?”  Danny sucked off a stray bit of peanut butter from her thumb.  “What was that?”

 

Ell cleared her throat a little, speaking up, “your siblings really seem to love you.”

 

Danny smiled fondly, glancing at the refrigerator door.  “They’re really good kids.  Even when I was younger and really bad at taking care of them.  They’ve always been really good.”

 

Ell’s eyes flitted from the fridge to Danny.  “I think you’re good to them too.”

 

Danny gave her a goofy grin, “well thanks.  I have to be since Ma is always working late to make rent.  But I feel like I’m away a lot.  Especially now that I’m working part-time.”

 

Ell stared at Danny in wonder.  “You go to school, play in the band, take care of your siblings.  And you have a job on top of that.  How do you do it all?

 

Danny raised her hands in a sort of ‘aw shucks’ motion, before sliding a plated sandwich down the counter towards Ell.

 

Ell bit into the sandwich, humming appreciatively.  “This is really good.  Thanks.”

 

Danny grinned around a bite of her own sandwich.  “I still think that thing is a heart attack waiting to happen.”

 

Ell laughed a little.  “Worth it.”  

 

There was a moment of silence as they both chewed on their sandwiches.  Then a thought occurred to Ell.

 

“So where do you work?”

 

“Oh.” Danny shrugged. “I work as a courier for a delivery service.” 

 

“That sounds nice.” 

 

“The money isn’t fantastic, but it helps out Ma.” 

 

Ell nodded. For a moment they didn’t say anything, eating their food, until Ell finally said: 

 

“So. Um...tell me about yourself?” 

 

Danny raised an eyebrow. “Well, what do you want to know?” 

 

“Whatever you’ll tell me, I guess.” 

 

Danny put down the last half of her sandwich, smiling. “Alright. Well, I was born in a log cabin--” 

 

“Be serious.” 

 

“Okay, okay. My mom and dad were on vacation and she went into labor in a log cabin. I was born in a hospital.” 

 

Ell laughed. “Where are you from?” 

 

“Boston. Best city in the world--I miss it a lot. But Ma had to move for work. She and Pa split up when Jill was three and she’s had to work really hard to take care of us.” 

 

Danny said it so casually that Ell was almost taken aback. Carmilla never shared anything about herself; Danny threw out that her parents were divorced almost without prompting. 

 

“I--I’m an only child,” Ell felt obliged to respond.  It was a little strange sharing.  Carmilla never really shared and never really reciprocated so Ell had stopped really talking about her background.

 

“My parents travel for work a lot so I’m home on my own most of the time.”  At Danny’s look, she hurried to add, “but it’s okay.  My parents love me; they’re just busy people.”

 

Danny gave her a soft smile as she took a bite of her sandwich.  “Well if you’re ever feeling lonely, you’re always welcome here.  There’s always at least a few bodies hurtling around causing a ruckus.”

 

As if on cue, there was a small crash from upstairs, followed by Aidan’s voice crying out, “I’m alright!”

 

Danny winced.  “I have to go check on him.  I’ll be back in a sec.”

 

Ell assured her that it was fine and watched Danny trot up the stairs, leaping over two or three at a time.

 

Ell sighed.  Was there anything about Danny that wasn’t wonderful?   No , Ell’s brain supplied,  no there is not .

 

Was there anything about Ell that Danny could possibly find date-worthy? 

 

No,  Ell’s brain added,  Definitely not. 

 

Well, why not? Danny liked her. She seemed to like that Ell was polite, she expressed that they were friends, she was the one that invited Ell over. Maybe she was more attractive than she gave herself credit for…

 

Yeah, until she figures out that you dated Carmilla. 

 

“Shut up, brain,” Ell mumbled. Danny would  not  find out. Maybe... maybe  she would tell Danny if they were dating. But that was not even a possibility at this point. A sandwich while Danny’s brother and sister were in the house was not a date. 

 

But, now? Never. It was embarrassing, and Danny would at the very least think less of her if not hate her. 

 

“...Yeah, they were rough housing and Aidan fell off his bunk bed,” Danny said, walking back in, “I got him an ice pack and gave him a kiss where he landed. He should be good.” 

 

She sat back down, leaning in slightly. “Anything else you want to do? We could watch a movie. I’d offer to do some drumming for you, but...uh, I kind of can’t afford to buy my own kit.” 

 

“It’s fine. Uh. Sure. A movie would be great.” 

 

“Awesome!” She got up, sliding out her chair. “Go ahead and sit on the couch.” 

 

“Oh--oh. Of course!” 

 

The couch was kind of old and Ell sunk into it, but it was  Danny’s couch.  And she was going to sit next to Danny on the couch. So it was pretty much the best couch Ell ever sat on. 

 

“Okay, let’s take a look,” there was a little cabinet under the TV, and Danny opened it to pull out boxes of DVDs. “I’ve got a lot of cartoons. How do you feel about Disney films? Let’s watch Mulan. She kicks  ass. ” 

 

Ell nodded. “Sure. Put it on!”

  
Danny grinned, popped in the DVD, and jumped onto the couch next to Ell, grabbing the remote. 

 

“I hope you don’t mind me singing along to  all  the songs, I’ve pretty much memorized every word of this movie.” 

 

Ell smiled. Danny started in a rousing rendition of ‘Honor to Us All’, and she learned why Danny was a drummer and not a singer. Still, it was cute. 

 

Danny grinned at her and Ell immediately grinned back.  There was something so  catching about Danny’s enthusiasm.  Danny grabbed the remote and pretended to sing into it like a microphone.  Ell couldn’t help the giggle that escaped.

 

Danny scooted closer, thrusting the makeshift mic into Ell’s face.  For a moment, Ell couldn’t breathe.  Danny was so  close .  Their thighs were pressing together and Danny’s scent was invading her senses.

 

But then the chorus to the song kicked in and Ell was able to snap out of it long enough to make a weak showing of singing it.  Danny seemed to appreciate the effort, bopping her head along in time with the song.

 

When the song ended, Danny dropped the remote back down and leaned back.

 

And then Ell realized.

 

They were still sitting right next to each other, pressed up close despite the fairly roomy couch.  Ell was suddenly hyper-aware of every little movement Danny made, their shoulders brushing as Danny shifted.  One of Danny’s hands came up, pulling out her hair band.  Danny ran her hand through her hair, detangling it from its usual braid.

 

Ell tried to subtly take a deep breath.

 

Please do not pass out on your crush’s couch, she willed herself. 

 

“...I’m pretty sure Mulan was my first crush,” Danny said, looking at Ell. 

 

“Really?” Ell said, stifling a laugh. 

 

“Dude, I told you. She is  badass.” 

 

Ell nodded. “That is definitely true.” 

 

Danny looked back at the movie, before looking at Ell out of the corner of her eye. “So...out of curiosity...you ever have a crush on a Disney Princess?” 

 

“Oh. Well…” Wait. Was Danny trying to figure out if Ell was gay? She was totally trying to figure out if Ell was gay. Which meant nothing, of course. Sometimes people just wanted to know those things for completely platonic reasons. 

 

Ell swallowed. “Cinderella.”

 

“Cool. Cool.” 

 

A smile spread across Danny’s face. “I can totally see how she’d be your type. You practically  are  Cinderella.” 

 

“I am not.” 

 

“Ell, you’re cleaning the lint off of my pillow right now.” Ell had no idea when she had grabbed it; she threw it at Danny. 

 

“Hey!” 

 

Ell huffed.

 

“Well you’re one to talk.  You pretty much are Mulan, aren’t you?  Righteous warrior woman trying to do right by her family?”

 

Danny laughed chucking the pillow back.  “Well I’m not likely to pretend I’m a man anytime soon.”

 

Ell stuck out her tongue, cradling the pillow to her chest.

 

“Besides,” Danny continued, “she might have been my first crush.  But that doesn’t mean she’s my type  now .”   
  


“Oh?”  Ell tried and failed to appear disinterested.  

 

Danny shot her a grin.  “Yeah.”

 

“Ah what Disney princess is your type now?”

 

“Eh.  Cinderella’s not so bad.”

 

Ell blinked at her.  Was Danny insinuating what she thought she was insinuating?  No.  She obviously couldn’t be flirting with  Ell .  She was just being polite.   
  


“Ah Mulan’s pretty cool too.”

 

Danny flashed her a megawatt grin and leaned back.

 

Ell felt more at ease the longer they watched the movie, and she found herself relaxing and leaning back, smiling.

 

By the time they hit “I’ll Make a Man Out of You,” she was goofily belting out lyrics with Danny, not at all caring that neither of them were really great singers, and laughing at the silliness of it all.

 

Danny waggled her eyebrows and Ell collapsed into laughter again.  She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had this much  fun .  And all they were doing was watching a movie Ell had seen a hundred times before.

 

She’d lost track of the actual movie, too busy laughing with Danny, until she realized the credits were rolling. 

 

“Oh! Oh,” Ell frowned, looking at Danny. “I need to go home. My parents might already be back by now.” 

 

She scrambled to her feet, Danny getting up after her. “Thanks, Danny. I had a really great time.” 

 

“Hey, ditto,” Danny answered, “I meant what I said before, by the way. You’re the first friend I’ve made since I moved here...I haven’t had much time to, you know, socialize. Between

work and drumming and everything." 

 

“Well, since my falling out with Laura and Carmilla I’ve kind of...we had the same friends. It’s nice having someone outside of them.” 

 

“Glad I can help,” Danny answered, grinning. She opened her arms. “See you at school?” 

 

“Definitely.”

  
Ell hugged her. She let go and looked at Danny. 

 

And--because it felt  so much  like a date, and Danny had been so nice and sweet, and Ell was so happy--she leaned in to give Danny a quick kiss on the cheek. 

 

Danny’s expression went from relaxed and easy to wide eyed and shocked in an instant.

 

Ell realized what she’d done. 

 

“So...so...SEE YOU HAHA BYE FRIEND.” 

 

She had her stuff and was out the door before Danny could respond. 

 

Her mind was working on auto pilot. Her legs managed to get her home, she said  something  to her parents when they asked where she’d been, and she was in her room. 

Ell didn’t care who she was talking to. She needed to talk to  somebody.  And with her mind completely short circuited, she instinctively grabbed her flashlight and went with the first person she thought of. 

 

When Ell and Laura were young, they had learned morse code. With their rooms right across from each other, it was fun for them to flash messages to each other in the dark when their parents thought they were asleep. 

 

So Ell grabbed the flashlight, opened her window, pointed it at Laura’s, and clicked it on and off. 

 

LAURA SOS I JUST DID SOMETHING BAD


	6. Chapter 6

At first there was no answer, and Ell was afraid Laura wasn’t there. But then she saw the familiar light.

 

ELL WHAT HAPPENED IS THIS AN EMERGENCY

 

KIND OF

 

Another long pause before finally:

 

CARMILLA SAYS HELLO

 

CARMILLA WHAT DO YOU MEAN CARMILLA

 

SHE’S KIND OF SLEEPING OVER AT MY PLACE TONIGHT

 

Ell could imagine Laura’s sheepish, embarrassed smile.

 

ARE YOU SERIOUS

 

IT’S REALLY COLD OUTSIDE AND I FINALLY GOT HER TO AGREE TO SNEAK IN.  I WAS WORRIED SHE WAS GOING TO GET FROSTBITE

 

MAYBE THIS IS A BAD TIME

 

NO NO YOU ARE MY FRIEND IT IS FINE

 

Carmilla was furious right now, wasn’t she?

 

And probably in some state of undress.

 

Ell kept clicking the flashlight.

 

I WENT OVER TO DANNY’S AFTER YOU AND CARM LEFT

 

OH MY GODRIC GRYFFINDOR ARE YOU SERIOUS

 

UNFORTUNATELY YES AND LAURA I DID SOMETHING BAD

 

YOU SAID THAT ALREADY WHAT

 

Ell clicked the flashlight switch so hard she was afraid it’d break. But she couldn’t stop.

 

WE HAD DINNER THEN WATCHED MULAN AND THEN SHE HUGGED ME AND I COULD NOT HELP MYSELF SHE SMELLED SO NICE SO I KISSED HER CHEEK

 

Once again, there was a good minute before there was an answer.

 

CARMILLA INSISTS I TELL YOU YOU’RE BEING STUPID

 

She had said something far worse than stupid, Ell was sure.

 

LAURA DO YOU HAVE TO TRANSLATE FOR HER

 

SHE IS MY GIRLFRIEND WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO

 

KEEP MY ROMANTIC MISTAKES AWAY FROM MY EX GOD

 

Ell saw two shadows moving in Laura’s room, until one retreated, leaving just Laura’s familiar form.

 

SHE’S NOT WATCHING ANYMORE BUT SHE STILL THINKS YOU’RE BEING STUPID

 

OF COURSE IT WAS STUPID WHY DID I KISS HER

 

I’M PRETTY SURE SHE MEANT YOU’RE STUPID FOR FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT

 

CARMILLA IS NOT EVEN PART OF THIS CONVERSATION ANYMORE WHY ARE YOU STILL EXPLAINING FOR HER

 

There was another long moment.  Ell could tell Laura was trying to think of what to say.  And then it hit her and she was furiously flashing her light at Laura.

 

OHMYGOD YOU AGREE WITH HER DON’T YOU

 

WHAT DON’T BE SILLY

 

YOU DO!  LAURA HOLLIS WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR A DECADE I KNOW WHEN YOU’RE LYING

 

There was another pause in the conversation as Laura’s silhouette moved away from the window.  Ell grimaced.  Laura was totally asking Carmilla for advice.  After a beat, Carmilla came to the window and shoved it open, whilst holding an iHome and blaring “Can You Feel the Love Tonight.”  Ell’s mouth fell open in shock.  A second later Laura yanked Carmilla back, closing the window.  The sound mercifully cut off.

 

LAURA CONTROL YOUR GIRLFRIEND PLEASE

 

ELL CARMILLA IS NOT A DOG WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME

 

A beat. Then Laura clicked her light again.

 

ALSO CARMILLA SAYS IF ANYONE IS A DOG IT’S DANNY

 

WHAT IN THE NAME OF MOZART LAURA WHY ARE YOU HELPING CARMILLA TALK TO ME GET HER OUT

 

HOW

 

DO WHAT I DID AND THREATEN TO MAKE HER SLEEP ON THE COUCH

 

WHY WOULD I TAKE ADVICE FROM HER EX GIRLFRIEND ON HOW TO DEAL WITH HER

 

LAURA I SWEAR ON AUSTEN I WILL CALL YOUR DAD AND TELL HIM CARMILLA IS SLEEPING IN BED WITH YOU

 

In Laura’s room, Ell could see the silhouette of two people gesturing animatedly toward one another.

 

YOU WOULDN’T DARE ELL I WILL TOTALLY TELL YOUR PARENTS YOU SLEPT WITH HER TOO

 

AT LEAST I BROKE UP WITH HER DON’T TEST ME

 

Ell paused, realized what this conversation meant, and clicked again:

 

AND WAIT YOU ARE BOTH SLEEPING TOGETHER ALREADY WHAT IN THE NAME OF VERDI LAURA HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOU WAITED UNTIL WE BROKE UP

 

THIS IS ABOUT YOU AND DANNY ELL AND HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO TELL YOU WE DID WHEN WILL YOU LET THAT GO

 

MAYBE WHEN I ACTUALLY BELIEVE YOU

 

There was a pause on the other end.  Ell pretty much expected that.  Followed by some wild gesticulating from Laura’s figure and some more subdued gesticulating from Carmilla’s.  Ell waited to see what rejoinder they could possibly have.

 

And then her phone rang.

 

Ell’s eyes grew wide as she lunged for it, hissing as she answered, “ _what are you doing_?  My parents will know I’m up.  The whole point of the flashlights is so they don’t!”

 

Laura huffed.  “We’re in high school Ell.  We’re allowed to be up later.  Besides, the flashlights were taking too long and Carm wanted to participate.”

 

Ell glared at her phone--as if Laura could see it--before replying, “well I don’t want to talk to her.  Did you think of that?”

 

“Cinnabon,” Carmilla’s low tones cut through as she growled into Ell’s ear, “I get that you’re all sexually frustrated and you’re lashing out.  But I’m not a cheater.  And I’ll wring your skinny neck if you insinuate that Laura would cheat.”

 

“What am I supposed to think? I--I--” Ell struggled to keep her voice low, “I have this _horrible_ breakup with you and Laura tells me that she doesn’t think less of me and that we’re still best friends--and I find out a week later she’s dating you. A _week later._ And you guys became friends while we were dating. You hung out a lot without me anyway. What. Am I. Supposed. _To think.”_

 

“Ell,” Laura’s voice cut in, “I didn’t even think of Carm like that until you broke up.”

 

She cut off Carmilla’s muffled _hey!_ in the background with an, “it’s true Carm.”

 

Ell breathed in deep through her nostrils.  Likely story.  Even after the terrible breakup, it was easy to still admit that for all her faults, Carmilla _oozed_ sexuality.  There was no way Laura missed that. Besides...one week. One. Denying she was attracted to Carmilla before just made it _less_ likely for Ell to believe her.

 

Laura continued, “no really!  I don’t know.  Carm was too _broody_ for me.  And like.  You two were cute together because she was the dark and you were the light and like opposites attract, right?  But I always thought I wanted someone who shared my values and cared and was _sweet_.  Which I thought Carmilla wasn’t.”

 

Ell was silent.  Laura was reiterating a lot of things she’d said while Ell was still with Carmilla and teasing Laura that she needed to date someone so they could go on double dates.  That didn’t make it true then or now.

 

“But it wasn’t until after you guys broke up and I talked a little with Carm that I found out that she _was_ some of those things.  I don’t know.  Maybe it was because she’d never used her charm on me while you two were dating, but once it was there, it all just clicked into place.  And we were spending pretty much all of our time together.  Or texting.  Or whatever.  And I know it seemed like a short time, but that week was like a _year_ for me.  And I’m sorry we didn’t wait longer.  I really am.  But Ell,” Laura’s voice was pleading in earnest now, “if we hadn’t gotten together, it would’ve just been another form of lying.  Because we weren’t being honest about our feelings.  And I’m so _so_ sorry for pointing it out, but dishonesty is what ruined your relationship together.  And I didn’t want that to happen to us before we even started.”

 

Ell clutched the phone tight in her hand. She missed Laura. They were both only children, and they had been inseparable ever since Laura had proposed to her with a cereal box toy when they were six on the playground. They had been each other’s first kiss in eighth grade and promptly declared it was like kissing their sister. For the love of God, Laura had made them best friend t-shirts.

 

But the thing that made it so hard to forgive Laura was also what made it impossible for Ell to hang up the phone.

 

“She wanted to hurt me,” Ell said softly, “She wanted to hurt me with the best relationship I had in my life and you _let her.”_

 

“Are you _fucking kidding me?”_

 

“Carmilla, don’t take the phone--”

 

“Like Hell I won’t! Listen, Ell, you can sit here and go woe-is-me all you want. You can blame me, you can blame Laura, but _don’t you dare_ imply that I am only with Laura to hurt you. I care about Laura. She was there for me when all of this shit went down. I fucking adore this idiotic Cupcake and you are not going there.”

 

Ell blushed, embarrassed. “I--”

 

“And I might have lied to you, but _you_ are palling around with Red and playing her for a fool too, so maybe you should stop acting holier-than-thou.”

 

Ell had no comeback. That was true.

 

“...Give the phone to Laura,” Ell said, “I want to talk to Laura.”

 

A moment later, Ell heard Laura say, “Hello?”

 

“What do I do about Danny?” Ell asked.

 

“Danny?”

 

“Danny,” Ell said firmly. She was willing to drop it. But she was not willing to forgive it. Not yet.

 

“Oh. Um, you kissed her on the cheek? Like, was it on the corner of her mouth or the cheek?”

 

“I don’t know. Maybe not on the corner, but kind of close?”

 

“Okay,” Laura’s voice was soothing, the same voice that had walked her through all her struggles with puberty and crushes in the past.  Ell relaxed infinitesimally as Laura continued, “So then how did she react?”

 

“Um…” Ell winced, “she didn’t?”

 

“Wait, what do you mean she didn’t?”

 

“I kind of panicked and ran off before she could?  Maybe?”

 

“...So you have no idea.”

 

“I mean, she looked kind of shocked? And she didn’t stop me?”

 

“But was it like ‘oh no I did not want this to happen’ kind of shocked, or ‘oh no I don’t know how to react I wasn’t expecting this’ kind of shocked?”

 

Ell had only seen a quick glance of Danny’s face. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t.”

 

“Okay, what was she like while you were hanging out?  Was she giving off any signals?”

 

Ell thought back to the way their thighs brushed while singing.  She thought about how close they’d sat on the couch.  She thought about the moment they’d shared when talking about princess crushes.

 

“...I don’t think so.”

 

“I don’t believe you, Ell, come on.”

 

“I swear! I don’t think she did. I mean, what could she possibly like about me? She is confident, smart, tall, gorgeous, and I’m just--”

 

“My best friend. That makes you pretty great.”

 

Ell rolled her eyes. “ _Suuuure.”_

 

“Seriously. Just don’t freak out, alright? When you see Danny, just be really casual. It’s up to her to bring it up again. You made your move. The worst that can happen is she wants to stay friends.”

 

“Or she thinks it’s so weird that she doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

 

“I highly doubt that.”

 

“She still won’t ever want to date me, though.”

 

“Um need I remind you that you thought the same thing about Carmilla?  Who dated you for a _year_?”

 

Laura’s voice grew faint as Ell could tell she’d turned away from the phone.

 

“Carm!  Come here and tell Ell that she’s amazing and anyone would be lucky to date her.”

 

The even fainter sounds of Carmilla’s voice filtered through the phone.  “Babe I really don’t think I’m the right person--”

 

“Carmmm…”

 

A very put out sigh and then Carmilla’s voice came through, dry and not at all convincing.

 

“Ell you’re amazing and anyone would be lucky to date you.”

 

“See? _See?”_ Laura said, “Carmilla should know--okay I cannot even pretend. Carmilla, come on. Ignore, like, the last week of your relationship and tell Ell why she’s awesome.”

 

“Jesus, Laura, the wounds are a little too fresh for this--”

 

“Carmilla is right, Laura,” Ell said, “She is not nice enough for this anyway. Maybe she’s not as _sweet_ underneath as you think.”

 

She’d expected that dig to annoy Carmilla, certainly, but she was surprised when Carmilla’s next words were not as biting as before.

 

“Look, I dated you for a reason, okay? I’d never dated a girl for longer than a month before I met you. You’re sensitive and shit.”

 

“Sensitive and--”  Ell bit back a snort, “you are a real poet, you know that?”

 

Carmilla grumbled something that sounded a little like, “shut up,” but Ell couldn’t be sure.

 

“Look Cinnabon--ow stop that Laura, okay _fine_ \-- look _Ell_ ,” Carmilla’s voice was clear and steady, “I meant what I said when I was with you.  You’re pretty goddamn special, alright?”  Carmilla’s voice lowered to a growl, “and if the giant ginger puppy doesn’t recognize that then it’s her loss.”

 

Ell heard a vague squeal on the other end and a light _oomph_ and presumed that Laura had tackle-hugged Carmilla.

 

Carmilla’s voice filtered through again, light, with barely suppressed laughter.

 

“Although if she doesn’t realize it then she’s just as stupid as I always thought.”

 

“ _Carm!_ ”  Laura’s hiss was cut off by the sound of Carmilla’s laughter and some vague rustling sounds before Laura joined in on the laughter.  After a few moments, it died down and Laura’s voice was back.

 

“So ignore that last statement.  But Carm is right.  You’re awesome.  And if Danny doesn’t get that it’s totally her loss.”

 

Ell bit her lip, brow knitting in determination. “Maybe...maybe you are right.”

 

“Goddammit, _finally.”_ Carmilla groaned.

 

“Does that mean you’ll totally girl up and ask Danny out?” Laura asked.

 

“Oh, _no,”_ Ell answered, shaking her head, “This just means I’m not going to freak out when I see her and she inevitably rejects me. You are right. I dated _Carmilla Karnstein._ I can get girls slightly less attractive than Danny. I don’t _need_ someone that adorable…”

 

“What the fuck is that supposed to--”

 

“Great!” Laura interrupted, “Goodnight then Ell. Carmilla and I need to go back to sleep. We’re _really tired.”_

 

“...Yeah alright night Cinnamon Roll bye,” the phone hung up suddenly. Ell wrinkled her nose in distaste.

 

Her ex girlfriend and her ex...her best friend who she was on _shaky_ terms with at best were probably having sex in a room about fifty feet away. In a different house, but still.

 

Ugh. Her brain hurt. That was a lot of really intense soul searching and feeding her heart into a paper shredder. Not fun.

 

And, to add more fun, Ell still needed to see Danny tomorrow. Great--

Ell noticed the icon on her phone that said she had a text. She had been so wrapped up in the conversation she hadn’t noticed.

 

 _Danny_ : Hey Ell, just making sure you got home alright :)

 

 _Danny_ : Know you only live five minutes away but yeah just want to make sure. Night!

 

Ell stared at the messages. And, although she knew it was _ridiculous,_ she could almost imagine Danny, sitting nervously on her bed, trying to figure out the best way to text Ell that didn’t sound stupid...because what if Ell was the type of person who kissed their friends on the cheek and it didn’t mean anything…

 

She shook her head quickly, and finally typed in:

 

 _Ell:_ Fine. Had a great time. You’re great.

  
She was not in the emotional state right now to read a reply; she put her phone on silent and buried her head in her pillow until she fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dusk: On a personal note, this is one of my favorite chapters. I have a deep love for Ell and Laura as best friends. I hope y'all enjoyed it too.


	7. Chapter 7

As luck would have it, Ell did not see Danny until lunchtime.  She had originally intended to go see Danny in the practice room again, but ended up getting trapped in a conversation with her former history professor, wanting to see how she’d been doing.

 

By the time she was able to escape and make her way to the room, Danny was long gone.  Her shoulders sagged in disappointment.  

 

When lunch rolled around, she found that she was jittery with anticipation.  She just needed to gauge Danny’s reaction.  

 

She spotted Danny nonchalantly biting into an apple against a tree in the courtyard, thumbing her way through an old paperback.

 

Upon spotting Danny, Ell’s throat immediately dried up.  Words.  She was supposed to use words.  Except what was she supposed to say again?

 

The crunch of Danny biting into the apple again broke Ell out of her reverie and she walked forward, moving close enough so her shadow blocked the light.

 

Danny glanced up.

 

“Um…hi!” she squeaked out, “mind if I take a seat?”

 

Her mouth was full of apple; Ell gauged her face for Danny’s initial reaction on seeing her. Nothing but a slight raising of the eyebrows. Danny swallowed, and finally said:

 

“Sure.”

 

There. Did she sound slightly apprehensive? Like she didn’t like the idea? Ell took a seat, crossing her legs.

 

“Sooo… it’s really nice out today?”  Ell felt like she could slap herself.  Really?  The weather?

 

Danny shot her a confused look.

 

“Not really?  It’s kind of cloudy and gross.”

 

“Right.  Right…”  Ell bit her lip, glancing at the sky.  Danny was right.  The sky was pretty overcast and gray.  The temperature was cooler than usual.  It was probably going to storm later.  Not exactly the definition of nice weather.

 

“I didn’t realize you had the same lunch period as me,” Ell tried again.

 

“Oh, yeah. I always eat outside. Kind of hate being stuck indoors if I can help it, you know? And by the way,” she finished, “I would have said the same thing. Why haven’t I seen you here sooner?”

 

“I…” how did Ell tell Danny that she usually hid out in the practice room because she was trying to avoid the awkwardness of passing her old friend group?

 

“I’m usually in the practice rooms.”  There.  That was the truth.

 

“Oh wow.  You’re really dedicated, aren’t you?”

 

Ell internally winced.  She’d spent a lot of time recently practicing.  Between avoiding her friends and now the band, piano had rapidly taken over her life in a way that it never had in the past.

 

“Yeah. Piano is really important to me.”

 

Also the truth.

 

Danny nodded, taking in Ell’s empty hands. “Did you not bring a lunch?”

 

“I don’t usually eat until I get home.”

 

“Oh no, come on,” Danny held out the half eaten apple, “Have some. I promise I’m not sick.”

 

“But--”

 

“It’s not good to not eat all day.”

 

Ell looked at Danny as she grabbed the apple.

 

“...You know, if you do this again it’ll be a habit,” Ell teased.

 

“What? Feeding you?”

 

Danny seemed to start to relax a little. Ell in turn did the same.

 

“I was thinking ‘take care of me’, but I guess food has been a theme.”

 

Danny looked down at the ground with a smile. “I guess we take care of each other then.”

 

“Yes,” Ell smiled, “I guess we do.”

 

They sat in amicable silence for a moment as Ell tried to figure out a subtle way to bring up the almost-kiss last night.

 

“So!” she said, a little too loudly and awkwardly.  She winced and toned it down, “I had a lot of fun last night.”

 

Danny grinned at her.

 

“Yeah you’re quite the karaoke partner.”

 

Ell blushed a little.

 

“You’re one to talk.  Who was the one who put on voices for all the characters?”

 

Danny held up her hands, “guilty as charged.  But usually I don’t have a cute girl dueting with me.”

 

Ell’s breath caught.  Was Danny still just being nice?  It was so hard to say.

 

“Anyway,” Danny continued, “It was fun.”

 

“What was your, uh...favorite part?”

  
That was not subtle. THAT WAS NOT SUBTLE. Danny looked at her.

 

“What was yours…?” Danny asked warily.

 

“I don’t know. What was yours?”

 

“Not sure.” Danny fired back.

 

“Me neither.”

 

They sat in silence again for a few moments. It occurred to Ell that maybe Danny was trying as hard to find a way to bring it up without being awkward like Ell was.

 

And they were both failing, which was a mildly comforting thought.

 

Ell took a moment to steady herself.  One second of bravery.  Like a bandaid.  Rip it off.  Then she would know and she could stop pining after Danny.  She could find someone who wasn’t so out of her league.

 

“I… kind of liked the end.”

 

“What, because you got to leave my terrible company?” Danny joked.

 

Ell’s face fell.  That was… not how she was hoping her comment was taken.

 

Danny seemed to notice her change in expression and sombered up.  “Hey.  I… really liked the end too.  I really like any time I spend with you really.”

 

Ell’s expression brightened and then darkened again.  Well.  That wasn’t a bad response.  But it wasn’t really all that clear either.  Danny liked the end as much as anything else.  So maybe she hadn’t really thought of the kiss as a big thing?

 

“Anyway, I was afraid you were mad for some reason,” Danny continued.

 

“Mad? At you? How could I possibly be mad at you?”

 

Danny shrugged. “I don’t know. Your text had a lot of periods. Maybe I was just overthinking it.”

 

“I could never be mad at you. You...you’re my best friend, Danny.”

 

Ell’s eyes widened. “Which is a little extreme since I’ve only known you for two weeks what I meant to say is that I think you are great and I value you our friendship--”

 

She was stopped with a finger to her lips.

“You are cute,” Danny said simply, “And don’t worry. You’re my best friend too. Hell, you’re my only friend right now. Not that we wouldn’t be friends anyway.”

 

Danny was awesome. Danny was so, so awesome and she needed to make tons of friends and be popular and--

 

“Would you like to sit with my friends and I?” Ell blurted out. Danny blinked.

 

“What?”

 

“I--well, I spend most of my time in the practice room, but sometimes I sit with my friends Perry and JP, and...Laura. She sits at the table too. Sometimes Perry has a friend LaFontaine who’ll be there if they don’t have a lab. They would be happy to have you sit with them.”

 

Danny gave her a long look, blinking slowly.

 

“...Does this mean Carmilla is there too?”

 

Ell coughed lightly.  “She doesn’t actually go to this school.  So there’s that, at least?”

 

She tapped her fingers on her leg nervously.  “You already know me and Laura.  And I promise the rest of them are nice too.”

 

“Well...we _do_ have a half hour left before the period is over. Sure.”

 

“You mean right now?”

 

Danny got up, wiping off her pants. “Yeah. Sure, why not?”

 

Ell bit her lip. “Sure, why not.”

 

They walked back into the cafeteria, Ell looking at the lunch table near the back corner. Sure enough, they were there.

 

Perry was the first to notice. She looked at Ell, curls bouncing around her crisply pressed uniform polo, smiling warmly. “Ell! You came back!”

 

Laura looked up too, a slow smile spreading across her face. JP waved.

 

“Uh...yeah guys,” Ell said, “And I brought a friend. This is my friend, Danny Lawrence.”

 

“What’s up?” Danny said, grinning and waving her hand, “I just moved here a few weeks ago. Nice to meet some new people.”

 

Laura smiled and announced to the rest of the table excitedly, “Danny’s in the band!  She’s our awesome drummer!”

 

“Wicked dude,” Laf spoke up.  “I’m Laf.  They/them.  Nice to meet you.  This is Perr and Jeep.  You already know Laura.”  They gestured to the others.

 

“Cool.  Have you all known each other since you were little?”

 

“We had a double wedding when we were kids,” Ell said, unable to stop the little smile, “Laura proposed to me with a ring she found in a cereal box. LaFontaine thought it was a great idea so they and Perry joined us by the swings.”

 

“Yeah, but then I left her for this nerd,” LaFontaine teased, punching JP lightly in the shoulder.

 

“I’m still waiting on the annulment,” JP joked.

 

“So, Ell,” Laura whispered, leaning in as Danny sat down on the other side of them, _“Friends?”_

 

“Yes, Laura. Friends. Just. Friends. The Palliest of Gals.”

 

Laura rolled her eyes and went back to her fluffernutter sandwich. Danny jumped quickly into striking up a conversation with the rest of the group, holding her own--not that Ell was surprised. Who didn’t like Danny?

 

(Unless you were Carmilla and hated _everyone_ except for one person.)

 

They were laughing at some story Ell could vaguely tell involved Jill, Aidan, Danny, and a blender (Ell was too busy thinking about how disappointing it was that Danny’s hair was in a braid to pay too much attention) when the bell rang.

 

“Oh man, I have to go. See you guys! This was awesome.”

 

“Totally,” Laf said, “You’re welcome back anytime.”

 

“Cool,” Danny looked at Ell, “So I’m not embarrassing you if I sit here, right?”

 

“Not at all! We should all sit in the courtyard sometimes, too. Since you like being outside.”

 

Danny considered it for a moment before telling her, “I actually like that being an us thing.”

 

She walked away before Ell could react. The others grinned at Ell.

 

“Oh no, not _you guys_ too,” Ell groaned.

 

“We like her better than Carmilla,” LaFontaine answered.

 

“Hey!”

 

“We don’t _dislike_ her, Laura, but you have to admit Danny is friendlier.”

 

“Speak for yourselves,” JP grumbled, “Carmilla keeps making British jokes. Danny is far more pleasant.”

 

“Guys. I told Laura. We are just friends.”

 

“Yeah, for now,” LaFontaine answered, wiggling their eyebrows. Everyone else laughed.

 

“...Yeah, I’m definitely eating in the courtyard from now on.”

 

“With _Danny.”_

 

“Seriously, Perry?”

 

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

 

“Goodbye guys!”

 

They dispersed. Ell turned to go when Laura grabbed her by the arm.

 

“Ell, wait. I…” She took a breath, “I’m really glad you’re sitting with us again. We all really missed you.”

 

“...Thanks. See you at rehearsal.”

 

Laura bit her lip, but let Ell go, waving her off as she went.

 

Ell sighed, trying not to dwell on her friends too much.  Of course, that only led to her thinking about Danny and what Danny had said.

 

She really liked the idea of outside being just for _them._  Like the flashlight thing she shared with Laura.  Or the baking time she shared with Perry.  Except...more.  Because Ell wanted it to mean more.  Her friends were really getting in her head.  And all of them--all of them!--seemed to have picked up on Ell’s crush on Danny.

 

Oh god.  If they could all tell after only a few minutes, did that mean Danny knew too?

 

And if Danny knew, was not mentioning it her way of letting her down gently? Rather than upset Ell, it actually made her feel a little better. Danny valued their friendship. She wanted to be friends even if she knew about her crush. Assuming she did know.

 

Ell’s musing was interrupted by the buzz of her phone.

 

 _Benedict Arn-L:_ forgot 2 ask during lunch, but are u guys free for practice??

 

 _???:_ Cupcake, don’t you have class right now?

 

Ell winced.  She’d forgotten that she’d deleted Carmilla’s number.  With a sigh, she added Carmilla back into her contacts.

 

 _Benedict Arn-L:_ ms cochrane hasn’t started yet!

 

 _Danny:_ I could practice.  I need to check on my little sibs first though :\

 

 _Ell:_ Yes probably.  You do know where I live

 

 _Benedict Arn-L:_ LOL that’s true

 

 _Benedict Arn- L:_ so like… 5?  ish?

 

 _She-who-must-not-be-named:_ Fine by me.  Obviously.

 

 _Danny:_ Works for me! :D

 

 _Ell:_ Yes, okay, fine.

  
Ell sighed. She should focus on more important things. Like the history test she was totally about to fail.


	8. Chapter 8

“Okay guys--one two three four!”

 

They burst into the music again, working together like a well oiled machine. The last few rehearsals they had been fantastic; Ell was starting to think that maybe they had a shot of winning this Battle of the Bands thing.

 

Even Carmilla had cooled down, somewhat. She and Danny actually talked once and awhile without biting each others’ heads off. Once Ell had even walked down to rehearsal and saw Carmilla and Danny already playing.

 

“Hey guys?”

 

“Oh, hey Ell!” Danny said, stopping. Carmilla still had her eyes closed for a moment before opening them. “Carmilla and I were just jamming while we waited for Laura to get up.”

 

“She says it is a criminal offense to wake her before ten on a Saturday,” Carmilla added, grabbing a wipe and meticulously cleaning the strings of her guitar, “So I figured since Red and I had nothing better to do we’d try some improv.”

 

“You both? Friends?”

 

“Fuck no,” Carmilla answered immediately, “This is just practice. Red isn’t bad. From a purely objective standpoint.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Ell looked back and forth between the two of them and decided to shrug it off.  If they weren’t fighting (really, if Carmilla wasn’t picking on Danny), that was good enough for her.

 

About a half an hour into practice, Mr. Hollis popped in.  

 

“Are you girls doing okay?  Do you need anything?”

 

“No, we’re good Jim,” Ell responded, absent-mindedly.

 

His face lit up.  “It’s good to see you Ell!  We’ve missed you around the house.  You should stop by for dinner so we can catch up!”

 

“Oh.  Sure thing,” Ell said, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly.

 

“Great!  Well if you guys don’t need anything else, I’ll leave you to it!”  With a wave, he re-entered the house.

 

Laura grinned at Ell.  “You’re coming to dinner?”

 

Ell shrugged a little helplessly.  “I-it seems so?”

 

“Awesome!  It’ll be just like old times!  We can even see if we can convince Dad to let us eat in front of the tv!”

 

Ell couldn’t help herself.  She laughed.  “Laura, I’m pretty sure of every time we asked him, he let us do that maybe _twice_.”

 

Laura waved her hand dismissively.  “So that still means it’s possible!  Besides, it’s tradition.”

 

Ell rolled her eyes, but didn’t disagree.

 

After playing through the song a few more times, Danny had to go check in on her siblings so they called it for the day.

 

Ell packed her piano and turned to Laura who was whispering to Carmilla in the corner.

 

“Do you have dinner plans?  You can always come eat with us.”

 

Carmilla raised an eyebrow.  “Sounds like you already have plans cupcake.  Don’t want to intrude or whatever.”

 

“It’d be fine!” Laura insisted.

 

Carmilla leaned in to give Laura a deep kiss.  When she pulled back, Laura looked more than a little dazed.

 

“Have fun at dinner creampuff.” She said, snagging her guitar and walking out.

 

“Yeah thanks,” Laura said, before her eyes snapped back into focus.  “UGH, again?!”

 

Ell, sensing the coast was finally clear, walked towards Laura, who was still staring aggravatedly at the way Carmilla had gone.

 

“She always does this,” Laura muttered, “kiss me senseless to win the argument.”

 

“She’s pretty good at that,” Ell agreed dryly. She wasn’t exactly upset that Carmilla wasn’t joining them.

 

Laura sighed, pushing open the door.  Mr. Hollis was already standing in the kitchen waiting for them.

 

He turned and grinned.  “My favorite two ladies!”

 

He turned off the sink and ushered them into the dining hall, ignoring Laura’s pleas to eat in the living room.

 

It was like nothing had changed.

 

The days rolled on pretty quickly.  As the band began gelling together, it felt like everything else in Ell’s life fell into place.  She was back at the lunch table and no longer awkwardly avoiding her friends.  Her mornings were filled with meeting up in the practice rooms with Danny.  Her evenings were filled with band practice and hanging out with Danny.  Danny was really becoming a pretty permanent fixture in her life.

 

And even though she didn’t have an emergency panic like the one she first broke her flashlight stalemate with Laura for, it was nice knowing she had her best friend to go to for that too.

 

If anything, Laura was more invested in her relationship with Danny than Ell was.  Laura was constantly pestering Ell about the state of their relationship and manufacturing ways for her and Danny to be alone.  The number of days that Laura and Carmilla would make a quick getaway after band practice seemed to increase exponentially as the days went by.

 

Not that they weren’t going to hang out afterward anyway--she would go over to Ell’s, or Ell would go over to Danny’s. The ‘kissa-geddon’, as Carmilla mockingly referred to it, proved to not actually be a disaster. Neither of them had brought it up since Ell had skirted around it in the courtyard.

 

“You would be good, you know,” Ell said, playing a tune while Danny did homework on the couch in Ell’s living room.

 

“At what?”

 

“Piano. Your fingers are long. You have piano playing hands.”

 

“Eh, I don’t know. I like banging things.”

 

Ell laughed. “Alright, you aren’t precise enough for piano, I get it.”

 

Danny looked from her textbook. “What, you don’t think I have to be precise to play drums?”

 

“Well, you have to admit piano requires a slight bit of a softer touch.”

 

“Fine, show me then.”

 

Danny got up. She sat next to Ell on the piano bench. “Teach me something.”

 

“Okay,” Ell got up. She sat down on the couch. “Can you read music?”

 

“Yeah, I can read. And I think I tried to learn once and gave up because I was bored. So my hands go here, right?”

 

“Yes, that’s right.”

 

Ell watched Danny with a small smile as she flipped to the beginning of the practice book and attempted to play one of the beginner pieces. Ell shook her head.

 

“You’re doing it wrong.”

 

“I could tell, since it sounds awful.” Danny answered with a frown.

 

“You have to curve your hands when you play,” Ell answered. She got up. Ell stood behind Danny and placed her hands over the drummer’s, gently curving her fingers.

 

“See? Your hands should be curved. Like that.”

 

Danny looked at Ell out of the corner of her eye. “...Yeah. Yeah, I can tell.”

 

“Good.” They stared at each other. Ell noticed that Danny’s eyes were the same shade of blue as her own.

 

“Try again,” Ell said, clearing her throat and letting go. Danny turned back and did it. Ell clapped lightly.

 

“That sounded much better, Danny!”

 

“Yeah. We should celebrate, I can play ‘Mary had a little lamb’ like a pro.”

 

“Oh, hush,” Ell answered as Danny got up, “You need to practice. Then you’ll get better. You can’t be perfect all the time, Danny.”

 

“...You think I’m perfect?” Danny mused. Ell’s eyes widened. She’d let her guard down. She backtracked.

 

“ _Almost_ perfect.” Ell looked at the clock above the piano, “Um, you should probably go. It’s getting kind of late.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Danny gripped the doorknob. She turned. “And Ell?”

 

“Yes?”

 

For a moment Danny seemed to be at war with herself. She bit her lip, closed her eyes,  and looked down at the floor.

 

“Danny, what’s wrong?”

 

She looked up, letting out the breath she had been holding. “I’m not perfect.”

 

“I know,” Ell answered, trying to lighten the odd tension that had suddenly filled the room, “I just said--”

 

Her breath caught in her throat when Danny walked forward.

 

“ _You are.”_

 

Before Ell even registered what was happening her face was in Danny’s hands--Danny’s hands that were rough and calloused and yet the softest things Ell had ever felt--and Danny pressed their lips together.

 

Ell had kissed precisely three other girls before. The first was Laura in eighth grade, who didn’t count at all. The second was a girl at a party freshman year during a game of spin the bottle. Ell didn’t know her name, but she _did_ make Ell absolutely certain she was gay.

 

The third was Carmilla. And kissing Carmilla was kissing woodsmoke and chocolate and cigarettes all at once. It should have been awful, but it had been addicting. It kept Ell coming back even when, honestly, they should have broken up before they did. It was what still kept Ell up sometimes wishing things had gone differently even though she knew they would have been doomed either way.

 

But Danny’s lips were like a magnet passing over a computer, instantly wiping away all of those memories. Carmilla didn’t matter. Laura didn’t matter. _Nothing else_ mattered. Danny only kissed her for a second before pulling away.

 

“...Please tell me I didn’t just make the biggest mistake of my life,” Danny said.

 

Ell honestly couldn’t answer for a moment. She was trying to hold onto everything she could remember from that brief kiss; Danny used watermelon flavored chapstick. Her lips were softer than Carmilla’s. She really _really_ wanted to kiss her again. That was the most important one.

 

“ _Ell?”_

 

She looked upset. Why did she look upset?

 

Wait. Ell was frozen. She hadn’t said--or done--anything.

 

She finally managed to choke out, “ _Wow.”_

 

A warm smile spread across Danny’s face. Ell felt like her entire body was lighting up from the inside.

 

“Glad to hear that,” she said.

 

“Less talking more kissing,” Ell said, gaining confidence. Danny grabbed her again.  This time Ell leaned up to meet her, tilting her head to allow them to press closer.  

 

Danny sighed into the kiss, all languid movements and careful touches.  All traces of earlier hesitance were gone as they moved together.

 

If Carmilla had been an addiction, then Danny was a sort of sobriety.  Something that felt healthy and hard-earned.  Something that Ell hoped to keep.  If this was the new Ell, then she hoped she never relapsed.

 

Danny’s hands ghosted down her sides, fingers tracing invisible patterns down her skin.  What had Ell said about Danny’s fingers before?  She took it all back.  Danny’s fingers felt _wonderful_.

 

Ell was suddenly aware of her own lack of movement.  Her hands dangled uselessly at her sides when really they could be doing anything else.  Tentatively, Ell reached up and let her hands tangle in Danny’s hair.  She hummed appreciatively.  What conditioner did Danny use?  Her hair was so soft.

 

Ell cut herself off from those thoughts when Danny captured her top lip and sucked lightly.  What had she been thinking about?  Clearly it wasn’t important.

 

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” Danny breathed when she was forced to break for air.

 

“Well, it had to have been around a month or less,” Ell answered without stopping herself, then realized how idiotic she was being. Why couldn’t she just shut up and kiss...whatever Danny was now?

 

“Since we met,” Danny answered, kissing Ell again, her hands settling on Ell’s hips and gently rubbing in circles. “Even before that, honestly. I kept thinking ‘who is that cute girl that’s always playing piano after I leave?’”

 

Ell opened her eyes more fully, gaping at Danny.  “Really?”

 

Danny blushed a little, smiling.  “Yeah.  I was totally into you.”

 

“I… I had no idea.”

 

Danny raised an eyebrow, laughing a little.  “I wasn’t exactly subtle Ell.  I was flirting with you pretty much from the moment we first spoke.”

 

“...I thought you were just being nice!”

 

“Seriously, Ell, since when is it ‘just nice’ to invite you over to my house after knowing you for a few days? When my parents weren’t home? _And_ made you dinner?”

 

“Your siblings were home, and it was peanut butter sandwiches, it wasn’t exactly candlelit.”

 

“I was working with what I had,” Danny grumbled, “I can’t cook, alright?”

 

Ell smiled, kissing Danny. “I thought it was perfect, to be honest. And to be fair to me, I _did_ kiss you on the cheek that night.”

 

“Yeah and then you sent me that angry text.  I didn’t know what to think.”

 

“How was that _angry?_ I used correct grammar. I even wrote ‘you’re great’. You’re the one that took it the wrong way.”

 

Danny leaned in, brushing her nose past Ell’s.  “Mmm.  You know what this conversation needs?  Less talking and more kissing.  Just because I know you’ll let me now.”

 

“If we’re not talking then it’s not a--you know what I’ll stop.”

 

Ell kissed Danny. Kissing wasn’t as nerve wracking as she thought; she’d kissed Carmilla often enough that she was fairly certain that she was, at the very least, not going to do anything unpleasant. So she allowed herself to stop thinking for just a moment, brushing her thumb across Danny’s cheek as she gently grabbed her bottom lip in her teeth.

Ell could vaguely hear that the clock was making a little chime signaling that it was ten o’clock and her parents would be home soon. Danny looked like she was about to pull away. Ell only kissed her harder, until Danny relaxed again. She was _not_ leaving. Ell was still half convinced she was dreaming, anyway. Who cares if they got caught?

 

“God, Laura and Carmilla are going to be annoying,” Danny said, smiling into Ell’s kiss.

 

And Danny’s words gave Ell a punch to the gut.

 

_Laura. Carmilla. Ell’s past with both of them._ Ell had kept telling herself that, if by some miracle they were dating, she’d come clean.

 

Now Ell realized that it was the _worst possible time_ to do that.

 

_Hey, girlfriend! Have I mentioned I’ve been lying to you this entire time? You’ve been helping my ex! Surprise! Funny story how she became my ex…_

 

Ell shook her head. _No._ Not now. Not ever, if she could help it. But definitely not now.

 

“Let’s not tell them!” Ell squeaked.

 

“...What?” Danny frowned, “Why?”

 

“I...I just...you know, I-- _we_ have waited so long for this,” Ell said, “Can’t we keep it to ourselves for a bit? You’re right, they will not stop making their little comments.”

 

Danny looked unsure; Ell pressed their foreheads together, breaths mingling. Ell’s hands went to Danny’s waist, gently swaying back and forth. Almost like they were at a middle school dance.

 

“I want to enjoy you for a bit,” Ell said, “Just us, you know? Without all of those... _distractions.”_

 

At that, Danny grinned. “Well, I can’t argue with that. We can wait until the Battle of the Bands is over, right? That way at least we don’t have to deal with Carmilla as much.”

 

“Uh...yeah. Yeah.”

 

Danny ran a hand through her hair. “Yeah, I definitely need to go. It’s already past Aidan and Jill’s bedtimes. They usually don’t go to sleep unless I read to them. So Ma is going to have a rough go of it unless I’m there.”

 

She wrapped her arms around Ell, laying a kiss to her hair. “I’ll see you tomorrow. _God,_ I cannot believe you are my girlfriend. I seriously cannot believe it.”

 

Ell should feel guilty. She was now lying to not just Danny, but to Laura and Carmilla. But with Danny holding her, Ell didn’t care.

 

“Goodnight. I’ll see you.”

 

Reluctantly, Danny let go and walked out. She stood on the sidewalk and waved goodbye. Ell did too. She leaned against the door and took a shaky breath.

 

“What just happened--and oh my God she called me her _girlfriend._ ”

 

Ell was dating Danny Lawrence. Good. _Very_ good.

 

Ell was entangled in a web of lies involving her two favorite people in the world and her worst enemy. Bad. _Very_ bad.

  
She sunk to the floor, head in her hands. “What do I do, what do I do, what do I _do…”_

 


	9. Chapter 9

Ell’s thought process went something like this: 

 

_ You have to tell her.  _

 

_ But...but...I AM DATING HER.  _

 

_ That’s WHY you have to tell her.  _

 

_ But that is why I can’t let her break up with me! _

 

_ This is wrong and you are a horrible person and a hypocrite.  _

 

_ She is a really, really good kisser and if I do this the kissing will stop.  _

 

_...Alright maybe you can wait a little bit but YOU NEED TO EVENTUALLY. _

 

Which was true.  _ Eventually.  _ Like when they got married. That was it. Ell would  _ never  _ marry Danny without telling her about Carmilla. That seemed like a good boundary.  Or, you know.  When they had a kid on the way.  Danny wouldn’t divorce her if they had a kid on the way, right? 

 

Besides,  Ell thought, walking into the band room the next day, waiting for Danny,  _ This could still totally be a dream. She could walk in here like nothing happened, and that was just a really awesome, vivid dream-- _

 

“Hey Ell.” 

 

Ell turned to look at Danny. She closed the door behind her, and Ell was about to ask her how she was doing when Danny pulled her in by the waist and  wow  that was Danny’s tongue in her mouth and  _ wow  _ Ell was at least ninety-nine percent certain none of this had been a dream. 

 

“...Good morning to you too?” Ell said, holding her head, slightly out of breath. Danny just grinned down at her. 

 

“Fantastic morning. Almost as good as last night.” 

 

Ell looked at Danny’s wolfish smile. “Well someone seems a little smug?” 

 

“I totally got my crush to date me. Why wouldn’t I be a little smug?” 

 

“You said girlfriend, not me.” 

 

Danny frowned. “Do you want to be--” 

 

“OF COURSE I DO.” 

 

Danny laughed and tugged Ell back in for another kiss.  She pulled back after a second, long enough to whisper across Ell’s lips, “girlfriends.  I like the sound of that.”

 

“I was afraid that last night was a dream,” Ell admitted. 

 

“A dream come true, maybe.” 

 

Ell laughed.  “Yes exactly.”

 

They spent the entirety of the time Danny normally practiced the drums making out.  If this is what happened when they were in the practice room together now, Ell was going to find as many excuses to “practice” as possible.  Would it be too much now that she was back at the lunch table to start ditching them again in favor of “practicing”?  On the one hand, she felt bad.  On the other hand, she got to make out with Danny Lawrence.

 

When Danny reluctantly pulled away, checking the clock and frowning because she needed to go to class, Ell found she didn’t want the moment to end.

 

“Goonadatewithme?” she blurted out.

 

Danny’s forehead creased.  “What was that?”

 

Ell forced her heart rate to slow and her tongue to untie itself.  Why was she so nervous?  Danny was already her girlfriend.  She’d literally just had her tongue in Ell’s mouth.

 

“Go on a date with me Danny.”

 

Danny shot her a blinding grin.  “Of course.”

 

Ell found her matching Danny’s grin until they were a couple of grinning idiots, just staring at each other.

 

“Great!” she squeaked out, “um I’ll come get you around seven?”

 

“Sounds perfect,” Danny murmured, leaning forward to give her another quick peck, before waving to leave for class.

 

As soon as Danny left and the Danny-jitters (jitters she got from being in Danny’s presence) dissipated, Ell groaned.  She hadn’t thought that through.  What was she going to do for their date?

 

She couldn’t even go to Laura and freak out about it with her. In fact, she couldn’t ask  _ anyone  _ what to do. Ell was, officially, on her own. 

 

It didn’t stop Ell from trying though. 

 

“Um...Perry?” Ell asked, sliding into her seat for homeroom. 

 

“Good morning Ell,” Perry said, holding out a plastic bag. “Brownie? I baked some last night.” 

 

“Thanks,” Ell grabbed one, “Hey, Perr, can I ask you something completely hypothetical?” 

 

Perry shrugged. “Sure.” 

 

“Let’s say I have a friend. We will call her...um...Bell.”

 

Perry nodded. 

 

“And, recently, they got a girlfriend. Whose name is...Penny?” 

 

“Bell and Penny. Okay.” Perry answered with a straight face. Ell could not tell if she was being sarcastic or not. 

 

“Bell has to plan a date for Penny. She is very nervous. What do you suggest Bell do for a first date?” 

 

For a long moment Perry said nothing. And then, “...Who is planning again?” 

 

_ “ Nevermind,”  _ Ell answered, chewing on her brownie. 

 

What had Laura said the first time Ell had to plan a date for Carmilla? 

 

_ Don’t freak out Ell, just do something you both like! _

 

Making out for two hours on Danny’s couch didn’t seem like much of a date though. They would have been doing that anyway. 

 

They both liked playing music. But they did that all the time, too. Ell needed to do something  special.  Because Danny was special. 

 

And then Ell got an idea.  A crazy idea.  One that might have Danny laughing at her for its cheesiness.  But Ell didn’t have any better ideas.  And she didn’t have time to think of new ones.  And Danny liked her cheesiness, right?  Maybe?

 

Ell took a deep breath and decided to go for it.  Danny was already dating her.  What did she have to lose?

*

 

Her hand was literally shaking when she raised it to knock on Danny’s door. 

 

It was fine. This would be fine. It was incredibly cheesy but Ell had never heard of anyone dumping their girlfriend because their romantic gesture was  too  sappy. 

 

Unless this was a little much on a first date? 

 

Well, Ell wasn’t going to worry about it now. She knocked on the door, waiting for Danny--

 

And got a different woman instead. 

 

“Hello. Can I help you?” 

 

Oh God. 

 

Danny’s  _ mother.  _

 

She looked like Danny, with the same blue eyes and red hair, cut short so it curled just above her shoulders. 

 

“I--I--” Ell cleared her throat, “I go to school and I live on the next block over. Your daughter and I--” 

 

“ _ Oh.  _ Danny!” She turned and shouted, “That girl you’re always talking about is here to see you!” 

 

She turned and smiled at Ell. “It is so nice for Danny to have made a friend. She told me you introduced her to some of yours, too?” 

 

“Uh...yeah. They all love her. Unsurprisingly.” 

 

“Great. I was getting a little worried about her--she was so depressed about the move. Thank you for getting her out of her shell a bit.” 

 

Ell shook her head, smiling nervously, hiding her hands behind her back. 

 

There was a shuffling movement and Danny appeared at the top of the stairs, slightly breathless.  

 

“Sorry, sorry.  Aidan needed help with something.”

 

“No worries dear,” Mrs. Lawrence smiled up at Danny, “I was just talking to your friend here.”

 

Danny groaned, “don’t believe anything she tells you.”

 

“So you don’t constantly talk about your ‘awesome friend Ell’--” 

 

“Ma!” 

 

Ell couldn’t help but choke back a snort, Danny raising her eyebrow at her. 

 

“Are you ready to go, Danny?” 

 

“Yeah. Ma, me and Ell made plans to hang out tonight.” 

 

“That makes every night this week. At this point I’d be surprised if you didn’t.” 

 

_ “ Anyway,  _ I’ll see you later,” Danny mumbled, grabbing Ell and pulling her out. 

 

“I like your mother,” Ell said. 

 

“I  _ usually _ like her,” Danny grumbled, “when she’s not out to embarrass me.”

 

Ell tilted her head, looking up at Danny.  “What was it she said that was so embarrassing?”

 

Danny coughed lightly, rubbing her neck.  “Nothing.  Just--nothing.”  She coughed again and then re-focused.  “So where are we going?”

 

Ell swallowed down some nerves.

 

“Um… my house.”

 

“Why Miss Schraeder.  How very forward of you.” Danny smirked.

 

“Shut up,” Ell said, slapping Danny’s arm slightly.  “I’m not… I wouldn’t… it’s not that kind of date!”

 

Danny snickered, leaning closer to Ell.  “So you’re saying you don’t want to  _ netflix and chill ?” _

 

“Oh.”  Ell blinked.  That was a tamer suggestion than she’d anticipated. “You want to just sit on the couch and watch netflix?  I mean I guess we could…”

 

Danny stared at her for a long second, searching her face.  And then she laughed.  “That is  _ not _ what that means.”

 

“Then what...?”

 

Danny leaned over, whispering in Ell’s ear for a moment.

 

Ell immediately went bright red.

 

“Danny Lawrence!  I am not that type of girl!” she huffed.  “And certainly not on a first date.”

 

Danny laughed again.  “I was just kidding Ell.  No seriously, what are we doing?”

 

“Surprise,” Ell said, looking away from Danny and biting her lip. 

 

“You’re not even going to tell me what we’re doing…?” 

 

“You’ll find out pretty quickly, if that helps?” Ell answered, looking back with a small smile. 

 

“You are lucky you’re cute, Ells.” 

 

Ell grinned.  “I like when you call me that.”

 

“What?  Your name?”  

 

“No.  Ells.  With an s.”  Ell laced her fingers with Danny’s and squeezed.  “It’s nice.  I’ve never really had a nickname based on my name because my name is so short.  Sometimes Laura and I were L squared.  But that was shared.  It wasn’t really  _ mine _ _._  Carmilla calls me cinnabon, but that has nothing to do with my name.  And I just like the fact that you have one for me?”

 

“Do you have one for me, then?” Danny asked. 

 

“You? Um…” Ell’s brow furrowed as she considered the question. “Does ‘cute drummer girl’ count? Because that was your name in my head for awhile.” 

 

Danny smirked.  “You think I’m cute?”

 

Ell blushed even as she nudged Danny with her shoulder. “I thought we established this?  I had a very obvious crush on you?”

 

“I know, I just like hearing you say it.” 

 

“You are so smug sometimes.” 

 

Danny shrugged her shoulders with a lopsided smile that Ell couldn’t help but reward with a kiss on the cheek--after checking to make sure Laura wasn’t outside her house, of course. 

 

“Okay. Before we go in you need to promise not to laugh at me,” Ell said when they stood on her porch. 

 

“Why?” 

 

“Just--just  _ promise _ ,  okay? Or at least wait until afterward to laugh. But don’t laugh in the middle of it.” 

 

She looked confused, but nodded. “Fine. I promise I won’t laugh Ell.” 

 

“Good.” Ell bit her lip and gripped the doorknob tightly. “Here it is. My attempt at a romantic first date.” 

 

She opened the door, looking away from Danny as she stepped inside. Danny joined her, and as soon as the door was closed she clasped the hand Ell had dangling at her side. 

 

_ “ Whoa.  _ This is...whoa.” 

 

Her living room had a big oak chest in the middle. It was filled with photo albums and other knicknacks. The tablecloth was thrown over that. On top of the tablecloth Ell had set two plates, chairs, and candles. 

 

Electric, of course. Ell did  _ not  _ trust herself. 

 

“Do you like it…?” 

 

“Love it. One question though. Why didn’t you just set the food up in the kitchen?” 

 

“Sit down and I’ll show you,” Ell answered, nudging Danny gently. She shook her head with a smile and sat down.

 

She whirled into the kitchen and brought out two plates of pasta.  She gave Danny a sheepish shrug.

 

“I wasn’t sure if you had any dietary restrictions, but this seemed safe?”

 

Danny smiled, taking a sniff.  “It’s perfect.”

 

“Great.”  Ell remained standing, hands clasped behind her back.

 

“Um… Ell?  Aren’t you going to sit down?”

 

Ell rocked back on her heels.  “So.  That’s the other part of the surprise.  Just… you promised not to laugh.  Remember that.”

 

Danny gave her a solemn nod, even as she quirked her eyebrow.

 

Ell took a deep breath and went to the piano, lifting the cover and getting settled.  She curved her hands over the keys as she mentally went over the chords.  And then all too soon she was starting.

 

_ “I don’t know but I think I may be fallin’ for you…” _

 

Ell winced at the sound of her voice.  She hazarded a quick glance at Danny who seemed to be enraptured by her playing.  If Danny was just acting, she should get an Oscar.

 

Ell closed her eyes to focus on the song again, letting the melody drift out of her fingers.

 

_ “I’ve been spending all my time just thinking ‘bout you.  I don’t know what to do.  I think I’m falling for you...” _

 

She threw all of the things she’d been feeling about Danny these past few weeks into the song.  All of the nervousness.  All of the obsessing over every detail of their interactions.  All of the ways Danny made her heart beat faster.  

 

_ “I’ve been waiting all my life and now I found you…” _

 

She found herself getting swept up in the song as she softly swayed as she sang, eyes still sealed tightly shut.  She wasn’t a poet, but she hoped that Colbie said it for her.  Because as crazy as it was, it was true.  

 

Ell finished, taking a shaky breath, too nervous to turn around yet. “So. I know my voice isn’t exactly the best, so I totally understand if you want to laugh.” 

 

She turned her head, “But if you appreciate the sentiment at least--” 

 

Ell realized she was now face to face with Danny, who had gotten up. She leaned down, tilting Ell’s chin up so their foreheads were pressed together. 

  
“That. Was.  _ Adorable.”  _ She kissed Ell softly, “And really sweet. So pretty much the best possible gift I could have gotten from you.” 

 

Ell blinked up at Danny.  Wow.  She didn’t think she’d ever get used to kissing her.  She hoped she never did.  The tingling feeling racing up her spine at Danny’s touch felt  _ amazing . _

 

“So,” she breathed, “you liked it then?”

 

“Liked it?”  Danny stared at her, before letting a grin crack her face wide open, “I  _ loved _ it.”

 

Ell leaned up to kiss Danny again and they met in the middle, two people moving in harmony.  Not quite twins.  But perfect complements.  Alto and soprano.  Root and Perfect Fifth.  Treble and bass.  

 

“Danny?” Ell breathed. 

 

“Yes?” Danny asked, pulling Ell up to stand. 

 

She bit her lip, clutching at the blue baseball jacket Danny was wearing. “You would...well...you would like me no matter what, right?” 

 

“Of course I would.” 

 

“Then--I--” 

 

Danny’s lips went down to Ell’s neck, gently nibbling the skin there, and Ell completely forgot what she was saying. 

 

“Yes?” Danny hummed into neck. 

 

Ell couldn’t even answer, she was so blissed out. Her face was buried in Danny’s shoulder, breathing heavily. Danny moved to the crook of her neck, gently suckling on her skin. 

 

“N-not important,” Ell finally managed to choke out, tangling her hand in Danny’s hair, lightly tugging on her scalp. 

 

“I never thought it was possible for a girl’s  _ neck  _ to get me this turned on,” Danny said, pulling away and kissing Ell quickly. “You are awesome, you know that?” 

 

“You think  _ I’m _ the awesome one?  You’re the one doing all the wor-- _ oh _ _.”_  Danny hit a particularly sensitive point and Ell stuttered.  “You… are making me lose my train of thought.”

 

Danny laughed.  “Then I must be doing something right.  Take a pretty girl’s breath away.  Make her forget what she’s thinking.  Those were pretty much my goals for the day.”

 

Danny’s smirk was a little smug and Ell couldn’t help but lean up and kiss her to wipe that expression off her face.

 

“Remind to-- _ ah _ \--return the favor when I can think.” 

 

“Noted.” Danny placed a few more kisses to the crook of Ell’s neck before reluctantly pulling away. “But you made all this food for us and it’d be a shame to let it get cold, you know?” 

 

Ell blinked.  “Right.  Food.  Right.”

 

Danny laughed before gesturing for Ell to take a seat.  Ell flushed.  This was her date.  Shouldn’t she be the one doing that?

 

She sat, smiling at Danny.  Well.  This date had already exceeded her wildest expectations.  She could only hope that Danny felt the same.

 

“I’m pretty mad at you, Ell.” 

 

Wait wait,  _ what?  _

 

Ell paled. “I am so sorry I swear I will never do it again--” 

 

Danny covered her mouth, the slight crinkling at the corner of her eyes giving away that she was trying not to laugh. “ _ Because  _ now you set the bar so high I am going to need to step up my romance game if I want to keep up with you.” 

 

“Oh. Well.” Ell took a spoonful of pasta, trying to figure out what to say. “...How about this. I will do the romantic dates. You can focus on being a fantastic kisser.” 

 

Danny shot her a roguish smirk.  “You’re not too bad a kisser yourself.  I don’t know where you learned to kiss like that, but I am so glad I get you to myself now.”

 

Ell paled a little bit.  Carmilla.  Again.  Even in the evening light of a perfect date with Danny, her ex still hung overhead.

 

Danny seemed to notice her discomfort.  “Oh shit sorry.  I didn’t mean--bad form to bring up the exes on a first date.  Sorry.  We don’t have to talk about that. Um.  What song do you think we’re going to play for the competition?”

 

Still involving Carmilla, but Ell could focus on the music part, at least. “I’m not sure. I really like 27, and I think that’s Carmilla’s favorite, but I’m just afraid it’s a little too mellowed compared to all the other rock bands we’re probably facing. The poster had a  _ lot  _ of exclamation points.” 

 

“ _ Ugh _ ,  27\. I hate that one. I mean, it’s a good song, but the drums are so boring. Even after we made her speed it up a little.” 

 

“She keeps saying they like original songs more though. You know, the judges.” 

 

“Yeah, but...man, I cannot wait for this to be over. I mean I’m glad I’m helping Carmilla out of a bad situation, I don’t hate her, but it has been kind of stressful to deal with her  _ broodiness.” _

 

“Believe me, she’s a lot softer than she seems. I mean, have you seen how she is with Laura?” 

 

“They are disgusting,” Danny agreed, “Promise me after we’re finished with this competition we can make out in front of them. You know, as payback.” 

 

Ell gulped.  Did that mean she would have to tell Danny about Laura and Carmilla?  That she would have to tell Laura and Carmilla about Danny?  She knew she would not be able to keep the secret forever.  Ell wasn’t great at keeping secrets in general and she was up against the two people in the world who could most easily tell when she was lying.  Her ex and her best friend.  

 

“Right,” she said after a moment, “totally.  Payback.”

 

“Awesome,” Danny said, fist pumping. Ell laughed. 

 

“You seem a little too excited at the thought of making out in public.” 

 

“You mean at the thought of seeing all the people who are totally jealous of me.” 

 

“We are going to be so much cuter than them, though.” 

 

“You  _ know  _ we are. We are going to be the power couple of Cromwell Academy.” 

 

Talking about the future was an odd mix of dread and excitement. Danny wanted to be with her. She was expecting to stay with her. Maybe they could survive the inevitable other shoe dropping. She reached out and grabbed Danny’s hand, lacing their fingers together. 

 

“I like you more than anyone,” Ell said. It wasn’t an answer, but it felt appropriate. 

 

“I like you too,” Danny answered simply. And for some reason that meant more than all of the kissing and the compliments and the cuddling. 

 

The food was finished, the plates cleared, and Ell stood at the front door, hands clasped behind her back. 

 

“Good first date?” 

 

“ _ Great _ first date.”  Danny tucked a hair behind Ell’s ear and gave her a quick kiss.  “When is it my turn?”

 

“Sorry?”

 

“When are you free so I can take you out?” Danny clarified.

 

“Oh!  Uh…” Ell thought about it.  “I have a test on Thursday so either Thursday or Friday?  I mean.  If you don’t think that’s too soon.”

 

“If anything that’s too far away.” Danny answered. She leaned in to kiss Ell quickly, “I can’t wait.” 

 

“Danny,” Ell said with a small laugh, “We will see each other tomorrow in the morning and probably do nothing but make out again.” 

 

“So you’re saying you  _ can  _ wait?” 

 

“...Let’s not make assumptions.” 

 

Danny smirked, leaning in for a kiss.  She stopped just before she reached Ell’s lips and Ell whined, leaning forward a little.  Danny pulled back.

 

“Danny wha--?”

 

“Go out with me.”

 

The look of confusion on Ell’s face did not diminish.  “I… already am?  We’re dating.  Remember?”

 

Danny’s smirk grew.  “Go out with me  _ tomorrow _ _._  On a date.”

 

“Are you sure that’s enough time to figure out how to ‘step up your game?’” Ell answered, trying to force herself to be more comfortable around Danny. They were dating. It would not be the end of the world if Ell said something awkward. Right? 

 

“I don’t know,” Danny frowned.  “But I guess we’ll find out?”

 

Ell tapped Danny lightly on the nose.  “Well I serenaded you for our first date.  Can you do better than that?”

 

Danny’s eyes took on a wicked gleam.  “Well I’m absolutely going to try.  Just wait Ell.  I’m going to blow your mind.”

 

Ell scoffed lightly.  “Good luck with that.”

 

Danny smirked and then leaned in for another kiss.  “You’ll see Ells.  You’ll see.”

 

She finally walked out, Ell turning away from the door with a huge, goofy grin. 

 

“I really wish I could flashlight Laura about this,” Ell said to herself, heading into the bathroom to brush her teeth and prepare for bed, “It is like we have been dating for  years.  I am--” 

 

Ell looked at herself in the mirror. And zeroed in on the small purple bruise on her neck. She slapped her hand to the spot with wide eyes. 

 

“ \-- _ Utterly screwed. _ I am utterly screwed.” 


	10. Chapter 10

Ell spent an inordinate amount of time the next morning trying to conceal the hickey.  Unfortunately, makeup had never been her strong suit. Normally when she had a makeup question, she went to Laura, but that would lead to more questions than answers.

 

Ell winced as she slathered more makeup on and hoped it wasn’t too noticeable.  In the harsh bathroom light, it still seemed pretty visible to her, but maybe if no one looked too closely at it…?

 

She was no stranger to hickeys. Carmilla was pretty... _territorial_ when they were dating. Ell had a whole collection of scarves she’d bought for just this sort of purpose. But it was _spring._ She very well couldn’t throw on a scarf, especially when she had to wear a uniform.

 

Her only other option was to devise some sort of plausible explanation for it when someone asked. Vampire attack. Alien abduction. Banged her neck on a doorknob?

 

Hooked up with Wilson Kirsch? Honestly she would be willing to settle for that at this point if she thought Laura would buy it.

 

Her eyes widened as she caught sight of her clock.  Sheiza!  She was going to have to leave now if she didn’t want to be late for school.

 

With one last forlorn look at the mirror, Ell dashed out the door, praying she made it on time.

 

She made it in right before the bell rang for homeroom, which unfortunately meant no morning Danny time. Or maybe that was for the best. The last thing she needed was another one.

 

“Good morning Ell!” Perry said, as Ell slid in next to her. She had always been a big morning person, Perry. Ell was not in the mood for bright and chipper.

 

“Good morning Perry.”  She turned to give her friend a weak half-smile.

 

Perry gasped.  “Ell!  What happened to your neck?”

 

Ell’s hand flew involuntarily to the hickey as she stammered out, “I--I tripped and fell.”  She immediately winced.  That was _not_ the excuse she meant to go with.

 

Perry’s face changed to one of immediate concern.  “Are you okay?  I might have some ointment for that.”

 

Ell blushed as she responded, “I think I’ll be okay.  But thank you.”

 

She couldn’t believe the excuse worked. But, then again, this was _Perry._ She was very trusting of her friends. Which was a great quality but terrible to test if an excuse would work.

 

Maybe she could just avoid everyone but Perry and Danny. Yes that would totally work.  As long as she avoided everyone that she knew, everything would be fine. She only needed to do it for… a few days.  

 

The bell rang for first period and Ell yanked her books from her desk, getting up and power-walking out of the room. She was keeping her head down, trying to bring as little attention to herself as possible, when she felt someone nudge her shoulder.

 

“WHAT--oh, Danny, sorry! I was just surprised.”

 

Danny’s eyes were wide with shock at her outburst, but she recovered quickly. “Morning, Ell. I didn’t see you today in the band room. I was kind of worried.”

 

Ell slowed slightly for her. “It was _your_ fault,” she whispered.

 

“I’m sorry, what?”

 

_“Your_ fault, you and your stupid kissing skills.”

 

“I’m really confused right now. I was always under the impression that girls _liked_ their girlfriends to be fantastic kissers…?”

 

Ell glared at her and turned her head slightly, so Danny could see part of the purple mark on the other side. She started cracking up.

 

“It isn’t funny!”

 

“I--no, it probably isn’t, but--just _you._ With a _hickey._ You are so adorable and sweet and I don’t know why, but...yeah, it’s just funny to see you with a hickey, even if I was, y’know, there when it happened.”

 

Ell came close to coming clean, right there, to point out that she’d had _plenty_ of hickeys in her day, thank you very much.

 

Danny smirked and leaned down to whisper in Ell’s ear, “I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m kind of _not_.”

 

Ell huffed, swatting Danny away as Danny laughed.

 

“Yeah, well Laura is going to notice at lunch. If LaFontaine doesn’t first. And _they_ aren’t the type to keep it to themselves.”

 

“Relax,” Danny laughed.  “Just make an excuse?”

 

Ell ran a hand down her face.  “Yeah.  About that.  I told Perry I tripped and fell.”

 

Danny clapped a hand over her mouth, but Ell could still tell she was laughing and gave her a half-hearted glare.  She sighed, staring at her hands.

 

“So if you say anything different at lunch, Perry will know? But that’s like, the worst excuse in the world.”

 

“Well excuse me. What brilliant excuses do you have?”

 

Danny gave a shrug.  “Like any one but that one?”

 

Ell wanted to be angrier, but even she could concede that it was a poor excuse.  “I panicked, okay?”

 

Danny ran a soothing hand up her arm and Ell instantly relaxed.  She hadn’t even realized her shoulders were hunched.  

 

“It’s okay Ell.  Look, let’s go to the bathroom.  I’ve got some concealer that will do a little bit of a better job.  It won’t be perfect because we’re not the same skin tone and I don’t have any color corrector, but it should make it slightly less visible.”

 

“...Thanks. I’ll be late to class though.”

 

“Better than having the teacher notice?”

 

They were walking past the bathroom, and Ell tugged Danny inside. Danny reached into the messenger bag she used instead of a backpack, pulling out a little makeup bag.

 

“Okay.  You’re a little shorter than me.”  Danny bit her lip, trying to figure out the best way to do this.  It would be more than a little awkward to stoop to see below Ell’s jaw.  Shrugging her shoulders, she lifted Ell onto the counter.

 

Ell squeaked, “Danny what are you doing?”

 

Danny grinned as she stepped between Ell’s legs.  “Couldn’t see what I was doing so I moved you to a place I could.  And also, I like you in this position.”

 

Danny tangled her fingers in Ell’s hair, pulling her down for a brief kiss.

 

“Okay,” Danny grabbed her concealer.  “Let’s do this.”

 

Danny dabbed at the little container with a finger, before leaning in to lightly apply some to Ell’s neck.  Danny’s fingers lightly stroked at the skin, rubbing in small circles to work the pigment in.  Ell willed herself not to shudder at Danny’s touch, curling her fingers around the counter.

 

After a moment, Danny stepped back to inspect her handiwork.

 

“Still not great.  But as long as no one’s looking too close…?”

 

Ell hopped off the counter and spun to look in the mirror.  Slightly lighter.  Slightly less angry looking.  An improvement, surely?

 

“Well, this’ll have to do. Hopefully no one notices at lunch.”

 

Danny shrugged. “You know, Ells, look at it this way; not a big deal even if she does.”

 

Ell turned to look at Danny. “Trust me, it is.”

 

“What’s the worst that can happen?” She put her hands on Ell’s hips. “We’ve been dating for a day and a half. She might get a little annoyed but it’s not like we’ve been keeping it quiet for that long. So what if they figure it out?”

 

Ell couldn’t look Danny in the eyes, she was so ashamed. Danny looked like she was about to kiss Ell again when she pulled away.

“I--I need to get to class. See you at lunch.”

 

Ell ignored the brief look of hurt she saw flash across Danny’s eyes.  She tried not to think about it.  Because she knew that if she told Danny the truth, there would be a whole lot more than hurt in those eyes.

 

The rest of the morning was relatively quiet.  She’d lied to her first period teacher about helping a freshman get to class, but she’d always been such a good student that her teacher believed her even without a pass.  Just one more thing to add to the pile of guilt.

 

Her classes were relatively quiet.  No tests, mainly just reading or lecturing.  Which left Ell plenty of time to stew in her own thoughts.

 

She had another month before the competition. Which meant she had about a month to marry Danny and become pregnant with her child. Otherwise she would have to tell Laura and Carmilla she was going out with Danny and Danny wouldn’t really have a good reason not to dump her for the whole lying to her for months thing.  The worry in the pit of her stomach grew.

 

That worry didn’t ease up as the bell rang for lunch.  It felt heavy.  Ell spent as long as she could dawdling, taking time to pack up her books.  Even as the last one out of the classroom, she could tell she had a long lunch period in front of her.

 

When she got to the cafeteria, Laura, JP, and Perry were already there.  Danny hadn’t appeared yet and she could see Laf making their way over with a tray.  Great.  Superb.  Everyone else was there and her girlfriend wasn’t around to shield her from the fallout.

 

“H-hey guys,” Ell said, trying not to look nervous when she sat down, “How are you guys? Good? I’m great. Perry how was your home economics test? You got an A as always, right? Haha.”

 

“...Ell you are acting really, really weird,” Laura said.

 

Oh, _sheiza._ Could she not catch a break?

 

“Nope, I’m great. I’m, uh...just nervous about the competition…?”

 

Laura brightened. “Oh my God, I am too! But, like, excited nervous. Carmilla can’t stop talking about it. I _knew_ she’d come around to it. Speaking of which, we really need to figure out a band name…”

Ell ignored most of what Laura was saying as she rambled on, noticing that Danny walked in and stood in the lunch line.

 

“...Oooh, Ell, are you not listening because you’re looking at Danny?” Ell looked back at Laura. She was smiling and the others looked like they were trying not to laugh.

 

“No. Kind of. I don’t know.”

 

Perry bit her lip, concerned. “Ell, are you okay? Did you hit your head when you tripped?”

 

“She tripped?” JP asked. Ell leaned back in her seat.

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

“Your bruise is clearing up, at least.”

 

“Bruise?” Laura squinted, “What-- _wow,_ I didn’t notice that until now.”

 

Ell flinched.  Well so much for subtle.

 

“It’s fine guys,” she mumbled.  “I felt like an idiot, but it’s fine.”

 

“It is an odd place for a bruise, surely,” JP said, “That must have been a rather awkward fall--”

 

“ _What’s up,_ guys?” Danny dropped her tray next to Ell, grinning at the entire table. “Okay, so you will not _believe_ what happened in AP lit today with Mrs. Cochrane…”

 

_Thank you,_ Ell mouthed to Danny. She smiled and launched into an animated story. Laura gave Ell some serious side eye before turning her attention away.

 

Danny was a godsend all through lunch.  She kept re-directing attention whenever it focused too long on Ell and entwining their fingers to calm Ell down under the table.  It was okay.  They didn’t know.

 

Of course, all that didn’t help when they got to band practice later that day.

 

“What’s with the mark, Cinnabon?”  Carmilla asked, immediately zeroing in on the hickey.

 

“Ell tripped and fell,” answered Laura.

 

Carmilla’s eyes cut across to Ell, smirking a little.

 

“Oh she _did,_ did she?”

 

They were interrupted by the sound of Danny sliding in, hopping off her skateboard and scooping it up in one motion.

 

“Sorry I’m late guys.  I had a few things to take care of for later.”  

 

Danny shot Ell a significant look and Ell fought down her blush.  Carmilla seemed to catch the interaction and smirked.

 

“Interesting Red.  Just _fascinating_.”

 

Danny huffed good-naturedly at the jibe.

 

“Whatever Elvira.  Let’s just play.”

 

Carmilla looked at Danny for a long moment and shrugged. “Fine. Get behind the drum kit then.”

 

Danny grabbed the drumsticks from her back pocket, twirling them expertly in her hands. “With pleasure.”

 

“We still need a band name, guys,” Laura voiced, “The deadline is coming up, they can’t put ‘entrant number fifteen’ into the competition.”

 

Carmilla snorted, “I don’t see why not.  Who the fuck cares what we’re called?”

 

Laura glared.  “We need a real name Carm.”

 

“Well do you have any good ones?  You’re probably going to want to use something super lame and nerdy.”

 

Laura rolled her eyes, “it’s not nerdy.”

 

Carmilla raised an eyebrow in challenge.

 

“Um guys… what about Summer Society?” Danny interrupted.

 

Carmilla’s face twisted.  “What the fuck does that even mean beanstalk?”

 

“It’s a club at school I joined--”

 

“You mean that skate club?” Ell interjected.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Wow, I didn’t even know that club was still running,” Laura added, “I thought Mel and Elsie were the only people that were still going to meetings.”

 

“Until I joined.”

 

“That’s nice Clifford, but I don’t see why we’re naming the band after _your_ stupid club.”

 

“Well it’s not like you were coming up with any better ideas Fangface.”

 

Danny and Carmilla glared at each other for a moment before Ell cut in.

 

“I like Summer Society.”

 

Carmilla turned to sneer at her.

 

“Oh sure.  Of _course_ you’re going to side with her.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”  Ell could feel the panic rising.  Was that too obvious?  This time it was Laura who saved her.

 

“How about Buffy the Vampire Slayers?  That’s cool enough, right Carm?”

 

Carmilla blinked at her.  “Knock the Buffy bit off and you might have something there cutie.”

 

“Okay so Vampire Slayers.”

 

Danny’s face twisted.  “That’s so dark.  It’s ridiculous.  And what do we have to do with vampires anyway?”

 

Carmilla bared her teeth.  “What the fuck all do we have to do with summer?”

 

Ell turned to look at each of them, biting her lip in thought.  “Okay.  So how about Slayer Society?”

 

All the heads in the room whipped around to look at her.  Ell stood her ground.

 

“We get rid of the vampires and the summer.  And we’re left with Slayer Society.  That’s cool enough, right?”

 

“That is awf--” Carmilla stopped. “Actually that is not completely awful. I can live with that.”

 

Ell smiled and turned to look at Danny, “Danny?  What do you think?”

 

Danny gave her a shrug, “I can live with that too.”

 

Ell grinned at Danny who grinned back.  They were interrupted by the sound of Laura clapping her hands together.

 

“Oh-kay!  Perfect then.  We’re the Slayer Society!  That was a great brainstorming session guys.”

 

Carmilla merely rolled her eyes, “can we please get back to practicing now?  I’d prefer that to the sound of your voices.”

 

“But then it’s just _your_ voice screaming into the mic,” Danny answered, smirking. Carmilla huffed.

 

“You and cinnabon are jealous you don’t have my skills.”

 

“I didn’t say any--”

 

“You two are glued at the hip so I’m guessing you agree.”

 

Ell snapped her mouth shut.  Laura glanced warily about the room.

 

“Come on guys.  We were getting along so well.”

 

Carmilla grumbled something unintelligible, but when Laura shot her a look, mouthing something Ell didn’t catch, Carmilla straightened out and barked out a terse, “count us off Xena.”

 

Danny coughed something that sounded suspiciously like ‘whipped,’ but counted them off anyway.

 

They’d been playing 27 so many times, over and over, that Ell barely needed to think about the notes anymore.  The notes flowed naturally from her fingers, even as she could feel when Danny was about to pick up tempo or Carmilla wanted to hold for a glory note.  Something about this song just _worked_.

 

They played the song through a few more times.  Danny added an extra complicated pattern to one of her usual drum fills in one of the musical interludes.  Carmilla didn’t even turn around to glare like she had in the past, instead electing to smoothly pick out a slightly altered melody exaggerated by a few hammer-ons and pull-offs that resonated through the small space.

 

“That sounded _fantastic!”_ Laura exclaimed when they were finished, “We are going to kill at the competition, guys!”

 

Carmilla paced back and forth, plucking random notes on Bagheera. Her jaw was moving back and forth.

 

“Carmilla, what’s wrong?”

 

“Something is missing,” she grumbled.

 

“Are you serious? We were spot on!” Danny answered.

 

“ _No._ It’s not the performance. Except Ell is still too stiff. But I’m banking on her playing so well they won’t care.”

 

Ell’s shoulders rose a little. It was true, unfortunately. But she _had_ warned Laura that would happen if she joined.

 

“It’s the _song,”_ Carmilla continued, “It’s missing something. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just overthinking it.”   

 

Laura frowned, “what are you talking about babe?  The song sounds great?”

 

Carmilla’s brow furrowed.  “It’s good.  But it’s not quite _there_.  Do you know what I mean?”

 

To everyone’s surprise, it was Danny who jumped in, “much as it pains me to say this, I agree with Carmilla.”

 

“I agree with D--Carmilla too,” Ell said.

 

Laura looked back and forth between the three of them before sighing. “Okay. The song isn’t there. How do we fix it?”

 

“I’ll work on it,” Carmilla answered, “Until then, don’t worry about it. We all down for the mall tomorrow?”

 

“Mall?” Ell asked.

 

“Laura and I were talking about it. We need to look like a band. And I’ve been wearing the same shirt for the past two weeks. We’re killing two birds with one stone here.”

 

Danny snorted.  “Why do the rest of us need to come if _you’re_ the one with a stench so bad they can smell it two states over?”

 

“Told you Big Red.  Band coordination.”

 

Danny huffed.  “Look I’m sure we can all come up with suitable pieces without having to _buy_ more.”

 

Carmilla raised a pointed eyebrow and directed it at Ell.

 

“You might.  But Cinnabon over here?  Definitely can’t.”

 

“Who says?” Ell threw back.

 

“Ell, name one thing you own that is black.”

 

“Well why do we _need_ to wear black--”

 

“If you think I am going to dress like Patty Simcox--”

 

“ _Guys,_ we will settle this tomorrow!”

 

Carmilla grumbled her assent and they all decided to call it quits for the night.

 

As they started to pack up, Danny nudged Ell, whispering lightly in her ear, “hey can I come pick you up in an hour for our date?”

 

Ell smiled.  In the craziness of everything else, she’d almost forgotten.

 

“Sure Dan.  Still think you have me beat?”

 

Danny winked.  “I’m going to knock your socks off.”

 

“We will see about that.”

 

Danny turned with a wave of the hand before getting on her skateboard. Laura said goodbye to them; Carmilla grunted which was, by her standards, positively warm. They left, and Danny looked back at Ell.

 

“One more thing,” she said, “Wear pants and make sure you have a helmet.”

 

“Danny why do I need--Danny Lawrence!”

 

She pushed off and was gone, leaving Ell in the garage alone.

 

Ell groaned.  Great.  What was she going to do now?

 

45 minutes later, Ell was a nervous wreck.  She’d changed into jeans and a light sweater and had gone rooting through her garage for an old bike helmet.  She hadn’t biked in years and the helmet was bright pink with flowers on it.  She cringed.  Why did she need a stupid helmet anyway?

 

Would it be totally unreasonable to attempt to find another?  Laura had a newer helmet because she was a much bigger fan of biking.  But if she asked Laura for hers, there would undoubtedly be questions.  Questions which Ell wouldn’t even know how to answer since she didn’t know what they were doing.  She groaned.

 

As if on schedule, there was a knock at the door.

 

“Coming!” Ell squeaked. She took a deep breath. Girlfriend. As in, wanted to be in Ell’s presence. Danny knew how awkward Ell was.

 

She opened the door, smiling up at Danny. “Hello, Danny.”

 

Danny grinned down at her, tugging her cap backwards, “hey there stranger.  Ready to roll?”

 

Ell huffed playfully.  “Well I would be if I knew where we were going.”

 

Danny winked, slinging an arm around Ell’s waist.  “Spoilers Ell.  That would be telling.”

 

Ell shivered as they stepped into the cool night air, though from the air or Danny’s touch she couldn’t say (probably Danny).  

 

“Got your helmet?”  Danny asked.

 

Ell sheepishly raised the pink monstrosity.  To her credit, Danny didn’t even blink.

 

“Sweet.  You’re going to need it.”

 

Ell bit her lip.  “Um… Danny?  Why?”

 

Danny laughed, “I told you to be patient, didn’t I?”

 

“I am trying. And not succeeding. Danny I would like to also bring up how totally uncoordinated I am, so if you are trying to have me do some sort of sport--”

 

Danny stopped suddenly, turning Ell to face her. “I always thought the ‘shut her up with a kiss’ trope was problematic,” Danny said, “So I’ll ask you first; would you rather know where we’re going or have me kiss you now?”

 

“...Kiss.”

 

“Good choice.”

 

Ell was a lot quieter after that. She swung their joined hands lightly between them, trusting Danny to make sure she didn’t run into anything, since she wasn’t paying attention to anyone but her.

 

Danny stopped them after a few minutes and pulled Ell into another quick kiss.

 

“We’re here Ell.”

 

Ell blinked, trying to refocus after the kiss.  Where was here?  She looked around.  The area was dark, a lot of greys.  She walked forward a little further and watched the ground drop off.

 

Oh.

 

They were at the skate park.

 

“Wow, that is nice Danny, but unless the helmet is for making sure I don’t hit my head while we make out in the halfpipe I am kind of confused.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You don’t expect me to skate, do you?”

 

Danny just flashed Ell a grin and Ell felt her panic grow.

 

“Do you?!”

 

Danny laughed as she fastened her helmet on and winked as she dropped into the bowl.  

 

Ell watched in astonishment as Danny cruised over to the other side gaining momentum as she swerved back towards Ell.  She was coming far too fast.  She was totally going to cra--

 

Danny caught herself on the lip of the bowl, skateboard balanced precariously on the edge, as she leaned in to give Ell a quick kiss.  And just as quickly she was turning and dropping back in.

 

She pumped her leg, gaining speed before popping up on the other side, bringing her legs up into a tuck and gaining some good height above the bowl.  Ell’s heart went to her throat.  She knew Danny was good at this, but wasn’t that terrifying?

 

Danny came barreling back towards her, a familiar gleam in her eye.  Ell smiled as Danny popped back up and gave her another quick kiss.  Now _this_ was totally Ell’s speed.  God her girlfriend was hot.

 

Danny went back over to the other side, completing a full turn and a half with some pretty solid air time before racing back to Ell.

 

Ell was ready this time.  As Danny balanced on the lip this time Ell leaned in to meet her, letting her passion fuel the moment.  For a split second it was perfect.  And then Danny lost her precarious balance and yelped a little as she slid back down the bowl, skateboard skittering away from her.

 

“Ohmygod, Danny!!” Ell made a wild grab for her, falling in and sliding after Danny. They ended up at the bottom in a tangle of limbs.

 

“Are you okay? Danny?”

 

“ _Me?_ What about you?”

 

They both scrambled into a sitting position, looking at each other.

 

“...So that was fun?”

 

Danny groaned, laying on her back. “So much for seducing you with my wicked skateboard moves.”

 

“Watching you flail wildly was still kind of sexy?” Ell suggested weakly, “And it was my fault anyway.”

 

Danny gave her a half-grin.  “Nah.  I knew I was pushing my luck by trying to keep nailing that lip trick.  And with the speed I got off of that 540?  My balance was always gonna be a little bit suspect.  I just thought it’d be really hot to kiss you like that so I kept doing it.”

 

“I have no idea what you just said. Except for that last part. I totally agree with you on that last part.”

 

“Well, that’s the most important part, isn’t it?” Danny answered, leaning in to kiss her, “And hey, if you thought _that_ was hot, just think about if you were the one on the skateboard…”

 

“I literally just watched you fall, and you expect _me_ to try it?”

 

Danny clambered to her feet, smiling as she leant Ell a hand and pulled her in for a hug.

 

“Don’t worry Ells.  I’ve got you.  Don’t you trust me?”

 

Ell looked warily at the skateboard sitting innocently a few feet away.

 

“It’s not you I don’t trust…”

 

“Come on.”

 

“Are you going to be riding on the skateboard with me?”

 

Danny laughed.  “Might be pretty difficult there Ells.  They aren’t exactly built for two people.”

 

“That is _exactly_ my point.”

 

Danny grinned and pulled Ell over to the skateboard.

 

“Here.  Just put one foot on.  You can leave the other on the ground.”

 

Ell shot her a look, but did as she was told.  Danny moved to stand behind her, gripping her hips lightly.

 

“Okay.  Bring the other one up.  Relax.  I’m not going to let you go.”

 

Ell brought her other foot up to balance on the skateboard.  She thought she would wobble more, but Danny was rock solid behind her.  Also with the extra few inches off of the ground, she and Danny were almost the same height which was nice.

 

“Okay.  Okay.  See?  You’re fine.”

 

Ell resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

 

“Dan.  I’m not moving.  And you’re still holding me.  Of course I’m fine.”

 

“Right.  Well let’s change that.”

 

“No wait Dan--”

 

Danny stepped forward, urging both Ell and the board to move.  But she didn’t let go of her grip on Ell, walking steadily behind her to push them along.  Ell relaxed.  With Danny here it was okay.  This really wasn’t so bad.

 

“Feeling okay?”

 

“Danny, you don’t need to keep checking in. We are moving two miles an hour.”

 

Ell couldn’t see it, but she could hear the smirk in Danny’s voice.

 

“Oh yeah champ?  Well if you’re so comfortable, I’m sure you can do this on your own.”

 

All of a sudden the comforting feeling of Danny’s hands left her waist.

 

Ell immediately panicked, wobbling precariously as her arms began to flail.

 

“Danny!” her voice was a high-pitched squeak.  She definitely did not want a mouthful of pavement.  That would easily be a night-ruiner.

 

Just as she managed to tip herself so that she was actually falling, a pair of warm arms returned, sweeping her up into their embrace.

 

“Well _hello.”_ Danny said, grinning down at her. Ell rolled her eyes.

 

“I get your point, Dan.”

 

Danny smirked, but helped right Ell back on the board.  

 

“Come on,” she coaxed, “you can totally get this.  Keep your feet planted shoulder width apart,” Danny nudged her a little, “that’s it.  Take one foot off to push…”

 

Ell managed one clumsy push before putting her foot shakily on the board.  The board glided about a two feet before slowing.

 

“I did it!”

 

“Awesome!”

 

Ell tried it again; it went up the incline slightly, rolling back down as she stopped in front of Danny, wobbling all the while.

 

Ell grinned. “ _Hello.”_ She leaned in and gave Danny a quick peck. “You’re right. That is kind of hot.”

 

Danny smirked, hands going back to gripping Ell’s waist lightly.  “Definitely hot.  My girlfriend the skater babe.”

 

Ell blushed as Danny leaned forward for another longer kiss.  The change in height was a little strange, but not unwelcome.  It seemed that Danny agreed because she hummed appreciatively into Ell’s mouth.

 

“Definitely hot Ells,” she mumbled.

 

They pulled away.

 

Ell was about to speak, when something caught her eye.  She bit her lip.  Should she go for it?  Laura was always trying to encourage her to be more spontaneous…

 

Without trying to second guess it too much, Ell snagged the snapback from Danny’s head and plopped it on her own.  It was a touch too big, falling too far into her vision.

 

Danny chuckled and helped her readjust it.  “Ell, what?”

 

Ell shrugged, blushing a little.  “If I am going to be a skater babe, I need to look the part.”

 

Danny smirked.  “Well what about me?”

 

Ell grinned.  “You snooze, you lose?”

 

Danny let out a loud laugh at that, reaching over to swipe the hat back.  Ell danced just out of reach.  Danny narrowed her eyes.

 

“If you want it back, you’ll have to catch me!” Ell declared, turning and running away.

 

Danny’s happy hoot of laughter followed her.  Ell ran faster.  She knew that Danny would probably catch her quickly, but that didn’t mean she had to make it _easy_ for her.  She turned, glancing over her shoulder to see where Danny was.  Her eyes widened at the sight of Danny Lawrence, speeding towards her on the skateboard.

 

“That’s cheating!” she yelped, running faster.  All of a sudden, she was being scooped up into strong arms, still coasting on the skateboard.  

 

Danny smirked.  “All’s fair in love and war.”

 

Ell couldn’t help it, she laughed, wrapping her arms around Danny’s neck.  They glided like that, leisurely, for a few minutes.  Finally, Ell spoke.

 

“This was certainly a...creative idea for a date,” Ell said.

 

“Oh, what, you think this was the _entire date?”_ Danny said, clutching her chest, “Why, Ell, you don’t think this was all I was planning, do you?”

 

Ell’s hand went instinctively to the back of her head.  “Um...maybe?”

 

Danny tapped her on the nose.  “I told you I was going to sweep you off your feet Ells.  As _literal_ as this interpretation might be, I have a bit more than that up my sleeve.”

 

Ell wrinkled her nose, making Danny smile. “Well, Danny, lead on?”

 

“With pleasure.” Ell got off the board, Danny kicking it up into her hand. She tucked it under her arm.

 

“There’s a park near here--you know, a regular park, not a skate park. Come on.”

 

With Danny’s hand on Ell’s waist, Ell tucked into her side, she couldn’t see how anything about this night could be better. But if anyone could find a way, Ell had no doubt that Danny could.

 

“Okay, close your eyes,” Danny said.

 

“Close my eyes?”

 

“Like I said before, Ell, trust me.”

 

Ell closed her eyes and let Danny’s sure touch guide her forward.  Ell trusted Danny implicitly.

 

“Okay,” Danny’s breath was warm and soothing in her ear, “you can open your eyes now.”

 

Ell did. And her eyes went wide with disbelief, staring at the picnic blanket, the little box of chocolates, and Danny beaming with pride at her work.

 

“I was scared someone would mess with it,” Danny said, “But I liked the idea way too much not to try it out. I thought we could try stargazing.”

 

Ell’s stomach dropped.

 

_Stargazing._

 

“What do you think, Ell?”

 

What did she think?

 

Ell thought about a date, a blanket laid out in the grass in a backyard. A bottle of sparkling water they both laughed about, pretending they were drinking champagne. The first kiss Ell shared with her first girlfriend.

 

Ell thought about the nights before they’d perfected sneaking about after dark, when she would look out her window with that warm, low voice on the phone. And she’d look up at the stars knowing they were seeing the same sight. And feel closer to her.

 

Ell thought about long nights with her head tucked into the crook of her girlfriend’s shoulder, listening quietly as she patiently pointed out all the constellations and the stories behind them.  Ell had fallen asleep to that voice more than once, before getting teased about it in the morning.  And then they’d start the process all over again some other night.

 

Ell thought about all of it and felt like complete shit.

 

“Ell…?”

 

“It--it’s great,” Ell managed to say. “Really great.”

 

Danny’s face fell.  “You don’t like it.”

 

Ell rushed to reassure her, “no I do Danny!  I really do!”

 

“Then why don’t you sound excited?”

 

“I…” Ell was a terrible liar, “I was just surprised.”

 

She frowned. Hard. “Look, Ell, I want you to have a good time, if you don’t want to--”

 

“I _do.”_ Ell pushed past Danny, sitting down on the blanket. “See? I’m here. I am sitting and, uh, enjoying this great blanket.”

 

“ _Wow,_ that convinces me,” Danny answered, crossing her arms.

 

“Danny please.”  

 

Ell did something then that she was not particularly proud of.  But she had learned from the master.  She tilted her head up to look at Danny and let her eyes grow large and her bottom lip tremble.  She tried not to use the pout very often, but it was _incredibly_ effective.

 

And, as expected, Danny melted.

 

“I am still convinced you are lying,” she said, “But you are way too cute.”

 

Ell merely smiled and patted the space next to her.  As soon as Danny sat down, she let herself crawl into the space between Danny’s legs and wrapped Danny’s arms around her.

 

There.  At least this was different.  Carmilla was shorter than her so they’d always sat side by side.  She could do this.  She could make new memories with her new girlfriend.  People did this all the time, didn’t they? It wasn’t like Carmilla invented stargazing.

 

Carmilla was just really good at it, she absolutely _loved_ the stars, she would wax eloquent about them as Ell sat in raptured awe at her words as they spilled from her mouth like poetry--

 

_“Ell?”_

 

“What?”

 

“I said, do you want some chocolate?”

 

Ell sheepishly took a bite of the proffered chocolate before settling back into Danny’s arms.

 

“This is delicious Dan,” she mumbled around bits of chocolate, “also you’re really warm.  My very own human blanket.”

 

“I’m glad you like it, Ells,” Danny said softly, kissing Ell’s temple. Ell tried her best to stay in the moment. Danny, Danny, Danny. That was who was kissing her. Not Carmilla.

 

“Ell?” Danny murmured.

 

“Hmm?”

 

Danny pulled away and ran a hand through her hair, sighing.

 

“Okay Ell.  You’ve been distracted pretty much since we got here.  What’s going on?”

 

Ell swallowed.  “Nothing’s going on.”

 

Danny raised an eyebrow.  “Why are you lying about it?”

 

“I’m not lying.”

 

“Then why do you look upset?”

 

“Ever think that you accusing me of being upset is why I look upset now?” Ell snapped.

 

Danny frowned. Ell frowned.

 

“Danny--”

 

“It’s late. We should probably go home.”

 

Ell bit her lip.  She had ruined it. Or Carmilla had. Indirectly. Even after breaking up, Carmilla was still ruining her life.

 

“I’m sorry Dan. I know I haven’t been great company. But it had nothing to do with you.  You were perfect.”

 

Ell leaned up and gave Danny a chaste kiss on the cheek, hoping to reinforce her words.

 

“It’s fine,” Danny answered, holding out a hand for Ell to take, “You’re probably tired. I get it. I’ll walk you home.”

 

Ell took Danny’s hand, deciding that this was the best she could do.

 

But Danny didn’t sound fine.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

_The-other-L:_ heeeeey, fellow bandos, WAKE UP! reminder that we all have to meet at the mall today after school for our band outfits!!!

 

 _Annoying-Ex:_ ‘Bandos?’ Shoot me now.

 

 _The-other-L:_ y r u texting u r literally laying next to me right now

 

 _Danny <3: _Did not need to know that guys. >o<

 

 _Annoying-Ex_ : Shut it Red.

 

 _Danny <3 _: I’m not afraid of you pipsqueak.  I’ll take you in a fight anytime. (ง •̀_•́)ง

 

 _The-other-L_ : guys!  don’t fight!!!

 

 _Ell:_ Yeah Danny Carm is the face of the band. You can’t ruin her face.

 

 _Ell:_ And before you say, Danny would totally beat you in a fight Carmilla.

 

 _Annoying-Ex:_ Haha yeah right. As if.

 

 _Danny <3: _You’re so short it’d be easy. I would hold you at arm’s length with one hand and punch you with the other.

 

 _Annoying-Ex_ : Bigger you are, harder you fall.  Moron.

 

 _Annoying-Ex_ : i toootallly didn’t mean that and am super sorry Danny!!

 

 _The-other-L_ : Two can play at that cupcake.

 

 _Annoying-Ex_ : carm!!  gimme back my phoneeee

 

 _Ell:_ Okay are we done? I have to get ready for school?

 

 _Danny:_ See you in school Ell. :)

 

 _Ell:_ I’ll see you Danny! Have a good day!

 

 _The-other-L:_ *romantic violin music starts playing*

 

 _Ell:_ Seriously Carmilla, stop.

 

 _The-other-L:_ actually i got the phone back u guys are just so cuuuuute!!!

 

 _Ell:_ GOODBYE

 

Ell shoved her phone to the side and groaned into her pillow.  It was going to be hard enough to face Danny in school today.  But to face Danny in Carmilla’s presence?  Carmilla, who was the whole reason she’d messed up her date with Danny so badly yesterday.  This was going to be a disaster.

 

She had only one trick up her sleeve. One which she’d never considered herself a master of--it was more Carmilla’s forte. But Ell was desperate. As soon as she walked into the practice room that morning and saw Danny, she didn’t even give her the chance to say hello before Ell pinned her against the wall.

 

“Morning,” Ell said quickly, before kissing Danny for all she was worth. Maybe it was bad to substitute makeout sessions for communication. But they could worry about that later.

 

“And good _morning_ to you too,” laughed Danny.  “Someone is in a better mood this morning.”

 

Ell flashed Danny a smile, but didn’t say anything, opting instead to kiss her girlfriend again.

 

“... _Much_ better mood,” Danny added, “Wow. Uh, I guess whatever was bothering you--”

 

“Taken care of.”  Ell leaned forward to kiss Danny again, effectively silencing whatever her response was going to be.

 

All too soon the bell was ringing for class.

 

“So I’ll see you at lunch?” Ell asked a little breathlessly.

 

Danny gave her an apologetic look.  “Sorry Ells.  I asked my teacher if I could meet during lunch to go over a test.”

 

“Well I _guess_ your studies can come first,” Ell teased, “just don’t make a habit of it.”

 

“Yes ma’am.”

 

Secretly, Ell was kind of relieved.

 

Liar, liar, liar. That was all that was going through Ell’s head. She thought if she was a fantastic girlfriend in all other aspects of their relationship it’d sort of cancel out the guilt. She was wrong. And what was the point of keeping up the lie so she wouldn’t lose Danny if she couldn’t even get through a date without Carmilla’s ghost ruining it?

 

The worst thing was that before this she’d stopped pining after Carmilla. They’d been young, and first loves died hard; Ell did something bad and Carmilla didn’t forgive her. She could move on from that. But now this whole thing with Danny was bringing up all of those old feelings, like her mind was trying to force her to give it up.

 

 _Hey, Ell, Danny_ is _a great kisser...but you know who else was? That’s right! CARMILLA TELL HER TELL HER RIGHT NOW._

 

“Bye Dan.  I’ll see you after school.”

 

 _Coward_.

 

Danny kissed her cheek before walking out. The spot on her cheek almost burned. Ell dragged herself through each class, probably bombed a test, and as she stared at the lunchroom...Ell couldn’t bring herself to walk in. She couldn’t bring herself to deal with people today. So she went back to the practice room. Alone.

 

“...Hello silence my old friend,” Ell mumbled to herself, stretching her fingers before going back to the familiar solitude she thought she’d left behind.

 

***

 

“Hey!  We missed you at lunch today!” Laura grinned as soon as she saw Ell.

 

Ell looked down, willing herself not to scuff her toes against the ground.

 

“Uh… yeah.  Sorry.  I got caught up in practicing.”

 

“No worries!” Laura beamed, “now we just need Danny and we can figure out what to wear!”

 

“Awesome. Um...where is Carmilla?”

 

Laura frowned. “Washing.”

 

“Washing... _no._ The mall bathroom? Seriously?”

 

There was a cushioned bench in front of the Auntie Anne’s they’d all promised to meet at; Laura sat down. “She’s been getting _worse,”_ Laura groaned, “I swear Carm has lost, like, twenty pounds. And have you seen how bloodshot her eyes are getting? My dad won’t let her sleep over too much, and Carm is so freaking stubborn she won’t shower at my house. I--you know, I’m really worried.”

 

Ell bit her lip.  As much as she wasn’t particularly fond of her ex, that sounded pretty awful.  She wouldn’t have wished that on anyone.

 

“Is there anything else we can do?  That we’re not already doing, I mean.”

 

Laura sighed. “I don’t know. I’m just--” Laura stopped. Ell tilted her head. She sat down next to Laura.

 

“What?”

 

“I’m afraid she’s doing it again, Ell.”

 

“What?”

 

“Hiding something. What if she’s hiding something from _me?_ I promised her I wouldn’t let that affect us, but it’s hard not to think about it a little.”

 

Ell bit her lip. “Laur, Carmilla _adores_ you. She wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize you guys.”

 

“She adored you too.”

 

“Yeah. She did.”

 

“...Gee, thanks Ell.”

 

“No! I mean--she likes you better. No, seriously, I mean it!”

 

Laura just sighed heavily, sinking further into the bench.

 

“Hey babe.  Cinnabon.  Whatchya talking about?” Carmilla’s voice had both of their heads shooting up in mild alarm.  Carmilla stood in front of them, slightly cleaner looking, but still dripping.  It was clear she’d dunked her head in the sink.  It was also clear that she hadn’t managed to get her head anywhere near dry.

 

“Fine,” Ell said first, “I was just telling Laura about how I, um...you know, Danny.”

 

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on. You two are practically dating.”

 

“HAHA. Very funny. As if,” Ell laughed. “Seriously though, Carmilla,” Ell reached into her purse, “Go buy a pepperoni pizza pretzel from Auntie Anne’s. You could probably use it, right?”

 

She bristled. “I don’t need--”

 

“It’s my fault you’re homeless, least I can do is buy you a pretzel...and Laura, too.”

 

Carmilla looked at Laura, looking back with puppy dog eyes. She took the money from Ell and went to buy pretzels.

 

“Okay, good,” Ell said, “Now Carm will--”

 

She was interrupted by Laura’s arms pulling Ell into a tight hug.

 

“You are my best friend,” Laura said into the fabric of Ell’s shirt, “Thank you so much. I know helping her can’t be easy and I’ve been so stressed about everything and if you hadn’t agreed to talk to me again I don’t know what I’d do.”

 

Ell patted Laura’s back softly. “Hey. Laura. Seriously.” She smiled. “What did you think I would do? How could I ever break up L squared?”

 

Laura gave a little half-ragged laugh.  “I’m sorry for almost breaking us up.  Especially over a girl.”

 

Ell gave her an awkward smile.  “Well.  Carmilla’s not just any girl I guess.”

 

“No,” Laura looked over to where Carmilla stood in line, tapping her foot impatiently, still dripping water onto the linoleum, “she’s really not.”

 

Wow, apparently this whole guilt thing also affected how she felt around Laura. Here Laura was, pouring her heart out to Ell, and Ell was lying about dating Danny. If Laura found out Ell wasn’t telling Danny about her and Carmilla she would be...not happy, to say the least.

 

Ell closed her eyes for a moment and prayed for a higher power to intervene.

 

What she got was Danny Lawrence.

 

“Hey guys. Sorry I’m late.  I had to make sure my little siblings were settled first.” She ran a hand through her hair. “Aidan had soccer practice, Jill had softball. I got to go pick them up in a couple of hours.”

 

“So nice of you to finally join us beanstalk.”  Carmilla slid onto the bench next to Laura, handing the pretzel over.

 

“Yeah yeah.  Can it Elvi--why are you soaking wet?”

 

Carmilla shrugged. “Dunno. Rain.”

 

“Uh, it’s clear out.”

 

“She had to wash her hair in the bathroom sink,” Laura answered. Carmilla glared at her.

 

“You had no problem with me and Ell knowing,” Laura pointed out.

 

“Yeah, but I like Red even less.”

 

Danny should have been annoyed. Instead she looked thoughtful. “...Have you checked out the YMCA?”

 

“What?”

 

“The YMCA. I’ve passed one a few times skateboarding around town--have you been on Center Ave? There’s one there. Sometimes they’ll let you sleep there. And the showers are pretty clean.”

 

Ell looked at Danny, confused. Danny continued, “Back home before Ma got a job here we spent a few weeks...in between things. The YMCA helped a lot.”

 

“I COULD KISS YOU DANNY LAWRENCE!” Laura shouted.

 

Danny winced.  “Ah, that’s really not necessary Laura…”

 

She shot a quick glance in Ell’s direction.

 

“Ah… thanks Clifford.  I… guess you have your uses after all.”

 

Carmilla reluctantly ripped off a piece of her pretzel, planning to give it to Danny, until Laura’s glare made her pop it in her mouth instead.

 

“...I didn’t know that,” Ell said softly, looking at Danny.

 

“You didn’t ask. I’m not embarrassed about it.”

 

Ell bit back a response.  After all, it wasn’t like she didn’t have her own secrets from Danny.

 

“Alright,” interrupted Carmilla, “if we do any more of this touchy-feely crap I’m gonna gag.  Let’s go find ourselves a band uniform, yeah?”

 

“Right. Let’s try Aero,” Danny said, getting up, “You guys coming?”

 

“Coming!” Laura said brightly, hopping up and jogging after Danny’s long strides. Ell was about to follow when Carmilla grabbed her shoulder.

 

“Ell.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You and Red,” she said flatly, “Spill it.”

 

Ell turned. “What?”

 

“Come on. The hickey? The wistful glances that have been even worse than usual? Spill it.”

 

Ell glared at her. “You seem to be under the impression that we are friends now or something, Carmilla. I am not dating Danny. Can you please let me go?”

 

Carmilla snorted.  “I can drop it.  But even if you’re not dating Big Red, she was definitely the one to give you the hickey.  She’s the type to be territorial as fuck, but she didn’t even look fazed.  If it wasn’t her, she’d be either foaming at the mouth or still looking like a wounded puppy.”

 

“I do _not_ have a hickey. I--I tripped. Which I told Danny. Maybe, unlike you, she believes me when I tell her things.”

 

Carmilla glared at her. “If you are lying--”

 

“I’m nothing like you, remember?”

 

Honestly Ell didn’t know where the venom came from. But she was being defensive; it just slipped out.

 

Carmilla shrugged.  “Whatever Cinnabon.  I don’t really care.  But if you keep it from Laura, _she_ definitely will.”

 

“As if she has any right to be mad at me,” Ell grumbled.

 

Carmilla rolled her eyes.  “Don’t hurt Laura cause you’re mad at me.”  And then before Ell had time to let that statement sink in, Carmilla followed it with a, “come on.  We better go catch up to those idiots before they put us in something absolutely _ridiculous_.”

 

She flipped her hair--getting some droplets in Ell’s face, which she was _sure_ was on purpose--before walking off in the direction of Laura and Danny. Ell watched her walk away, shaking her head quickly, and followed.

 

Laura and Danny were just about to turn into a store when Carmilla caught Laura by the shoulder.

 

“Absolutely not.  There is _far_ too much pink in that store.”

 

“We don’t need to _buy_ the pink stuff, Carmilla--”

 

“Don’t care. I don’t trust it.”

 

Danny rolled her eyes.  “Then what do you suggest?”

 

Carmilla smirked.  “Glad you asked.  Allow me to direct your attentions.”

 

She pointed across the way and Ell’s heart dropped.  That was a _lot_ of black.

 

“Carmilla, I do not trust anything with spikes,” Ell said, “We are a band, not a battalion.”

 

“Well _Cinnabon_ , we’re called the Slayer Society.  And we’re a rock band.  We have to look at least a little punk.  And for you to pull that look off,” Carmilla gave her a pointed once over, “spikes wouldn’t hurt.”

 

Danny looked absolutely appalled. “No way. No way is Ell-- _anyone_ wearing spikes. Not happening.”

 

“Would _you_ like to pick out her outfit, Red?”

 

“ _Guys_ ,” Laura interrupted, “we’re a band, not a bunch of Catholic school girls.  We have to be coordinated, but we don’t need to be identical.”

 

“Maybe,” Ell ventured, “we can agree on a color palette?  Would that work?”

 

“Red and black,” Carmilla answered immediately.

 

“Must everything be in--you know what, this is the closest thing we will get to a compromise. Fine,” Ell took a breath, “I will wear black.”

 

Danny quirked an eyebrow.  “Okay so if I already have those colors, I don’t need to buy anything, right?  I really don’t way to spend money for a shirt I don’t even need.”

 

“Yeah.  I have a flannel that could work,” Laura chimed in.

 

Carmilla huffed.  “Fine.  I’ll get new clothes cause these ones are falling apart.  And we can all help Ell find something edgier than her little miss sunshine routine.  Happy?”

 

Everyone agreed. Ell nodded reluctantly. Black and red. Picked out with help from _Carmilla._ She’d worn Carmilla’s clothes before, but she’d never really liked how they looked on her. She was loathe to take her fashion advice.

 

“Alright, first things first,” Carmilla said, cracking her knuckles, “Let’s find something edgy for you, Cinnabon.”

 

“Okay, but what do we mean by ‘edgy’?” Ell asked as she was practically pushed in, “Are we talking ‘square instead of circle’ edgy, or like an octagon or something--”

 

“Shut up and let me work.”

 

Carmilla rummaged through racks of clothing, tossing various shirts and jackets to Laura, who held out her arms for her. Danny crossed her arms and stood next to Ell.

 

“...Any way we could sneak back here after we leave?” Danny whispered. Ell’s eyes flicked toward Laura and Carmilla, who were talking in low tones to each other.

 

“Shh. Laura and Carmilla might hear you.”

 

“Is that a yes?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Okay,” Carmilla said, turning to Ell.  “Take these and try them on.”

 

She shoved a huge stack of clothes into Ell’s arms and pushed her in the direction of the changing room.

 

“No,” Ell mumbled to herself, pulling clothes from the pile and throwing them away, “No, no, _no,_ definitely not--wait. This actually isn’t horrible.”

 

It was a plain black shirt and a pullover sweater, with a diamond pattern cut into it.  She slipped them on and stepped out of the changing room to await judgment.

 

“Aw that looks cute Ell!”  Laura smiled.

 

Carmilla just smirked, “I _thought_ you might go with that Cinnabon.”

 

Ell crossed her arms defensively.  “So?  It was in the pile!”

 

Danny gave her a thumbs up.  “Looks good Ell.”

 

She gave Laura and Danny an appreciative smile, ignoring Carmilla, and turned around to head back into the changing room.

 

Laura let out a small “eep!” which had Ell immediately turning back around.

 

“What?”

 

Danny and Laura were suddenly avoiding eye contact while Carmilla was smirking even wider.  That… did not bode well.

 

“I…” Laura looked uncomfortable, like she was trying to phrase something delicately.  “was that one of _my_ old bras?”

 

Heat flooded Ell’s cheeks as realization struck.

 

“Carmilla!”

 

Carmilla raised her hands defensively.  “You were the one who picked it out of the pile.”

 

“Because I thought it was the only G-rated thing in there!  Why didn’t you tell me the back was _sheer?”_

 

Carmilla gave her a look.  “What, I’m just supposed to tell you everything you might find objectionable in _any_ of the clothes I handed you?  I’m not a mind reader.”

 

Ell closed her eyes and mentally counted to five.  “...I hate you so much.”

 

“Don’t blame me because you can’t accept you can look damn fine if you wanted to, Cinnabon--”

 

“GOODBYE.”

 

Ell stalked into the changing room.  She ignored the sound of Carmilla snickering behind her.

 

Once inside, she blew out a puff of air and tried to decide what to wear.  Carmilla’s clothing choices were… less than acceptable.  Obviously.  But maybe if she…?

 

Ell gingerly peeled off what she was wearing and pulled on a long sleeved shirt that had rips all over it.  Seriously, why would anyone buy clothing that was already ripped?  Isn’t that when it should be replaced?  On top of that she layered a red top with _way_ too low of a neckline for her to have previously considered.  

 

Ell eyed herself in the mirror.  Apart either of them would have exposed a ton of skin.  But together?  It was...sort of acceptable?

 

She walked back out after carefully checking herself in the mirror for anything on the back she hadn’t noticed. Carmilla’s eyebrows raised, and she nodded.

 

“Not bad, Cinnabon. Definitely not bad.”

 

“Thank you, Carmilla,” Ell answered curtly. She looked at Laura; she smiled when she received a thumbs-up. Ell looked at Danny.

 

“Dan--”

 

Ell stopped. Danny’s eyes were wide and she looked like she was too shocked to speak.

 

Did Ell really look that bad?

 

“You… you look… _wow_.”

 

Carmilla snickered.  “Really eloquent there Clifford.  But I’m sure she got that from the eye sex vibes you were sending her anyway.”

 

Ell blushed red. “You are being really disgusting,” she said, looking at Danny (but very much meaning Carmilla).

 

Danny flushed.  “Sorry!  Sorry I--”

 

“No!” Ell interrupted, “I meant Carmilla.  Carmilla is being absolutely gross.”

 

“Oh, just _make out_ already,” Carmilla answered, rolling her eyes. Danny wrinkled her nose.

 

“Wow, you are right, Carmilla _is_ disgusting. Seriously, Carmilla? What the Hell?”

 

Laura looked back and forth between all of them. “What are you guys--”

 

“You shouldn’t mess with us, Carmilla, because it’s my turn to pick out _your_ clothes,” Ell interrupted.

 

Carmilla’s brow furrowed. “In what world did I agree to let you pick out _my_ clothes?”

 

“It’s only fair,” Danny pointed out.

 

Carmilla scoffed, but Laura nudged her.  “Carm, you _did_ send her in with all those awful clothes.”

 

Carmilla glared at Ell, but stuck her nose up.  “Fine.  Do your worst.  Everything here will be fine anyway.”

 

Ell grinned.  “Oh no.  Why on earth did you think we’re staying here?  I’m paying for these and then we’re going to the store of _my_ choice.”

  
  
Her eyes widened. “Whoa, whoa, I do not care how much I like Laura, I am not fucking shopping at _Limited Too--”_

 

“Whoever said we were doing that?” Ell turned quickly. “Come on, we’ll go to H&M.”

 

Carmilla glared, but Laura nudged her and she shuffled forward.

 

Danny caught Ell’s gaze, mouthing, ‘whipped’ over Carmilla’s head and Ell smirked in response.  

 

After a quick change and a pit stop at the register to pay for Ell’s new clothes, they wandered down to find the H&M.

 

Carmilla was clearly dragging her feet, looking for every excuse to waste time.  

 

Ell tolerated the stop at Teavana for the free tea sample, the trip into Brookstone to play with the massage chairs, and even the stop at Starbucks because Carmilla claimed that the tea had made her more thirsty.  

 

But eventually she had to put her foot down.

 

“NO. Carmilla, if we go into Barnes and Noble, you know I will not leave for hours. Nice try. Very nice try.”

 

Carmilla glared as Ell finally maneuvered them all into H&M.  Ell tapped her chin with a smirk.  “Now what should I have you try on first?”

 

“Oh! Oh!” Laura waved her hand in the air, bouncing, “Can I help? Please?”

 

“Why not Laura!” Ell answered, putting her hands on her hips and surveying the store. “Come on. Danny, you’re in charge of making sure Carmilla doesn’t run.”

 

“Will do,” Danny said with a grin, putting a hand on Carmilla’s shoulder.

 

“...I have been living on the streets for several months,” Carmilla said, “I know how to fight men  twice your size, Clifford.”

 

Danny didn’t say anything, Carmilla’s answer seeming to not affect her good mood in the least.

 

Up ahead, Ell and Laura seemed far too excited about the prospect of dressing Carmilla up.

 

“Okay but what about this?”  Ell held up a shirt with little pink bows on it.

 

“Aw that’s so cute.  Okay.  But what about this?”  Laura held up a sweater covered in cats.

 

“Fitting. But wait,” Ell held up a sweater with an owl on it. “Tell me this isn’t the ugliest thing you have ever seen, I _dare_ you.”

 

“...I own that shirt.”

 

“OKAY wait I think I found a better one!”

 

Carmilla moved to stand by the wall and began banging her head against it.  “Why me, why me, why me…”

 

Danny stifled laughter as Laura’s voice floated on over.

 

“Don’t damage that pretty face of yours Carm!  I’m dating you for your looks!”

 

“Ah, the great mystery has been answered,” Danny said, eliciting a death glare.

 

“Okay, Laura, these are all way too nice,” Ell said.

 

“You’re right.”

 

They stared at each other for a moment, before shouting in unison:

 

“CLEARANCE BIN!”

 

“I WILL BREAK UP WITH YOU!” Carmilla exclaimed.

 

“No you won’t,” Laura answered, practically skipping over with Ell to dig through the bin full of clothes no one else wanted.

 

Ell squealed, “oh she’s got to try this one!” Ell pulled out a bright pink fuzzy sweater with the words ‘I’m a princess’ emblazoned across the front.

 

Carmilla growled.  “Enough of this nonsense.  Hand me a few things that I might _actually wear_ and let’s get this over with.”

 

“Fine,” Ell answered, “Let’s see...oh wow. This is _perfect.”_

 

Laura looked over.  “What?  Let me see!”

 

Carmilla just groaned and ran a hand down her face.

 

“But--but that’s actually kind of cute, though, Ell.”

 

“I know, but she’s going to have to try it on. It has black in it.”

 

Carmilla looked over.  “Oh hell no.  If that counts as having black then I’m the fucking Queen of Sheba.”

 

Laura pouted at her.  “Pleaseeee Carm?  Try it on for me?”

 

Carmilla glared for another second before snatching the shirt from Ell.  “Which way are the goddamn changing rooms?”

 

“Back there,” Laura said, pecking Carmilla on the cheek as she walked past, “You’re awesome!”

 

Ell and Danny started laughing as soon as she disappeared, holding each other to keep balance. Danny smiled.

 

“Wow, you guys are acting diabolical.”

 

“Danny, did you get to see what she’s trying on?” Ell asked, “Seriously, you are going to love this.”

 

Danny grinned.  “No.  I didn’t.  Why?  What is it?”

 

Laura put her finger over her lips, “shhh.  Just wait till she comes out wearing it.”

 

They all waited, Laura and Ell rubbing their hands together in anticipation.

 

“...This is taking awhile for a shirt, guys.”

 

“Carmilla Karnstein, come out here _right now!_ I know you have it on!”

 

Laura walked to the back, knocking on the door. “Come on!”

 

“I don’t wanna.”

 

“Come _on.”_ Laura repeated.

 

For a moment there was no answer, and then Carmilla opened the door, standing with her arms crossed tightly in front of her chest.

 

“Happy now?”

 

Danny put a hand over her mouth. “...Are those…?”

 

“Giraffes, yes,” Ell answered, “And Carmilla _rocks_ giraffes, doesn’t she?”

 

Danny snickered. “Oh yeah.  They’re totally her spirit animal.  And I say _spirit_ because Carmilla in real life is just a tiny pipsqueak.  Height is definitely not something she was gifted with.”

 

“I’ll show _you_ pipsqueak you enormous beanst--”

 

Carmilla was cut off in her approach by a side hug from Laura.

 

“Carm!  You’re _so cute_ .  You _have_ to buy this one.”

 

She pouted for a moment, then sighed, wrapping her arm around Laura.

 

“Okay. But,” Carmilla turned her attention to the wall, “Only if I get that red leather jacket over there to go with it.”

 

“But you promise not to zip it up so you can’t see the giraffes, right?”

 

“I make no such promises.”

 

“Carm!” Laura said, stamping her foot.

 

Carmilla smirked, sweeping Laura up into her embrace and leaning down to whisper something in her ear.  Laura went bright red.

 

“Hurry it up lovebirds,” Danny called.

 

Laura pulled away from Carmilla still blushing while Carmilla shot Danny a glare.  Danny gave her an unimpressed look.

 

Ell gravitated toward Danny, close enough to share glances but far enough that they didn’t look too friendly.

 

Carmilla walked up to the counter, pulling out her wallet and producing a couple of crumpled dollar bills. Laura grabbed her wrist.

 

“Carmilla, _no.”_

 

“Cupcake, these are my clothes. I am using my money.”

 

“You can barely--” Laura lowered her voice, “You just had to wash your hair in the bathroom, and you expect me to let you spend money on clothes?”

 

Carmilla blushed. “I do _not_ need anyone carrying me, Laura. Now let go.”

 

“ _No._ It is my birthday gift to you.”

 

“...My birthday isn’t until December. Nice try.”

 

“I don’t care, take. My. Money.”

 

“Read my lips Laura.   _No_.”

 

“Belated Valentine’s gift!”

 

Carmilla shot her an unimpressed look.

 

“3 month anniversary gift!  That’s coming up really soon!   _Please Carm_.”

 

She looked at the very uncomfortable cashier, then back at Laura, and sighed. She closed her eyes for a moment and stuffed her wallet in her pocket.

 

“Fine,” she answered gruffly, walking out of the store. Laura bit her lip, paid for the clothes, and power-walked after her.

 

Ell and Danny shared a glance.

 

“Should we… go after them?”

 

Danny gave her a look.  “We should probably give them a moment.”

 

“Right. Ugh. But my friend needs backup, it just feels weird not to do anything.” Ell said, watching Laura grab Carmilla and spin her around.

 

“Well, yeah, but what are you going to do?” Danny asked, smiling at Ell.

 

“...Yeah. I offer no knowledge that could help Laura talk to Carmilla at all.”

 

For a moment they stood side by side, watching Laura and Carmilla talk animatedly in low tones they couldn’t make out.

 

“Promise me we are not going to be like that,” Danny said.

 

“They aren’t a bad couple,” Ell answered hastily; it _was_ her best friend Danny was talking about.

 

“No. I mean we’ll talk to each other, you know? And not be afraid to ask for help if you need anything. Not that I don’t know what Carmilla is going through,” she frowned, “Being homeless kind of sucks, to say the least.”

 

Ell put a comforting hand on Danny’s shoulder.  “Hey.  If you ever want to talk about it, you know I’m always happy to listen, right?”

 

Danny shot her a smile.  “Yeah.  But I told you.  It was fine.  And unlike Carmilla I wasn’t on my own.”

 

Laura put her arms around Carmilla’s waist; Carmilla didn’t look particularly thrilled, but she didn’t push Laura away.

 

“...Carmilla isn’t alone, either,” Ell said, “She just won’t admit it.”

 

Danny smiled at her.  “Yeah.  I think you’re right about that.”

 

Laura and Carmilla broke apart, and Laura motioned them over.

 

“Hey, guys,” Laura said, “Let’s go home and practice, okay?”

 

“Is Carm--”

 

“Drop it, Cinnabon.”

 

Ell looked at Laura instead.

 

“Laura?”

 

“We’re fine.”

 

“Oh-kayyy.  Well I guess we’ll go then.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Fine.”

 

“Um…” Danny looked between all of them, “fine by me I guess?”

 

Ell and Danny fell behind them as they all walked. “So, Ell, are we going to…?”

 

“No,” Ell whispered back, “I can’t.”

 

“Why?”

 

She looked back at Laura, biting her lip. “Laura needs me. She and Carmilla are fighting. She needs Veronica Mars marathons and ice cream and I need to make sure she doesn’t do anything stupid like raid her father’s liquor cabinet and try and drunkenly call Carmilla on the phone.”

 

Danny raised an eyebrow at her. “Wait, what?”

 

Ell flushed. “Believe me, that kind of thing happens. I’ve, uh...I’ve heard of other people doing it.” And almost succeeding until Laura tossed the cell phone out the window.

 

Danny sighed but smiled.  “You’re just too good of a person Ell.  Sure.  We can meet up some other time.”

 

Ell smiled back.  Was it bad that she was a little relieved?  “Thank you for being so understanding.”

 

“Course. Wish I could kiss you goodnight though--”

 

Ell pecked Danny on the lips while Carmilla and Laura were still staring resolutely ahead.

 

“Goodnight,” Ell whispered, before jogging ahead to catch up with Laura.

  
When Ell glanced back, Danny was giving her a goofy smile which Ell shyly returned.  Ell blew out a breath as she faced forward.  She could do this.  She could be a good friend and date Danny Lawrence and not hurt anyone in the process.  She could totally do this.


	12. Chapter 12

It ended up being about what Ell had expected that night--a lot of netflix, and ice cream, and Laura crying on Ell’s shoulder about ‘stupid stubborn girlfriends’ and ‘how did you put up with her,  _ how’  _ and ‘things would be so much better if she just put aside her ego and was  _ honest _ with me’ while Ell patted Laura on the shoulder sympathetically.  Ell had to fight  _ hard _ to keep the smile off her face and the empathetic look in place when Danny sent her traditional goodnight text.  Was it bad to be so happy while your best friend was so miserable?

 

Ell managed to wean Laura off of her misery after a few days, but LaFontaine diagnosed Laura with an acute case of ‘tinius mopius lesbianus’ for two weeks; the worst possible time for Laura and Carmilla to be fighting. 

Or, not ‘fighting’ in Laura’s words. Just...being weird. But they had two more weeks until competition. Laura and Carmilla couldn’t afford to be weird. Not that it actually affected their performances at rehearsal, but--well, it just bothered Ell. Especially when her morning makeout sessions in the practice room with Danny were still going strong. 

  
  


OKAY ARE YOU GUYS BROKEN UP OR NOT? Ell finally flashlighted at Laura one night. 

 

YOU REALIZE SHE IS SLEEPING NEXT TO ME RIGHT NOW RIGHT

 

Ell flushed. 

 

WELL WELL GOOD FOR YOU

 

I DON’T KNOW I JUST WANT TO HELP HER AND SHE WON’T LET ME

 

Ell could practically hear the frustration in Laura’s tone.

 

AT LEAST SHE’S SLEEPING INSIDE RIGHT NOW?

 

There was a beat of silence.

 

CARM WANTS TO KNOW WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT AND I SAID WE WERE TALKING ABOUT YOU AND DANNY SORRY

 

WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF--

 

Ell dropped the flashlight. She scrambled to pick it back up. 

 

YOU KNOW MY LIFE REVOLVES AROUND MORE THAN MY NOT-DATING DANNY YOU REALLY COULD NOT THINK OF LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE

 

I PANICKED

 

PLEASE TALK TO CARMILLA SOON I DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I CAN PRETEND TO HAVE A LOVE LIFE

 

Ell winced even as she sent it.  She knew it was less about not having a love life and more about having to lie about having one.  The lies to Danny, the lies to Laura, the lies to Carmilla… it was all starting to pile up rather quickly.

 

ALRIGHT SEE YOU TOMORROW AT SCHOOL AND PRACTICE? 

 

SURE OF COURSE

 

And, because she felt bad, Ell added: 

 

AND WE SHOULD TOTALLY WEAR THE SHIRTS

 

OMG WE SHOULD TOTALLY WEAR THE SHIRTS

 

ARE WE WEARING THE SHIRTS THEN?    
  


HELL YEAH

 

Ell grinned.  They hadn’t worn their shirts since they’d semi-split as friends.  She had kind of missed wearing them.

 

The history of the shirts tracked all the way back to a middle school Christmas.  

 

Laura had been referring to them for a while as L squared which middle-school Ell had thought was the most clever thing in the world.  Laura joked that they needed t-shirts to make it official.  And so that was how Ell ended up with a handmade shirt sporting in big letters “BFF=L^2” across the front.  Laura had one to match.

 

Ell remembered that her throat had closed up when she saw it.  She had known for ages that they were best friends, but a shirt seemed so  _ permanent _ .  

 

From then on, they’d worn the t-shirts quite a bit, but always as a pair.  Never separately.  Their parents had occasionally gotten into the habit of referring to them as L squared.  A lot of their other friends at school did too.  Even a couple of their teachers had gotten into it.

 

The t-shirts cemented what they’d already known.  Ell and Laura were a pair.

 

Of course, the importance of the t-shirts may have also been why Ell had balled hers up and thrown it in Laura’s face as soon as she’d found out that her former best friend was dating her ex.  It had hurt to let go of, but there was something vindicating about being able to literally throw their friendship in Laura’s face since Laura had already metaphorically done it.

 

When the t-shirt arrived back on her doorstep in a bag littered with what was so clearly an apology (an ode to their favorite candy, a few of their favorite movies, even a new mixtape), Ell had promptly thrown the rest of the apology out.  But somehow she couldn’t bring herself to throw out the t-shirt.  

 

So it had disappeared into the depths of her closet, pushed as far back as she could shove it.

 

Until now.

***

 

All in all Ell was having a good day. They were having a casual day at school, which meant Ell was free to wear the L Squared t-shirts with Laura. Which led to a lot of tearful hugging and promises to never fight again as Danny looked on in amusement. 

 

“Glad you guys are cool,” she said, smiling at Ell. 

 

“You know how we need to celebrate, right?” Laura asked, looking at her as well. 

 

“Ice cream?” 

 

“ _ Ice cream.  _ Want to meet us there after school, Danny? You should come.” 

 

“Ah… are you sure I wouldn’t be intruding on best friend time?”

 

“Nope!” Laura said with a smile, popping the ‘p.’  She shot a significant glance at Ell who tried to ignore the look.  Laura had to be the least subtle human being in all of history.

 

Danny smiled, “yeah sure.  I’d love to come.”

 

“Awesome!” Laura exclaimed, “See you later!” 

 

“...Laura, whatever you say, I am not sharing a bowl of ice cream with her,” Ell said, walking away, “Just so you know.” 

 

Laura stopped, looking at Ell. “Who do you take me for, Ell? I would  _ never  _ try and get you to share ice cream. I’m not  _ stupid.” _

 

Ell laughed, and she was so happy with the official full restoration of her friendship that she felt less guilty than she had in days. When they went to get ice cream after school and walked back to Laura’s house holding ice cream cones, Ell almost felt like she wasn’t even lying. Danny was standing in the middle of the two of them, offering them shade since she was the tallest, and she honestly couldn’t have been happier. 

 

Ell was in the middle of laughing about Danny and Laura playfully bickering over ice cream flavors (“But that can’t be your  _ favorite _ .  Strawberry is so boring!”  “Well we can’t all be sugar demons like you Hollis.”) when they started to hear shouting.  It sounded like it was coming from Laura’s house.

 

The three of them looked at each other warily, before silently agreeing to moving slightly quicker towards Laura’s house.  By the time they were coming up on it, they were jogging and slightly out of breath.

 

“Yeah cause this is a real help now Willie boy!  After I’ve been on the streets for months!”

 

“At least I came! Doesn’t that count for anything?” 

 

Ell couldn’t see the face of the boy talking to Carmilla; his back was turned to the three of them. But she could see Carmilla’s, and she was absolutely enraged. Her face was red, jaw set. 

 

“Yeah, because you want your fucking drum kit.” 

 

“Kitty be reasonabl--”

 

“I’m done with your ‘reasonable’ bullshit Will.  Reasonable wouldn’t have been leaving your sister to starve!  Reasonable wouldn’t have been letting her go homeless.  Don’t give me your reasonable bullshit!”

 

Laura’s hand edged to her pocket. Ell knew exactly what she was thinking. Pepper spray. She looked at Ell and Danny, making an ‘I’m watching you’ motion at them before pointing to Will. 

 

Ell swallowed, and Danny put a protective hand on her shoulder before nodding at Danny grimly.

 

Carmilla spotted them first.

 

“Oh great.  Just what I needed,” she muttered.

 

Will whirled around to look at them as Carmilla rolled her eyes.

 

“Relax Laura.  He’s an ass, but he’s not dangerous.  He’s pretty useless that way.”

 

“You know, you’re not the only one with problems,” Will snapped, looking back at her, “It’s not like I’m swimming in money to give you.” 

 

“Shut up, douchebag. It’s not like you were brother of the year before this either.” 

 

“Oh,  _ come on,”  _ Will groaned. He spotted Ell. “Hey. You’re her girlfriend, can you talk some sense into her?” 

 

Danny spluttered out a polite cough.  “Um, don’t you mean Laura?”  She gestured to Laura whose face had gone a little red.

 

“Um no?  I mean I know they’re practically twins, but I know which one is dating my sister.  It’s Ell.”

 

Ell imagined this was what it felt like when the captain of the Titanic hit the iceberg. Massive, instantaneous panic. 

 

“Will--I--you are wrong. I have never met you. And I was never dating Carmilla.” 

 

“The pictures of Carmilla kissing your cheek I saw on her phone says otherwise.” 

 

Danny’s jaw dropped, staring at Ell in disbelief. “What. The. Hell.” 

 

“...We were gal pals?” 

 

“YOU WERE DATING CARMILLA?” 

 

“Danny, I can explain--” 

 

“YOU DID NOT TELL YOUR GIRLFRIEND THAT SHE WAS HELPING HER EX GIRLFRIEND--” 

 

“Wait,  _ girlfriend?”  _ Laura stared at Ell now, “You  _ are  _ dating Danny?”

 

Carmilla crossed her arms, tilting her head up slightly. “How do I look? Do I look like I’m surprised? Because I’m not.” 

 

“Wait, wait, you both broke up?” Will asked. He ran a hand through his hair. “Are you serious? And she left her for the  _ other  _ Ell?” 

 

Carmilla looked at Ell for a long moment before saying, “Will, Ell outed me out to Mom. Kind of a deal breaker.” 

 

“That was way less intentional than she made it sound!” Ell assured Danny, looking back at her, “And yes, Danny and I are dating,” she continued, looking at Laura, “And Carmilla seriously  _ not helping.”  _

 

Carmilla shrugged. “Is it bad to dig a grave for someone who’s already dead?” 

 

There was a beat of silence and then the room exploded into sound again.

 

“I tell you everything and I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell me you were dating--”

 

“It’s a sign of trust in relationships that you  _ tell your girlfriend  _ important things--”

 

“Wait seriously if you got Kitty kicked out of the house, I’m going to have to kick your ass--”

 

“--and outing someone.  Seriously Ell?  That’s like cardinal sin number one!  I can’t  _ believe _ you would--”

 

“--and what about those times I told you I was  _ so glad _ we could tell each other about anything again!  What were you just laughing in my face because--”

 

“SHUT UP!” Ell exclaimed. She held the sides of her head, shutting her eyes tight, breathing shallow. “I...I...I cannot do this. Somebody needs to leave. I am honestly having a panic attack right now. I can’t think.” 

 

“Okay but what the fuck is this about her kicking you out of the house Sugar-Puss?” 

 

Carmilla narrowed her eyes. “Leave. You are an asshole.” 

 

“You are my sister, this is my problem too--” 

 

A shadow fell over Will, and he looked up at Danny. 

 

“Get. The fuck.  _ Out.”  _

 

Will swallowed. “...I expect a call, Carmilla. And I still want my drums back.” 

 

“Fuck you.” 

 

Will shoved his hands in his pockets. Danny grabbed the garage door and brought it down with a vicious  _ slam,  _ turning back on Ell. Who had, at this point, sat down on the ground with her chin resting on her knees. 

 

“Ell. Ell you cannot get out of this. Of all of the horrible things you could have done, how could you  _ out  _ somebody--” 

 

“I did not  _ out  _ her,” Ell said, “I did not do it on purpose. Carmilla  _ lied  _ to me.” 

 

Danny looked at Carmilla, arms crossed in front of her. 

 

“I may have neglected to tell Ell I wasn’t out to my family,” Carmilla said, looking down at the floor. 

 

“We were dating for a whole  _ year _ .  You’d met my parents like a dozen times!  And you kept dodging me when I asked why I hadn’t met your family so of  _ course _ I tried to introduce myself to your mom.  I was just trying to be polite!”

 

Carmilla tossed her a glare.  “You didn’t stop to think maybe if I hadn’t introduced you yet, I  _ had a reason _ ?”

 

“‘Hey Ell, I don’t feel safe being out to my mother’. That is all you had to say. I would have understood. What did you think I was going to do?” 

 

“I don’t know. Maybe I was just embarrassed. Maybe I didn’t want the pity. But you still ruined my life whether you meant to or not--” 

 

“You think I don’t  _ care? _ What has the past three months been? Danny--” 

 

Ell stopped. Danny’s eyes were turning red. “You lied to me,” Danny said, “You lied to me for almost two months before we started dating, and then you  _ kept  _ lying to me.  You lied to me for the entire time we’ve known each other.”  Danny shook her head as if to clear it.  “Do I even know who you are?”

 

Ell tentatively reached out a hand, but Danny quickly backed away, still shaking her head.

 

“Danny, I am sorry. I am so sorry and I swear that is all I lied about--” 

 

“I am not doing this,” Danny looked back and forth between Carmilla and Laura, “I don’t back out on a promise. I’ll stay in the band for you guys. But I can’t do this today. I’ll...we can pick up tomorrow. But I need to cool down.” 

 

Ell could only watch as Danny opened the garage door and stomped off. She looked down at the ground. 

 

“I just got dumped,” Ell said, “Guys, I am so sorry for the drama--” 

 

She was interrupted by a soft  _ foop  _ as something was whipped at Ell’s head, covering her eyes. She clutched at it and saw the familiar  _ BFF=L^2  _ embroidered on it. Laura stood in front of Ell, fists bunched. She’d had the giraffe shirt on underneath. 

 

“I told you everything,” Laura said slowly. 

 

“Laura I didn’t mean for this--” 

 

“The day Carmilla and I were together I told you. I was in  _ tears.  _ But I told you. Because we were best friends. I could never not tell you something as important as that.” 

 

“Danny wasn’t your  _ ex  _ Laura, it’s a little different!” 

 

“Don’t even! That’s not the point! How long were you both together?  _ How long?”  _

 

“...Two and a half weeks.” 

 

“You were lying to me for two and a half weeks. And you know what the worst part is? I should have known. I think part of me  _ did  _ know. But I kept telling myself there was no way, because you would never not tell me that, you would never sneak around with one of my  _ friends  _ and make me feel like an  _ idiot.”  _

 

Carmilla added, “I knew that would come back to bite you--” 

 

“And  _ you,”  _ Laura turned on Carmilla, “You  _ knew?  _ You figured it out and you didn’t tell me?” 

 

“You just said part of you knew!” 

 

“Yeah, but you didn’t know that! And if you were so sure, why didn’t you tell Danny? Why would you let her lie to Danny? Why would you keep something from me when we promised not to do that?” 

 

“Laura, calm down--” 

 

“I will not calm down!” Laura threw her hands in the air, pacing back and forth, “I am trying so hard to make this work, even though our entire relationship was built on the foundation of me betraying my best friend, and so far I feel like you think to be a good girlfriend all you have to do is call me cute names and be really good in bed! That can only work for  _ so long!  _ When you actually need to do important stuff, like be willing to  _ talk  _ to me about things, and be  _ honest,  _ you won’t do it. Why can’t you understand that seeing you have to shower at the YMCA or wear the same clothes for three days  _ hurts me too?  _ But you don’t care, because your ego is so big.” 

 

Laura stopped her ranting, taking deep breaths. “...Carmilla, we are  _ done. _ I will see you both tomorrow. At practice. I’m doing the band but--but Danny is right. I can’t deal with this anymore either.” 

 

Carmilla stared at Laura walking into the house, shocked. Ell stared ahead at the wall, starting to tear up. She pressed her palms against the corners of her eyes. 

 

“I--I ruined  _ everything-- _ this was all my fault--I lost my best friend and my girlfriend--” 

 

“In one glorious fuck up,” Carmilla said, looking down at the floor, leaning back against the wall. Ell looked at her. 

 

“Look, are you here to yell at me too?” 

 

“For being dishonest?” Carmilla shook her head. “That’d be kind of hypocritical of me, wouldn’t it? You  _ were  _ a dumbass.” 

 

“Carmilla, I’m sorry.” 

 

“Sorry doesn’t get me back together with Laura.” Carmilla answered, voice low and tired. 

 

“No. For talking to your mom. For outing you. For being so angry that you were happy with Laura even though I had no right to be mad at you.” 

 

She shook her head. “You know what? I will make you a deal. Instead of playing niceties and apologizing, why don’t we focus on getting out of this mess? Because the song we’re practicing for the competition still feels totally wrong, our girlfriends just broke up with us, and I am way more worried about that than I am about you.” 

 

Carmilla walked forward, extending a hand. “Get up and stop being so whiny.” 

 

It was oddly kind. Ell took the hand gingerly. “Thanks.” 

 

Carmilla grunted, “don’t thank me yet Cinnabon.”

 

Ell wiped the dirt off her pants from the garage floor. “What do we do now?” 

 

“I don’t know. I’ve always been the one doing the dumping. I’ve never had to get a girl back.” 

 

Ell’s brow furrowed.  “Well don’t ask  _ me _ .  My only other ex ended up dating my best friend a week later.”  

 

Carmilla snorted.  “Point taken.”

 

Ell held her head in her hands. “I don’t know what to do. It’s not like I can  _ do  _ anything. I’ve got nothing.” 

 

“Yeah, and I  _ literally-- _ wait,” Carmilla looked at Ell critically. “Get me a pen.” 

 

“What?” 

 

“GET ME A PEN.” 

 

“Okay, okay!” 

 

When Ell handed Carmilla a pen, Carmilla was already pacing frantically, muttering to herself.

 

“Okay paper now.”  Carmilla held out her hand.

 

“Um I didn’t bring any…?”

 

“You didn’t bring any paper?!?!”  Carmilla’s eyes were wide and wild and Ell shrank back.

 

“Um...no?”

 

“Ugh,” Carmilla ran a hand through her hair, “well no time to get some.  We’re just going to have to make due before I forget.”

 

Carmilla scanned the room looking for something to write on.  But it was blank.

 

“Damn.  Okay Cinnabon you’re it.”

 

“I’m...what?”

 

Without bothering to respond to Ell’s question, Carmilla grabbed her arm, yanking her forward.  She uncapped the pen with her teeth and began to scribble on Ell’s arm.

 

“H-hey!  What are you doing?  Cut it out!”

 

“Shut up and let me work,” Carmilla answered. She kept up the scribbling and Ell yelped when she dotted an i with a flourish. “...Okay. What do you think?” 

 

“‘I’ve got nothing, I’ve got nothing left to give you’. Okay?” 

 

“Those are  _ song lyrics,  _ dumbass.” 

 

“Hey!” Ell eyed her arm again. “I mean, that’s cool, but it’s one line.”

 

“You’re going to help me write the rest.” 

 

“When did I agree to this?” 

 

Carmilla walked back and forth. “No, Ell, come on. This is perfect. What better material for a song than our fucked up love lives?” 

 

“You want to write a song about Danny and Laura…?” 

 

“You and Danny. Me and Laura. The two of us--mostly the two of us. Come on. There’s plenty of material.” 

 

Ell worried her lip between her teeth.

 

“You don’t think that they’ll get upset if we broadcast our problems to the world?”

 

Carmilla scoffed.  “No one else will know it’s about them.  Besides, writing a song about your significant other is textbook singer-songwriter.  And romance 101.  Two birds, one stone, all that jazz.”

 

“This is not going to work. I don’t write music. I play it.” 

 

“One way to find out,” Carmilla grabbed her guitar case, “Grab your keyboard, Cinnabon. We’re taking this to your house.”

 

Ell took a very brief moment to appreciate the irony of  _ Carmilla  _ being the only friend she now had, but went to pack up the keyboard. She appreciated the effort Carmilla was making, even if she was certain this was not going to go well at all. 

 

***

 

_ “And you call me on the phone, and you say you wanna talk. You’re in too deep, then you slip and you fall BUT I GOT NOTHING OH I GOT NOTHING--” _ Carmilla stopped. 

 

Carmilla held up a hand. “Wait wait wait.” 

 

Ell stopped her piano playing. “Yeah?” 

 

“Can we take a pause there? After ‘fall’. Like three seconds. For  _ dramatic emphasis.”  _

 

“You always were such a drama queen.”  Carmilla arched a brow at her and Ell relented.  It probably  _ would _ sound better that way.  “...okay sure.”

 

Carmilla made a face at her, but her face was still scrunched in concentration.

 

“Okay let’s take that from the last chorus?”

 

“Sure.” 

 

Carmilla looked ridiculous. They were in Ell’s family room; Carmilla was using a wooden spoon for a microphone. Apparently she needed to practice so she would be ready to use a real one. 

 

_ “And you call me on the phone and you say you wanna talk. You’re in too deep, then you slip and you fall…”  _

 

Carmilla stopped for a few beats before belting out, “BUT I GOT NOTHING, OH I GOT NOTHING, OH I GOT NOTHING FOR YOU!” 

 

“That...sounded... _ kind of  _ awesome,” Ell said, smiling. 

 

Carmilla smirked, “well of course it did.   _ I _ was singing.”  Ell made a face at that, but Carmilla tossed a, “you weren’t so bad yourself Cinnabon,” over her shoulder so Ell kept her mouth shut.

 

They rehearsed it twice more and each time Ell grew a little more excited.  Carmilla had been right about the last song being off.  This one just  _ fit _ .

 

She hoped Laura and Danny thought so too.  She bit her lip just thinking about it.  God how awkward was band practice going to be?

 

“Hellooooo,” Carmilla was suddenly in her space waving a hand and Ell let out a startled squeak, “earth to space cadet.  I asked if you wanted to run that bit again?”

 

“Uh sure,” Ell pushed aside thoughts of her crumbling other relationships and focused on the piano and the music in front of her.  It could wait.

 


	13. Chapter 13

They kept writing the song until midnight, when Ell had to finally give up and tell Carmilla she needed sleep.

 

“Christ, Cinnabon, I almost forgot how much of a lightweight you are when it comes to staying up late. What kind of seventeen year old goes to bed before 2 AM on a Friday night?”

 

“The same one who was just dumped and lost her best friend. Emotional exhaustion is doing a number on me, okay?”

 

Carmilla softened slightly. “I’ll be back in the morning to finish the lyrics before Red and Laura show up.”

 

“Carmilla, where are you going to sleep? You can’t exactly--I mean, yeah.”

 

She shrugged. “I can take care of myself. And before you ask--ex girlfriend. Not happening. But I appreciate the offer you were probably about to make.”

 

Ell relaxed a little. She was worried for her, but she would be lying if she said she wasn’t dreading the thought.

 

“Okay. I’ll see you.”

 

“Cool,” Carmilla turned to leave. “And Ell?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“...Sorry about you and Clifford. Hang in there--you were always pretty damn sensitive.”

 

She left, leaving Ell alone.

 

The fact that _Carmilla_ was the only one still talking to her and being her friend was certainly not lost on Ell. She sighed, getting up and walking upstairs. She didn’t even put on pajamas before crawling into bed--but she did grab her flashlight.

 

LAURA I KNOW YOU ARE MAD. AND I DO NOT EXPECT YOU TO ANSWER THIS. BUT I AM SORRY. I AM SO SORRY AND I AM A HORRIBLE FRIEND AND YOU DESERVE TO NEVER FORGIVE ME JUST LIKE DANNY

 

Ell paused, and then finished:

 

BUT I STILL LOVE YOU BECAUSE WE ARE BEST FRIENDS. AND I KNOW CARMILLA LOVES YOU TOO. GOODNIGHT

 

Ell waited for a few minutes, but when she saw no movement from the window across the way, she sighed and turned away to sleep.  Tomorrow was another day.  Laura would forgive her eventually, right?

 

*

 

Ell woke to the sound of banging on her front door.

 

“Wake up Cinnabon!  I’ve got a few ideas that I have to get down before I forget!  Wake up damnit!”

 

Sleepily she stumbled downstairs, still yawning as she opened the door.

 

“Carmilla?  What the what?  Since when do you get up before 11 on a Saturday?”

 

Carmilla gave her a shrug, “since someone yelled at me for sleeping on the park bench and woke me up.  Seriously, come on.  Where’s your pen?”

 

Ell bit her lip guiltily.

 

“You were sleeping in the park?”

 

Carmilla shot her a look, clearly uninterested in continuing the conversation, “where the fuck did you think I was sleeping?  Seriously though.   _Pen.  Now._ ”

 

Ell honestly tried not to think about it.  It was warm now, but they’d broken up in the middle of February.  Ell really hoped that Carmilla hadn’t been out in the elements through some of those bitter months.  March had still been pretty cold this year.

 

Carmilla’s impatient tapping brought Ell back to the present and Ell rushed off to find pen _and_ paper this time.  It had taken ages to scrub away the lyrics that Carmilla had scrawled all over her yesterday and she wasn’t even certain she’d got it all.

 

When she got back, Carmilla blew out a breath.

 

“ _Finally_.  You took your sweet time.”

 

Ell bit back a retort as Carmilla began to scribble.

 

“Okay, so I totally came up with a _kick-ass_ musical section that is going to fit really well,” Carmilla explained, “We still need some lyrics, though. Song needs another verse at least.”

 

She looked agitated, pacing back and forth, even broodier than usual. “Carmilla, are you al--”

 

“No, I need to finish this fucking song,” Carmilla snapped. She looked toward the dining room. “Your parents still keep their liquor in there?”

 

“Yes, but--”

 

She pushed past Ell and Ell followed. “Carmilla, what are you doing?”

 

“I am in a terrible mood, sue me,” Carmilla answered; she walked up to the padlocked cabinet, grabbing a bobby pin from her grubby hair.

 

“Carmilla, if my parents figure out you did this--”

 

“What? Get me arrested? I’ll get fed in jail. Joke’s on them.”

 

She had seemed so calm the night before, and it seemed like the realization that Carmilla was not dating Laura anymore had finally sunk in. Normally Ell would have fought her a little harder; but she had just been dumped too. And watching Carmilla so upset about her breakup was pulling Ell down with her.

 

“...Okay. Okay you can have a _little._ Just to get you settled down.”

 

Carmilla nodded, picking the lock with her bobby pin before sticking it in her hair. She pulled out a bottle of wine. “You know you want some too, Cinnabon.”

 

“I’m 17, that’s illegal!”

 

“ _Shhh,_ your parents--wait, are they even here? I didn’t see a car in the driveway.”

 

“...They’re out of town. There’s a reason I made you have dinner with Laura and her dad first.”  

 

Carmilla made a noncommittal noise before rooting through her cabinets for a couple of glasses and pouring hers to the top.  She handed one to Ell.

 

“Bottoms up Cinnabon.”

 

Ell had not had alcohol since her breakup with Carmilla (which ended with her lying facedown on the bathroom floor with Laura holding her hair back whenever she dragged herself to the toilet) so she was not ready to go through anything like that again.

 

“Carmilla, I told you, I am not drinking. Give me one good reason why alcohol is a good idea.”

 

“...We broke up with our girlfriends, you’re fighting with your best friend, I’m homeless, and the universe has decided to make the only person in the world we have to lean on our ex.”

 

Ell stared at Carmilla for a beat.

 

“ _Give me that bottle.”_

 

She grabbed it from Carmilla’s hand, filling hers and giving it back.

 

Carmilla raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment, downing her glass and then immediately topping them both up.

 

“Here’s to making bad choices and forgetting the state of our love lives.”

 

“Amen to that, Carmilla,” Ell answered. She drank another glass, and already her mind was getting foggy and her balance a little off. Carmilla looked shocked.

 

“...I also forgot how much of a lightweight you are,” Carmilla said, “Come on, let’s have you sit down before you fall.”

 

Ell overshot her mark (a dining room chair) pretty substantially, stumbling into the kitchen and sitting down on the linoleum. Carmilla joined her, pouring another glass for herself.

 

“Hey. Hey, Carmilla.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“‘The sun is starting to rise and we’re on the kitchen floor. Empties everywhere, I lose my mind for you and that stupid smile--which is _really_ pretty, by the way, even if it’s stupid. Also I mean that totally platonically, I would never date you again if we were the last two women on earth.”

 

Carmilla smiled. “I know, Cinnabon. I know.”

 

“...Although does that really matter? It’s not like we could repopulate the earth, we’re lesbians.”

 

“You should stop talking.”

 

Carmilla starting drinking another glass. “Although, that is a pretty good lyric.” Carmilla started scribbling it down.

 

Ell felt the world get a little hazier as the alcohol started to catch up with her.

 

“Okay _wow_.  Was the world this spin-y before?”

 

Carmilla snorted.  “Jesus you’re such a lightweight.”

 

“Am not!” Ell clambered to her feet.  “I am _totally_ fine.”

 

“Ell, what are you doing--”

 

“PRACTICING!” Ell shouted, laughing, clambering up onto the kitchen table and singing. “CAUSE I GAVE IT ALL AWAAAAAY! AND NOW THERE’S NOTHING--”

 

“Jesus, Ell, _shut the fuck up!”_ Carmilla shouted, words starting to slur slightly, “There is a reason I am the lead singer.”

 

Ell stopped singing in favor of miming a guitar solo.

 

“Oh jesus.”  Carmilla’s eyes were slightly glassy, but she was in a much better state than Ell.

 

“Cinnabon get down from there before you fucking hurt yourself and both Danny and Laura kill me.”

 

Ell swayed slightly.  “They won’t care.”

 

“They’ll fucking care if you break your goddamn neck _get down from there_.”

 

Ell pouted.  “No.  You’re not the boss of me.  And I am _rocking_ the air guitar.”

 

Carmilla groaned.  “I don’t know whether I’m too drunk for this or not drunk enough.”

 

“Admit it Carmilla, _you’re always a slut for air guitar solos!”_

 

“I’m a slut for you not dying!”

 

Ell, swaying back and forth, finally climbed down from the table. “ _Fine._ You’re not fun.”

 

Carmilla looked at the kitchen clock, squinting. “Wait wait weren’t we supposed to be at Laura’s by now?”

 

Ell latched onto only one word in that sentence.  Unfortunately, it was the one that set her off.

 

“Noooo.  Laura hates me.  Danny dumped me.  You left me for Lauraaaa.  Everyone hates me and I’m going to die old and alone.”

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Carmilla groaned as she gathered up their papers, her guitar case, and slung an arm around Ell’s waist to support her.  “You _would_ be a weepy drunk.  Come on sinsa-ciinnmu-something roll.  Let’s go.”

 

She hauled Ell bodily over and out the door.

 

Laura was staring down at her bass, tuning it; she pointedly avoided looking at either of them when they stumbled in.

 

“Heeey, Laura,” Carmilla slurred out, “How are you, former bae?”

 

“Whoa, you’re drunk?” Laura’s head snapped up; her eyes widened at the sight of Carmilla with her arm around Ell.

 

“That obvious…?”

 

“I mean, yeah, you totally sound drunk, but it was mostly the calling me bae that set off the alarm bells.”

 

“But you are my bae.  Or you were,” Carmilla frowned at this, loosening her grip on Ell for a moment as she lost her concentration.  

 

Ell, of course, had little ability to stand on her own and tumbled further into Carmilla who barely had time to catch her.  They stood together, slightly unsteady, limbs tangled as they tried to regain their bearings.

 

Which is of course when Danny rolled up.

 

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me,” she scoffed.  “Nice.  Real nice guys.”

 

Carmilla and Ell both whipped their heads around to look at the source of the noise.  Unfortunately, their lack of coordination had the sudden movement sending them both tumbling towards the floor.

 

“Owww….”

 

“Shit fuck!”

 

Danny gave them a confused glance and looked at Laura who shrugged.

 

“They’re drunk.  Apparently.”

 

She wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Wow, I really didn’t know you, Ell.”

 

Laura sighed.  “I’m not going to defend either of those messes, but if it makes you feel better I’m like 99% certain that’s only the second time in her life Ell’s ever touched liquor.”  She wrinkled her nose.  “That’s definitely not true of Carmilla.”

 

Danny bit her lip.  “Do I want to know the first?”

 

Laura shot her a look.  “No.  You probably don’t.”

 

“Yeah, it was because I dumped her,” Carmilla added, “You definitely don’t want to know the first time.”

 

Ell vaguely thought she should be mad at Carmilla for that, but she was too drunk to know why. She settled for shoving Carmilla as she tried to get up.

 

“Come on we hafta show them… show them…” Ell failed at getting up.

 

Carmilla snorted, but stood up, still slightly wobbly, and offered Ell a hand.

 

“Come on drunk-y.  You’re not too drunk to play are you?”

 

“Prolly not” Ell slurred.

 

“Yeah that’s real convincing,” Carmilla muttered.

 

“But I left my pi’no at the house.”

 

“Oh for God’s sake,” Laura huffed, “if we leave it to you two, we’ll be here all day.  Wait here.  I’ll go get it.” Laura walked out.

 

“Hey. Hey.” Ell looked at Danny, who had her arms crossed in front of her with a scowl.

 

“I don’t want to talk to you, Ell.”

 

“My tongue was in your mouth,” Ell answered, making Danny blush; she looked at Carmilla, “Do you think she misses my tongue being inner mouth?”

 

Carmilla shrugged. “Dunno. _I_ got over it pretty quick.”

 

Ell hit Carmilla on the arm.

 

“Hey!”

 

“Wow. One day and you already rebound on your ex.”

 

“We did not rebound!” Carmilla exclaimed, shaking a finger at Danny, “And...and I do not know why...just because we are drunk and left Ell’s house together and...shit…”

 

Laura walked back in with the piano tucked under her arm.  She glanced at Danny, eyebrow raised.

 

“Did I miss anything?”

 

Danny scoffed, “not really.  Carmilla just claimed that she and Ell didn’t get back together.  But that’s obviously a lie.”

 

Laura stared at the two of them. “...They’re too drunk to tell.”

 

“That’s a goddamn lie cupcake,” Carmilla slurred, “and if the world was a little steadier, I’d come over to you and show you how much.”

 

“She could,” Ell slurred, “she’s good with her hands.”

 

Danny’s jaw dropped.  “Really?  One day and you two slept together?”

 

Laura’s face twisted.  “I always wondered if Carmilla was with me because I put out.  I guess now I know.”

 

Carmilla shot Laura a puppy dog look.  “Y-you… you don’t really believe that, do you?”

 

Laura ran a hand through her hair.  “I don’t know what I believe.”  Then, after a beat, “God.  Are you two even sober enough to practice?”

 

“WHOA WHOA WHOA NO,” Carmilla exclaimed, hiccupping slightly, “I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE BUT YOU IN THE LAST WEEK OR SO not that I slept with anyone else before that...BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.”

 

“Yeah,” Ell agreed, “I would totally rather die than sleep with Carmilla. She is _super hot_ and everything but, um...wait Carmilla I totally had something to say that would prove our point I _swear.”_

 

Danny backed up a few steps. “Wow, guys, thank you for clearing it up with your incredibly logical, persuasive explanations. Right, Laura?”

 

Laura said nothing. It looked like she was struggling not to freak out.

 

“Laura, maybe we should cancel practice and force them to go home before they pass out--”

 

“No!” came the immediate response from both parties.

 

“We spent all night,” Carmilla said, pointing to Laura’s left, “working on this, so you better believe we’re gonna play it.”

 

Laura’s brow furrowed.  “What are you pointing at?”

 

“My cupcake.”  Carmilla frowned.  “Not mine anymore.  Damnit.”

 

Laura sighed as Ell stood, waving the stack of papers.

 

“Carmilla what order are these even in?”

 

“The fuck should I know?”

 

“YOU WROTE THIS DOWN.”

 

“Hold on,” Carmilla grabbed the papers, shuffling through them. “Alright. This is the order. I think.”

 

She got it ready, placing it on the music stand, before she grabbed Bagheera. “Alright! Here we go! Ready Ell?”

 

Ell missed the seat, scrambled back up from the floor, finally situating herself. “Ready!”

 

Danny crossed her arms.

 

“So what song are we playing?”

 

“No.  You shush now,” Ell held her finger to her lips, “and listen.”

 

“That goes double for you creampuff,” Carmilla said, aiming a half serious look in Laura’s direction.

 

Laura shot a helpless look at Danny who shrugged.

 

“Alright. ONE TWO THREE FOUR!” Carmilla shouted, and the two of them threw themselves into the song.

 

It was going well. Ell was pounding away on the keys, Carmilla was shredding on guitar. Carmilla’s voice still somehow managed to be fantastic even drunk.

 

_“Oh I got nothing...oh I got nothing left to give you...oh I got nothing I got nothing left to give you…”_

 

Danny and Laura looked at each other, expressions indiscernible, as Carmilla continued.

 

_“I got the devil on my breath,_

_and an angel on my back,_

_telling me no but the words fall away for you._

_And that stupid smile._

_Biting your lip while I swing my hips for you…_

_but I got nothing I got nothing left to give you…”_

 

“Wow, that actually sounds pretty good,” Danny said begrudgingly.

 

“Yeah, they--”

 

The music was giving Ell a headache and her hands tripped. Carmilla forgot the next verse of the song _and_ the chords, and ending up just belting ‘nothing’ over and over while strumming random chords.

 

Laura winced, “less good, less good!”

 

“What the fuck Cinnabon,” Carmilla growled.

 

“Don’t look at me!” Ell whined, “the piano moved!”

 

Carmilla rubbed her temples.  “Okay.  We’re gonna go again.”

 

“Oh no no no no no.  You two are _done_.” Laura cut in.

 

“But how else am I supposed to show you how I feel?” Carmilla pled.

 

Laura sighed, rolling her eyes a little.

 

“You can both try again _when you’re sober_.  For now I’m getting you both water and you’re not allowed to move until you finish it.”

 

Laura walked into the house, walking out with two bottles of water. “Alright. Both of you. _Drink.”_

 

“See, she still cares,” Carmilla said triumphantly.

 

“What?” Laura shot them a look.

 

Carmilla blithely continued on, “Ell was saying earlier that neither of you would care if she died and _I_ said you both would kill me if she did!”

 

“What?!” Danny yelped, “how did death come into this?”

 

“Ell was dancing on the dining room table,” Carmilla said solemnly.

 

“Wrong!” yelled Ell, “I was _shredding_ air guitar!”  She dissolved into a fit of giggles and Carmilla soon followed.

 

“Yeah, you were a natural,” Carmilla said.

 

“Still don’t think there’s something going on?” Danny asked dryly.

 

“...Look, I know, but...even _I_ waited a _week.”_ But now Laura didn’t look so sure.

 

“Hey, Carmilla,” Ell said, “Want to bet I can’t finish this faster than you?”

 

“YOU. ARE. ON.”

 

Most of the water spilled on their shirts rather than their mouths. Carmilla finished first, scrunching the bottle and throwing it on the ground like she scored a touchdown.

 

“KARNSTEIN!”

 

“Oh my God, why did I ever date you?” Laura groaned.

 

Carmilla pouted and attempted to walk seductively over to Laura.  Unfortunately, coordination was still a problem so the whole thing ended up looking less seductive and more cartoonish.

 

Ell eyed her own empty water bottle and then Carmilla’s on the floor.  She turned to Danny.

 

“I won didn’t I Danny?  I beat Carmilla?”

 

Her eyes were wide and sad, pleading with Danny.  Danny ran a hand through her hair.  

 

“Sure Ell.  Whatever makes you happy.”

 

Ell grinned, nodding. “Good. Awesome. Like you. Can we practice now, guys?”

 

“Yeah…” Laura picked up her bass again, “Do you have copies of that music? We have a little less than two weeks to get this song down, guys.”

 

Carmilla gave her a look of confusion.

 

“Copies?  I--what copies?”

 

“Ohmygo--” Laura caught herself, “why do I even bother…”

 

“Can Carmilla make copies?” Danny asked.

 

“If she was sober, probably, but that’s not really an option is it?”

 

Danny sighed.  “So is this whole practice a waste?”

 

“Well...It was entertaining?” Laura offered.

 

“If by entertaining you mean heartbreaking since the girl I was dating until _yesterday_ got back with her ex.”

 

Laura winced.

 

“You--you know what?” Ell got up and stumbled forward. “You know what, _Danny Long Legs?”_

 

Carmilla clapped lightly. “Nice one, Cinnabon.”

 

“You keep acting all _high and mighty,”_ Ell continued, wagging her finger at Danny, “But you know, we _aaaallll_ lied, and I don’t see ya’ sayin’ ‘boo’ to them. So maybe if you wanta’ know who the problem is, look in the mirror. Just look in the mirror. You think you’re so perfect,” Ell did a very bad imitation of Danny’s voice, “‘Oh, I ride a skateboard. Oh, I take care of my little siblings. Oh, I play drums. Oh, my jawline was chiseled by the Gods themselves’. Well guess what--”

 

Ell paused, seemingly for dramatic effect, turned, and threw up on the floor.

 

*

 

Band practice was effectively cancelled after that.  There wasn’t much they could do with the smell of vomit in the air.

 

Since Laura had the unpleasant job of cleaning up the floor (it being her house and all), and Carmilla was in no real state to help (she was half passed out on the ground), it was left to Danny to help Ell back to her house (after Laura had gotten her a wet paper towel to wipe her mouth with).

 

With a deep sigh, Danny slung an arm around her ex-girlfriend’s waist and hauled Ell to her feet.

 

“Danny?” came the pitiful voice that sounded halfway to crying, “do you hate me?”

 

She sighed deeply. “Ell, I am pissed at you. There is no way I am getting back together with you.”

 

Ell’s bottom lip quivered. Danny, without changing expression, finished:

 

“...But if I hated you, this wouldn’t hurt so much.”

 

Ell was quiet for a moment as Danny fiddled with the house keys to open Ell’s front door.  After unlocking it and stepping inside, Danny looked at Ell and grimaced.

 

“I can’t just leave you here can I?  I’m going to need to walk you to your bed.”

 

Ell’s voice was so quiet that if Danny hadn’t been stooped over to remove her shoes, she wouldn’t have heard it.

 

“I’d deserve it.”

 

Danny looked at her, eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

 

“For me to leave you on your hallway floor?”

 

“That too,” Ell mumbled.

 

Danny sighed, helping Ell slip out of her shoes and beginning to help her up the stairs.

 

“I’m not sure I understand half of what drunk-you says.  I’m not sure how much I ever understood you.”

 

Danny pushed open Ell’s bedroom door and sat her down on the bed.  Just as she was turning to leave, she heard the quiet voice again.

 

“I’d deserve for you to hate me.”

 

Ell was crying now, grabbing her pillow and hugging it like a teddy bear. “Everyone deserves to hate me. I’m just a worse version of Laura. Laura is prettier than me and smarter and more fun to be around and no one would _ever_ choose me over her. Carmilla chose her.  You’re going to choose her.  If Laura isn’t my friend I…”

 

She sniffled, clutching the pillow closer.

 

“...If I don’t have Laura, I could never be good enough for anyone.”

 

Danny’s face twisted and her fingers reached out involuntarily, twitching slightly.  After a beat, she wrestled her features into submission, smoothing over to make her expression blank.

 

Quickly, she found a small trash bin to set by Ell’s bed, and put a glass of water and some advil on the nightstand.

 

“Get some rest Ell.  You’ll feel better when you wake up.”

 

“Wake up,” Ell mumbled, “I’m dreaming. You’re still my girlfriend. I’ll wake up and you’ll text me good morning like you always do. Night…”

 

Ell fell asleep.

 

*

 

Ell was certain that a herd of elephants had broken into her room earlier and trampled all over her head.  That was obviously the only rational explanation for the way she was feeling right now.

 

“What the heck happened--oh _fuck.”_

 

Ell covered her mouth, startled by her own outburst. But what better word was there to describe the hazy memories floating in and out of her memory? Table dancing, drunken singing, vomiting in Laura’s garage? And...and was _Danny_ in her _house?_ Putting Ell in bed…?

 

No. She must have been getting confused. She spotted the advil and water. Without hesitating or considering how it got there, Ell knocked back an advil with water as though she was drinking a shot.

 

She grimaced.  She was definitely never drinking again.  What a terrible idea.  Maybe she should just curl up and go back to sleep until the headache receded.

 

As if on cue, her phone buzzed. Ell groaned--the sound gave her a headache--but she grabbed it. Her heart almost stopped when she saw the message.

 

 _Danny <3 _: Morning. Making sure you are not dead. Reply with ‘good’ and do not text me again.

 

Ell’s heart soared when Danny’s name flashed across her phone.  And just as quickly it dropped when she read the message.

 

Danny still hated her.  Life was still awful.

 

Briefly, she toyed with the idea of not sending a response at all.  Maybe let Danny feel a fraction of the hurt she was feeling right now.

 

But no.  For Danny to feel hurt, she’d have to care about her.

 

Besides, Ell had already done enough lying by omission.  And look where that had gotten her.  

 

Still...Ell couldn’t help herself.

 

 _Ell_ : Good. Miss you.

 

 _Danny <3 _: I’m not doing this with you.  Don’t text me again.

 

“...Sorry,” Ell said quietly to herself, deleting the text message falling back on her bed.

 

There was church. Ell hadn’t been to church since she came out--and before that she’d only been going out of habit--but she felt like she needed some divine intervention to get through band practice later that day. She noticed that it had rained that night--which did nothing for her mood.

 

She walked the familiar steps up the church and gave herself a moment to genuflect before sliding into one of the back pews to pray.

 

“...Playing ‘are you there God, it’s me Eleanor?’”

 

Ell looked to the pew next to her. “Carmilla, are you _serious?_ How--you--Carmilla, you actively hate religion.”

 

Carmilla shrugged. “I sleep here sometimes. If it’s raining.”

 

It was amazing how seven words could make Ell so upset.

 

“Carmilla--”

 

“Don’t.”

 

“No. Carmilla if you want--no, you definitely need--help, you need to learn to take it. That’s why Laura broke up with you. If you want any chance of getting her back--”

 

“And why the fuck do you care?” Carmilla asked. Ell winced.

 

“Carmilla, is it really appropriate to swear in a church?”

 

She flashed a wicked grin. “Fuck no.”

 

Ell rolled her eyes. “Well, anyway, I _do_ care. Laura was the core of my friend group. If she hates me, I have no friends. Which means you are the only social interaction I have left.”

 

Carmilla tucked her knees into her chest. “...And I’ve always kind of been a loner by nature. The band is the only social interaction I’ve been getting too.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

She shrugged again. “You all know my situation. You don’t act awkward around me.”

 

“Come to my house.”

 

“Kind of forward. You over Red already?”

 

“ _No._ And ew. Just... _ew._ Like you have no idea how much I don’t--”

 

“I get the point,” Carmilla interrupted.

 

“Sorry. But, uh...yeah. Come back to my house. We’ll see how much of the song still sounds good when we’re sober. I can make cookandy cake?”

 

Carmilla wrinkled her nose. “That stuff is literally the unhealthiest food I have ever seen.”

 

“You also like it.”

 

Carmilla sighed, getting up. “True.”

 

It was so awkward, it wasn’t even funny. But Ell was going to go through with it. No matter what Laura said, she _cared._ She cared more than anyone Ell knew. And if she wasn’t in a place to look out for Carmilla, Ell would. Until Laura was able to again.

 

Because even if Laura was never going to forgive Ell...and even if Danny would never forgive her...Ell was going to get Laura and Carmilla back together. She was going to do that one small thing to make up for months of screw ups.

 

How? She had no idea, but the best way to start was to get Carmilla fed.


	14. Chapter 14

Cookandy cake was another tradition started by Laura. 

 

Laura tended to be the idea person. She would come up with something ‘totally genius’ and then it was up to Ell to either:

 

A) Attempt to talk Laura out of it (with minimal success)

 

B) Go along with it (with minimal success)

 

C) Figure out how to execute it when Laura inevitably failed. Such was the case with the cookandy cake--it was Laura’s recipe, combined with Ell’s execution. Laura had tried to make it the first time. She wasn’t a very good cook.

 

Basically it was cookie dough spooned into a pie dish, filled with any candy laying around the house--raisinets, whoppers, pieces of hershey bars, that sort of thing. Then the top was covered in chocolate frosting. 

 

It was literally the worst possible thing that could be put into the human body. But it was also the perfect food to indulge in during a fit of self loathing. 

 

Which was how Carmilla ended up curled up on Ell’s couch, holding the pie dish in one arm, and a huge spoon in the other. 

 

“God I literally have no idea how you guys stay as skinny as you do when you eat this crap,” she said, shoveling another spoonful into her mouth.

 

Ell winced.  “I forgot how gross you can be.  Please close your mouth when you chew.”

 

“I’m just saying Cinnabon,” Carmilla said, waving another spoonful around, “if there was any sort of cosmic justice in the world you’d both be over 300 pounds.  Instead, you’re skinny as a stick and Laura is....” Carmilla sighed like she was the heroine of an old black and white movie pining after her lover.  Ell would’ve found it funnier if Carmilla hadn’t looked so pathetic.  “Laura is perfect.” Carmilla finished.

 

“Wow,” Ell said, “and I thought you were a sap when you were dating  _ me _ .”

 

“Shut up Schraeder.”

 

Carmilla took another large bite.

 

“Besides,” Ell said, “cookandy cake is only for special occasions.”

 

Carmilla raised an eyebrow.  “This is a special occasion?  I’d say this is a pretty shitty occasion.”

 

Ell shrugged.  “It’s a special occasion.  Because you’ve got one night to get all the pity and self-loathing out of your system.  And then tomorrow we’re going to figure out how you get Laura back.”

 

Carmilla squinted at her, frowning a little.  “I don’t remember you being this assertive when I was dating you.”

 

“Well,” Ell’s bottom lip quivered and she forced it to stop because now was  _ not _ the time, “Danny brought out the best in me.”

 

“Yeah?” Carmilla sunk lower onto the couch, “Laura brought out the best in me too.”

 

They were silent for a moment, the only sound in the room Carmilla’s chewing.

 

“I don’t… completely hate you, you know.”

 

Ell stared at Carmilla.  “...well great.  One person doesn’t  _ completely _ hate me.”

 

Carmilla shot her a look.  “You know what I mean.”

 

Ell just sighed unhappily.  Carmilla clarified.

 

“I don’t completely hate you for what happened with my mom.  It was probably for the best.”

 

Ell scoffed, “and now I  _ know _ you’re just saying that.  Carmilla.  You’re homeless.”

 

Carmilla’s jaw tightened.  “Yeah.  That’s not the best.  But if you hadn’t, we’d still be together.  And you wouldn’t have gotten to know Danny.  And I wouldn’t have gotten together with Laura.”  

 

Carmilla shrugged.

 

“I’m still counting it as a win.”

 

Ell blinked.  Most of the time she couldn’t remember why she’d ever dated Carmilla.  Sure, Carmilla was hot as hell.  But she tended to be an ass.  But every once in awhile, Carmilla would say or do something that made her remember just how good a person her ex could be under all her prickly layers.  

 

Ell rose slowly from the couch so as not to startle Carmilla and bent over to give her a hug.  Carmilla patted her awkwardly on the back.

 

“Thank you for forgiving me.”

 

Carmilla shrugged, the vulnerable person already shrouded behind layers of protection.  

 

“Yeah well.”  She looked Ell in the eye, “if I can forgive you for making me homeless, Big Red can forgive you for the lie of omission.”

 

Ell’s throat closed up.  “I’m pretty sure that’s never gonna happen.”

 

“Never say never Cinnabon.”

 

Ell pulled away, sitting next to Carmilla. 

 

“We would have broken up anyway, wouldn’t we have?” Ell asked, trying to change the subject. 

 

“Probably. We were getting on each other’s nerves. You never stood up for yourself and I got annoyed with having to do that for you. Which is  _ why,”  _ Carmilla continued, not letting Ell get away with her strategy, “Red is so much better for you. She loves having her little damsel in distress to play knight in shining gym shorts with.” 

 

Ell was quiet for a moment.  “You and Laura balance each other out better too.  I wouldn’t have thought it, but you do.”

 

Carmilla didn’t answer, picking a raisinet out of the cake. 

 

“How are we going to get through practice today, Carmilla? I vaguely remember them accusing us of getting together. That will be so awkward.” 

 

Carmilla’s face twisted.  “Yeah.  That’s pretty ridiculous.  I’d have thought that at least Laura would know better.”

 

She was quiet, poking again at the cake.

 

“If we deny it, they’re not going to believe us.”

 

“But it’s not true!” Ell exclaimed.

 

Carmilla shrugged one shoulder carelessly.  “It doesn’t matter.”  The corner of her mouth lifted in a mirthless smile, “I’d prove them wrong by grabbing Laura to make out with her, but I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t appreciate that at this point.”

 

“And I’m pretty sure Danny wouldn’t with me, either,” Ell answered, frowning. She sighed, getting up and grabbing the pie tin from her. 

 

“What the fuck?” 

 

“It’s a peace offering,” Ell answered, “To apologize for puking on Laura’s floor. She may hate  _ me,  _ but there’s no way she’ll turn down my cooking. Come on.” 

 

“But we still have a few hours,” Carmilla pointed out, “What’s the rush?” 

 

“If we are getting you back together with Laura,” Ell answered, “We need to get you looking your absolute best. You are taking a real shower.” 

 

Carmilla grumbled something about ‘the things I will do to get laid’, but scrambled off the couch and followed her. 

 

Ell shoved Carmilla into the bathroom with a towel and instructions not to come out until she’d washed out all the grime of the past several months.

 

Then Ell immediately realized that Carmilla could  _ not _ get back into the same disgusting clothes she’d been wearing for ages and hollered at Carmilla to leave her clothes outside the door.  Ell would throw them in the wash later.

 

For now, Ell went rooting through her closet for something Carmilla wouldn’t hate wearing.  Carmilla wasn’t quite her size, but she was Laura’s… oh look.  There was an old pair of Laura’s jeans that had been left.  Ell grabbed those and continued to flip through her stuff.  She probably had somewhere… Ell smirked triumphantly when she found one of Carmilla’s old faded tees from when they were dating.  She’d known there probably were some in the bowels of her closet, but after the breakup she hadn’t been able to bring herself to look for them.  Score one for laziness.

 

As if on cue, Carmilla wandered out looking slightly pink from the heat and the scrubbing, wearing only a towel.  Ell averted her eyes and thrust the clothes into Carmilla’s arms.

 

“Make sure you brush your teeth too!  We don’t need Laura running off because of your bad breath!”

 

Carmilla grumbled something about how Laura never cared before, but complied.

 

“Okay Carmilla, are you decent?” Ell asked, knocking on the bathroom door. 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

She walked in holding a hairbrush. “Okay. Let’s work on that hair.” 

 

“Whoa whoa whoa whoa  _ whoa  _ who said anyone but me is allowed to touch this mane?” 

 

“It’s less a lion’s mane and more of a bird’s nest,” Ell answered, blocking the door, “ _ Stand there,  _ Carmilla, this is going to happen.” 

 

She grabbed a tube of hair creme that was on the bathroom counter, lathering up her hands before running them in Carmilla’s hair. She then yanked the brush through. 

 

“Fuck shit damnit--” 

 

“Oh shut up, you sound like you’re five Carm.” 

 

“Don’t call me Carm,” Carmilla growled.

 

Ell rolled her eyes.  “Yes, yes.  You’re so terrifying.  Shut up and sit still.”

 

“...Besides, pretty sure five year olds don’t swear like that.” 

 

Ell ignored her, working through the tangles with leave in conditioner and moisturizing cream. When her hair seemed presentable, Ell announced, “Okay. Only thing left to do is makeup.” 

“I think I can handle that, Cinnabon.” 

 

“I’ll leave you to it, then. But you better not ruin mine. You are a complete slob when it comes to makeup.” 

 

Carmilla huffed, using a hand to gesture mockingly at herself, “you think  _ this _ comes easy?  Your makeup is a casualty that I’m willing to accept in the war on my looks.”

 

Ell just shot Carmilla a warning look as she went to gather up the rest of the cookandy cake and chuck on some slightly more presentable clothes than the sweats she’d been wearing.

 

“Carmilla!” she called, “are you done yet?”

 

“Patience woman!” came the reply.  

 

Ell groaned.  At this rate Laura will have forgotten their  _ names _ before Carmilla was done getting ready.

 

She’d just finished washing all of the dishes before Carmilla finally walked downstairs. Ell struggled to keep her face even. 

 

Carmilla had always stayed attractive. But it was amazing what a shower, some hair product, and makeup could do. She was restored to her former glory of when she had been with Ell--and she almost forgot just how hot that was. 

 

“Like what you’re seeing, Cinnabon?” Carmilla asked with a smirk. 

 

“Uh--just--just surprised by how much better you smell?” 

 

Carmilla ran a hand through her hair.

 

“Please,” she said, still smirking, “you forget that we dated for a  _ year _ .  That’s the same face you made whenever I stepped it up with one of my seduction outfits.”

 

“So you do admit they were meant to seduce me!” Ell pointed a finger at her, jaw gaping open.  Whenever she’d said as much when they were dating, Carmilla had just shrugged it off as ‘can I help it if I’m just that hot Cinnabon?’  Now at last a little proof that Carmilla had been trying to drive her mad.

 

“And what if I was?” 

 

“Y-you!” Ell spluttered as Carmilla smirked.

 

Ugh.  Ell was going to have to find a way to get her back somehow.  Maybe after she’d gotten back together with Laura.  Yes.  That would be the perfect payback.  Embarrass Carmilla in front of Laura.  That would work.  Assuming Laura let her be around long enough to tease.

 

Wow.  Dark thoughts.  Okay.  Not now.  Carmilla and Laura first.

 

*

 

Laura, as always, was already there when Ell and Carmilla showed up. 

 

“Oh. Hi.” Laura said curtly, not looking up. 

 

“Hey, Laura,” Ell answered, “I brought cookandy cake?” 

 

Laura didn’t show any reaction, but her nose twitched. “And?” 

 

“If I eat the entire thing it would literally kill me. Or,” Ell added, realizing Laura might not care about her death at the moment, “Anyway, consider it an apology for my rather inebriated state yesterday?” 

 

Predictably, Laura couldn’t say no to her absolute favorite dessert. She looked up--and Carmilla was the one holding the dish in hand, looking like her old, non-homeless self. 

 

If Laura had been drinking something, she would have spit it out. As it was she still made a strangled noise. 

 

_ Do not look like an asshole,  _ Ell had told Carmilla,  _ do not show any reaction, PLEASE.  _

 

That would just make Laura mad. 

 

Carmilla, surprisingly, managed to pretend she didn’t notice Laura’s jaw literally dropping. “‘Sup, Cupcake.” 

 

Laura made a couple of incoherent noises, jaw opening and closing as she did so.  Finally, she managed to recompose herself.

 

“I’m...uh…glad you two worked it out.  I mean.  Not glad you managed to rebound after only a  _ day _ , but I guess I deserve that after the whole one week thing, huh?  It’s good that you’re at least letting Ell help you Carm--” Laura caught herself, shaking her head slightly, “Carmilla.  You look…better.  Healthier.”

 

It took all of Ell’s willpower not to vehemently deny getting back together with Carmilla, but she managed. Carmilla was right--there was no way Laura would believe her. Maybe she would when Carmilla had won her back. 

 

“I have you to thank for the wake up call,” Carmilla answered nonchalantly, “You were right. It’s not totally awful to ask for help occasionally.” 

 

She started doing her routine check of Bagheera while they all waited for Danny. Ell couldn’t control herself anymore. 

 

“Laura I swear this is not as bad as it looks--” 

 

“I know. We were only together a quarter of the time you guys were, Ell, you have a history. It was only a matter of time after Carmilla forgave you for it. No hard feelings, okay? I mean, about  _ that.  _ I still hate you for lying.” 

 

“But Carmilla and I aren’t--”

 

“Ready to put any labels on what this is.”

 

Ell turned to Carmilla, mouth dropping open.  Seriously?  What happened to the plan?  They had a  _ plan _ .

 

Carmilla smiled innocently and thrust the cookandy cake towards Laura.  “Cake?”

 

Laura took the cake from her, sighing before taking a bite. “...Um. Thanks I guess.” 

 

“No problem,” Carmilla answered, as Danny rolled up. 

 

“Whoa. What happened to her?” Danny asked, looking at Laura, “She looks less zombie-like than usual.” 

 

“I stayed over at Ell’s and she let me clean up there,” Carmilla answered. 

 

Oh no. No no  _ no.  _

 

“I mean, it wasn’t a big deal I mean  _ seriously guys  _ it was NOT A BIG DEAL.” Ell exclaimed, looking at Danny, who had raised her eyebrows rather high. 

 

“What? Are you kidding? It was  _ totally  _ a big deal,” Carmilla answered, “It was really sweet of you to do, Cinnabon--” 

 

“CARMILLA I HATE YOU.” 

 

She flashed a wicked grin. “Aw. I ‘hate’ you too.” 

 

Ell caught the look of disgust flashing across Danny’s features and the hurt so clearly stamped all over Laura’s.  No.  This was literally the  _ opposite _ of what they wanted and what on earth was Carmilla doing?!

 

“What’s that?” Danny asked, looking at Laura’s plate. Laura smiled at her. 

 

“Cookandy cake! Only the best dessert  _ ever.  _ Try it.” 

 

Her eyes flitted toward Ell and Carmilla quickly, before she took the fork and fed Danny. “Like it?” 

 

“ _ Mmm.  _ Wow, this is really good. It’s probably horrible for you though, am I right?” 

 

“Only if you don’t like being happy,” Laura answered. 

 

“I  _ definitely  _ like being happy--” 

 

“WE ARE PRACTICING NOW,” Ell exclaimed, “Heeeey, Carmilla, you have that awesome song we’re going to all learn now, right? We’re totally going to show them how good it sounds played by sober people, right? Like  _ immediately.  _ Danny go sit back at the drums while Laura stands where she normally does at the  _ front.”  _

 

Normally Ell’s keyboard was next to the drums, and Carmilla and Laura were in front of them. Danny shook her head. 

 

“Actually, I feel like having Laura stand next to me for this practice. Laura?” 

 

“That sounds like a  _ great _ idea Danny.”

 

Ell was a little gobsmacked.  This was her worst nightmare coming true.  Laura and Danny were going to get married and have 2.5 kids, a dog, and a white picket fence.  And Ell was going to spend the rest of her life alone, mourning how stupid she was in her youth.

 

She glared at Carmilla  _ hard _ .

 

This wouldn’t have happened if Carmilla had kept her big mouth shut and just  _ stuck to the plan _ .

 

Carmilla smiled, amused, before grabbing Bagheera and her music. 

 

“Alright. So, let’s reintroduce this song to you. It’s titled ‘Nothing’ and is much better than it may have sounded yesterday.” 

 

Laura and Danny looked at each other and shrugged.  Ell was too busy watching them to notice Carmilla until she was elbowing her in the ribs.  

 

“Cinnabon, come  _ on _ .”

 

Ell jolted out of her trance to see Carmilla impatiently tapping her foot.  Right.  Song. She took her keyboard begrudgingly, moving it so it was next to Carmilla. Laura gave Danny a quick nod when she walked back next to the drum kit. 

 

Carmilla counted them off and they launched into the song.  Ell was eternally grateful they’d practiced as much as they had because there was no way she could concentrate on the song now.  Not with Laura and Danny standing so close to one another.  Not when Laura leaned over to whisper something in Danny’s ear. And Danny actually smiled and nodded in agreement. 

 

Dear Lord, Laura proposed. Laura totally proposed--

 

“ _ Cinnabon,  _ earth to Cinnabon--” 

 

“What?” 

 

“The song is over,” Carmilla said. 

 

“Right. Right.” 

 

Laura raised her hand. “So you guys want us to learn this new song in a week…?” 

 

“It didn’t take us that long to learn 27,” Carmilla pointed out. 

 

“Well, yeah, but we also spent months perfecting it,” Danny answered, which made Ell look at her pointedly. 

 

“Danny, didn’t you tell me a few weeks ago that you thought 27 was too slow?” 

 

Danny looked back at Ell. 

 

“You know, Danny, during our first date when we were eating dinner and then you gave me that hickey?” 

 

Carmilla looked pleasantly surprised, grinning at Ell as Danny blushed. 

 

“I--seriously--you know what, let’s learn the stupid song, just stop bringing up the embarrassing fact that I dated you.” 

 

Ell should have felt bad about that, but Carmilla looking so proud of her lessened the blow. 

 

Maybe that’s what Ell needed to do. Channel her inner Carmilla. 

 

(Though really it was more like ‘channel her inner bitch’) 

 

“Okay,” Carmilla said as she handed Danny a copy and then hovered a second or so longer than was strictly necessary as she handed Laura hers, “there’s a little room for improv, but  _ don’t _ go overboard.”  She said the last part with a stern look towards Danny who just rolled her eyes.

 

“Whatever,” Danny muttered, “this doesn’t look super complicated anyway.”

 

“Well, put your money where your mouth is.” 

 

Danny glared at Carmilla.  Laura looked preoccupied, squinting at the sheet and letting her fingers drift up and down the fretboard as she mimed which chords she’d need.

 

“Cupcake, you good?”

 

Laura shrugged.  “Does it matter?  You’re going to make us run through it anyway.”

 

Ell saw Carmilla’s jaw tighten infinitesimally, but she turned to give Danny a nod.

 

“Count us off Xena.  Let’s go.”

 

Danny glared at Carmilla. “One-two-IhateyouCarmilla-three-four!” 

 

Laura did exactly what she needed to do; nothing more, nothing less. She stoically played the notes without anything resembling emotion. 

 

Danny opted for the opposite strategy, improving every single chance that she got just to piss Carmilla off. 

 

Ell tried, for Carmilla’s sake, but she had never gotten very good at giving off the ‘rocker’ vibe Carmilla swore up and down was desperately important. 

 

Carmilla was trying, but it was clear that she was fatigued, whether emotionally or physically it was hard to tell.  And she was also clearly getting frustrated.

 

When they reached the end of the song, Carmilla blew out a big breath.

 

“Well that was shit.”

 

“Excuse you?!”  Danny’s voice was indignant.

 

“Don’t pretend you thought it was good Glamazon.”  Carmilla pinched the bridge of her nose.  “This is the better song and it sounded like crap.  We might as well give up now.”  Carmilla shrugged.

 

Ell bit her lip.  She  _ really _ didn’t want these past few months of practice to go to waste.  Clearly Carmilla did not share that sentiment.

 

“Look clearly you two are still pissed and it’s stressing Cinnabon out.  The weather’s getting warmer and the park’s not awful.  We should just cut our losses.”

 

Ell could have made a big speech to convince her not to stop. Danny seemed like she might protest, too. 

 

Neither of them got the chance to. Which might have been a good thing, considering that they would have never done it as well as Laura. 

 

“You listen to me, Carmilla Karnstein,” Laura practically growled; Ell had never seen her so angry. “I am not giving up  _ months  _ of work, of practicing when I should have been studying, of listening to my dad complain about noise, of dealing with Ell’s stupid pining over Danny and then lying to me about Danny and then her drunkenly stumbling into my garage, for it to be for  _ nothing.”  _

 

She balled her fists, looking at Carmilla defiantly. “We are  _ winning  _ this competition whether you want to or not. We are competing, and you are going to do this song. I--I can’t let you--on a park bench--” 

 

Laura snapped her mouth shut, shaking her head and jabbing a finger into the older girl’s chest. “You have  _ no right  _ to ‘call this off’. We are all going to take five and  _ keep practicing.  _ You are so insufferable and just-- _ ugh!”  _

 

She stormed off, in a huff, back into her house. Danny followed. 

 

“Carmilla…” Ell’s voice wavered; Carmilla didn’t look upset. In fact, she was smiling like a dork. “Um...Carmilla? Are you alright?” 

 

“...Laura got pissed because I wanted to give up,” Carmilla said, staring off into space. 

 

“And you’re  _ happy?” _

 

“She didn’t want me to sleep on a park bench. She still cares.” She sighed. “There’s still a chance to fix this.” 

 

Ell looked at Carmilla, confused. So  _ this  _ must be what being in love was like. 

 

“Ohh-kayyy.  So that explains that weird outburst.  But what was with the weird suggestive comments earlier?  Why did you let them think we were back together when we’re not?!”

 

Carmilla was still staring dreamily at the door Laura had just gone through.  “Same reason.  I just wanted to know if Laura still cared.”

 

“Um newsflash...  I think you’re just pushing Laura and Danny closer together.”

 

Carmilla snorted. “As  _ if.  _ Like Laura would ever really be into Clifford.” 

 

“Why not? Danny is smart, cute, kind, amazingly talented--” 

 

“You’re not exactly  _ unbiased.”  _

 

Ell huffed.  “Yeah well you’ve hated her from the start so you’re not unbiased either.  And they just disappeared together.”

 

Carmilla frowned at that. “They’d be terrible together.  How would that even physically work?  Laura would either have to climb a ladder to reach Clifford’s face or Clifford would have to lean so far down she’d get back problems.”

 

Ell tried not to look like she found that amusing. “You do not know what you’re talking about. Danny is a catch and there is no way Laura is not going to crush on her. And Laura is my awesome friend so there is no way Danny isn’t--” 

 

“Jesus Christ Ell, do you  _ want  _ them to get together?” 

 

Ell made a face, “no  _ obviously _ not.  I’m just saying…” her voice trailed off becoming small, “I’d understand why they would.  Everyone likes Laura better anyway.  And Danny deserves the best.”

 

“What, and I don’t?” Carmilla grumbled. She looked at Ell and sighed. “...And, you know, I guess you’re being too hard on yourself or whatever.” 

 

“...You know, it was a good thing you asked me out when we met, because I’m pretty sure I would have never wanted to be around you long enough to like you if I hadn’t been trying to kiss you.” 

 

Carmilla turned a half-step away, hand ruffling her hair.  “...you don’t think Laura feels the same way do you?”

 

Ell shot her a questioning look and Carmilla huffed.

 

“Well I don’t know.  You two are normally on the same page.  So if anyone would know, it’d be you.”

 

“Um...well...I mean, of  _ course  _ not,” Ell said, “It doesn’t make sense, does it? Laura said it herself, she didn’t even think of you that way until we broke up. She’d been around you for as long as we were together.” 

 

“She hated me, though, didn’t she?” 

 

“ _ No,  _ not hate,” Ell clarified, “She just...strongly questioned why I wanted to date you. But she liked you! Really! In small doses. Occasionally she thought you were funny?” 

 

“Right,” Carmilla was subdued, hand going back to ruffling through her hair.  Ell wondered where she’d picked up the nervous habit.  She’d certainly never done it while they were dating.

 

It was silent for a moment before the door opened again and Danny and Laura reappeared.  Laura was laughing and Danny shoved her playfully, “you little  _ nerd _ .”

 

Laura winked, “oh come on.  You like it.”

 

Carmilla tensed.

 

Ell’s stomach twisted. Well. Unless Laura beat her record, they had about six days to figure something out at least. 

 

“Okay!” Laura said, clapping her hands together and still grinning, “I hope you two are ready to play your hearts out because we’ve got a week to get this song so good that it’s  _ obvious _ they need to crown us the winners.  Danny, will you do the honors?”

 

Danny grinned back at Laura and gave her a little salute.  Ell’s stomach churned.  But she didn’t have a choice.  Danny was counting them off and then it was go time.

 

Ell closed her eyes and tried to block out all stray thoughts.  It didn’t work.  And why would it?  They were all that preoccupied her.  But then Carmilla’s voice broke through her thoughts and hit her to the core.  Okay.  If she couldn’t stop thinking about them, she wouldn’t.  She’d let the song speak for itself.

 

With every chord she hit, she tried to mentally reach out to Danny.   _ Please.  Please hear this message and understand _ .

 

She didn’t, of course. Or at least she didn’t seem to. What she  _ did  _ do was play the song and actually play it well this time. Laura did the same; of course, she was grinning at Danny as she played, which didn’t exactly mean Ell enjoyed her playing now any more than before. 

 

Carmilla...maybe that little ‘glimmer of hope’ as she seemed to interpret it gave her more energy. She was back to her kick-ass singing self. She even added a few quick falsettos into the song. There was one point that her voice actually  _ cracked  _ slightly but Carmilla, being Carmilla, could even make that sound good. 

 

When they finished, Laura and Danny were grinning.  Even Carmilla managed a small smirk.

 

“THAT.  WAS.  AWESOME.”  Laura was practically bouncing up and down she was so excited.  “And that thing you did with the twirl Danny?  That was so cool!”

 

Ell watched Carmilla’s face immediately shutter closed.  Wow.  Funny how easily someone could affect a person.

 

“Yeah?  I can show you sometime.”

 

And just like that Ell could feel her face fall.  Danny showing her how to play the drums was  _ their thing _ .  It was one of the first times they’d gotten to know each other.  And now Danny was offering Laura the same thing and it  _ stung _ .

 

“That would be  _ awesome,”  _ Laura answered. 

 

“Cool. Meet me in the practice room tomorrow morning?” 

 

Danny couldn’t have hurt her more if she had punched her in the gut. 

 

Carmilla was sporting an equally wounded expression although she masked it quickly.

 

“You assholes can flirt on your own time.  We’re going to finish this practice and then I’m fucking out of here.  Ell you’re coming with me.”

 

Ell was startled out of her thoughts with a brief, “huh?”

 

Carmilla just levelled her with a look that said not to argue and Ell was sure that sitting by herself and moping over Laura and Danny’s newfound relationship after practice would be the worse alternative so she agreed.

 

“Alright let’s fucking go Xena.  We don’t have all day.  Places to be, people to do.”

 

Ell wished that death glares were literal, because killing Carmilla would have solved  _ so many problems.  _

 

“Wow fucking hypocrite much?” Danny was glaring at Carmilla’s and it at least rivalled Ell’s, “you were doing the same thing a second ago.”

 

Ell chanced a glance at Laura whose face had gone pale.  She was fiddling half-heartedly with something on her bass.

 

This was such a mess.  And Carmilla  _ was not helping _ .

 

“Okay you” she pointed to Carmilla, “shut up and stop antagonizing people.  And you” she pointed at Danny although she couldn’t quite manage eye contact, “do the same and then everyone can go home happy?”

 

Carmilla grumbled something that sounded like it might have been nasty and Danny gripped her drumsticks tighter.

 

Laura placed a calming hand on Danny’s arm and she calmed down before counting them off and launching them back into the song.

 

So they were playing again.  But that little touch was going to drive Ell insane.  She just couldn’t win.

 

“Okay, we’re good,” Carmilla said after an hour, “Let’s call it a day. You coming, Cinnabon?” 

 

Ell took one last look at Laura and Danny before tearing her eyes away to look at Carmilla. 

 

“First of all, it’s  _ my  _ house. You are coming with me, not the other way around. Second,” Ell grabbed Carmilla by the arm, pulling her outside and hissing, “Seriously Carmilla, cut it  _ out.”  _

 

“Wow, getting rough with your girlfriend, Cinnabon? Maybe Red isn’t a good influence on you.” 

 

“YOU ARE NOT MY GIRLFRIEND.” 

 

Carmilla glared at her.  “Wow say it louder.  I don’t think Danny and Laura heard you.”

 

Ell’s jaw dropped at Carmilla’s complete lack of remorse.

 

“I  _ want _ them to hear me.  Lying is literally what got me into this mess.  What makes you think that I want to lie to them  _ again _ ?”

 

Carmilla raised an eyebrow, “because it means you win the break-up.  Obviously.”

 

“I don’t  _ want  _ to win the breakup! I want Danny  _ back.  _ That is the only way I will win this breakup.” Ell finished spitefully, “Besides, you won’t win the breakup if you get back together with me. Danny is  _ way  _ better than you.” 

 

Carmilla’s face twisted into a glare.  “Careful there Cinnabon.  You know as well as I do that if I throw that same insult back into your face it’s going to hurt you way more than your version hurts me.”

 

“Fuck you,” Ell spat, and then covered her mouth, eyes widening in shock. She stared at Carmilla with the expression of one who just slapped somebody several times their size. She swallowed--several times--and finally decided that no matter what she was dead, so better not to back down. “...I am not lying to them so that you can get back at Laura for dumping you. If you want to win a breakup, get a new girlfriend. Or are you so rusty that you can only get a girl that already knows you?” 

 

Carmilla’s eyes narrowed into slits and her fingers curled into fists.  She took a menacing step towards Ell who involuntarily took a step back.

 

“Look  _ bitch _ .  I could get any girl I goddamn wanted.  I’m using you because I know you don’t actually have feelings for me and I’m not cold-hearted enough to jerk someone around who might.  But sure.  Keep being an asshole.  See where that gets you.  And next time you’re crying because of Danny or Laura don’t fucking come find me.  I’m out of here.”

 

With that final declaration, Carmilla turned on her heel to leave.

 


	15. Chapter 15

Ell didn’t go after Carmilla. Why should she? Carmilla was causing more problems than she was solving. She wouldn’t,  _ couldn’t  _ lie to Danny anymore. If being honest meant being alone, at least Ell was taking the more noble route.

 

The next morning, Ell avoided the practice room like the plague.  She didn’t want and probably couldn’t handle Danny and Laura being all cutesy together and flirting.  At least if she didn’t see it, she could pretend it wasn’t happening.  Juvenile.  But necessary.

 

By lunchtime, she was well and truly miserable.  She hadn’t been able to focus on her classes all day.  Since she didn’t want to run into Laura at the lunch table and she  _ definitely _ didn’t want to run into Danny outside, she ran to the only place she felt safe anymore at the school.  The practice room.  

 

When she got there, it was blessedly empty.  Rather than playing, she put her bag down and slumped over in her chair, letting her cheek rest on the relatively chilly piano cover.  This was nice.  This was peaceful.  Maybe she could just hide out here all day until they had band practice?

 

The universe, unfortunately, had other plans. 

 

The door opened, and there she was; Danny, holding a brown paper bag lunch and freezing at the sight of Ell at the piano. Both looked at each other in silence before Danny finally cleared her throat and said: 

“I didn’t think you’d be here.” 

 

Ell huffed from her position on the piano.  “Where else would I be?”  She stared back, “you aren’t laughing it up with Laura at the lunch table?”

 

“Well, considering we only have a week to learn a new song I thought I’d need the practice,” Danny said, looking away and running a hand through her hair. 

 

Ell tilted her head curiously. As the realization dawned on her, her face was on the verge of an amused smile. 

 

“Wait. Wait. You don’t  _ want  _ to go eat at the lunch table.” 

 

Danny didn’t answer her directly. “You know if you’re not going to leave I can go--” 

 

“You don’t  _ want  _ to sit with Laura,” Ell couldn’t help her smile, “You don’t have a thing for Laura. You don’t like her as much as you liked me.” 

 

“If anything I like her  _ more  _ than you,” Danny answered indignantly, “Unlike you I know she dated Carmilla, for starters.” 

 

Ell ignored her; she realized this must have been how Carmilla felt when Laura’s ranting was still proof she somewhat cared. 

 

“You never passed up on a chance to spend time with me. But you totally are willing to not hang out with Laura. I don’t know, Danny, it sounds like you’re just not into her.” 

 

Danny’s eyes narrowed.  “So what?  Now that you’re back with your one true love you’re suddenly an expert on me and my feelings?  Did you ever even have feelings for me? Were you seeing Carmilla behind my back the whole time?”

 

Ell’s eyes widened; slowly, she got up from the piano bench, standing in front of Danny. 

 

“Did Laura tell you that so you could throw it back in my face to hurt me?” 

 

“What?” 

 

“I thought she was seeing Carmilla. While we were dating.” Ell had never felt so angry; but Danny hit Ell’s worst nerve. “How could you even ask me that? What, is it not enough that I kept watching you practice and couldn’t get up the nerve to speak to you? Or that I could barely talk when I was around you? Or that I let you take a nap at my house? Or--or even though we weren’t even dating, I couldn’t bear the look on your face if you found out the whole,  _ humiliating  _ story of how Carmilla and I broke up?” 

 

Her hands balled into fists, breathing quickening. “I  _ did  _ have feelings for you, Danny. And they were so strong and confusing that I couldn’t think. And I did stupid things. Because I kept thinking I wasn’t good enough for you anyway, and there was  _ no way  _ I was going to be if Carmilla was thrown in. But I am  _ not  _ a cheater,” Ell’s voice raised, “And I am  _ not  _ going to let you call me a cheater.” 

 

Something twisted in Danny’s face, a darkness rising that Ell had never seen before.  Even before she spoke, Ell could tell that she wasn’t going to like whatever came out of Danny’s mouth next.

 

“If you weren’t a cheater, then what were you doing?  Just waiting for Laura and Carmilla to be on a break so you could swoop in and steal her back?   _One day_.  Literally one day and you seduced your supposed best friend’s ex by plying her with alcohol.  What kind of person does that make you Ell?  Did you wait for Laura’s tears to dry or did you take Carmilla to your place and _fuck_ _her_ as soon as we left?”

 

Her legs were springing forward before she could think better of it; her hand was raising up without her mind’s prompting; it struck Danny in the face when her brain was still stuck at the other side of the room next to the piano. It was not particularly hard, but shock made Danny feel as though an iron had branded her. 

 

Ell looked down at her hand as though it were covered in blood.  She took a deep, shuddery breath, swiping her backpack off the floor and rushing past a still frozen Danny.

 

It was only when she barricaded herself in one of the bathroom stalls that Ell allowed herself to cry.

 

This could not be fixed. How could anyone forgive Ell for that, whether they deserved it or not? How could Danny ever want to be with someone who slapped her in the face? 

 

If Laura ever spoke to her again, Ell vowed to give a proper apology. She was right; being accused of cheating sucked. 

 

And even  _ she  _ never hit Ell over it. 

 

Ell felt Carmilla’s words from the day before come back to haunt her.  She had briefly entertained the thought that reconciliation with Danny was possible.  What a wakeup call  _ that _ conversation had been.  And she had managed to isolate Carmilla as well.  The one person that had sort of been on her side.

 

Maybe after the Battle of the Bands was all over, Ell could convince her parents to move to the other side of the country so she could start over.  It seemed like the only way to dig herself out of this mess.

 

Until then, Ell guessed that she just had to learn to be okay with eating lunch in the bathroom. 

 

*

 

Ell forced herself to go to practice.  Despite how much she didn’t want to.  Danny hated her guts.  Laura and Danny would probably be flirting.  Before she’d at least had Carmilla to rely on.  Now she didn’t even have that.  But she’d promised.  And it was only a week.  So she was going to see it through.

 

Still, she dragged her feet, and she fully expected the three of them to already be waiting, probably ready with some nasty remark at her expense that was not entirely undeserved. Instead, Laura was pacing back and forth and Danny was speaking too low for Ell to hear. 

 

“Um, guys?” Ell asked before she remembered that she was very much not welcome to talk to them, “Is something wrong?” 

 

“Where’s your girlfriend?” Danny asked, not taking her eyes off a very anxious Laura, “She hasn’t shown up.”

 

Laura looked so worried that Ell ignored the ‘girlfriend’ remark. “I haven’t heard from her, either,” Ell said, “She wasn’t with me?” 

 

“She’s usually here by now,” Laura mumbled, “She’s never late for band practice. Or if she is it’s not this bad. Stupid rock star attitude...she’s probably being late to make us angry…” 

 

Ell shuffled her feet uncomfortably.  She didn’t want to talk to Carmilla.  Actually if she didn’t have to talk to any of them, that would be great.

 

They were quiet for a few more minutes before Laura spoke up again, clearly worried on the ground and holding her head.

 

“Ell where did she go this morning?”

 

Ell blinked at Laura, confused.  “This morning?”

 

“She slept at your place, didn’t she?”

 

“Um...no?”

 

Something akin to panic was crossing Laura’s face.  “But there was a thunderstorm last night!  Where was she?”

 

Ell bit her lip.  She’d remembered hearing the storm, but she hadn’t really thought about what that had meant for Carmilla.  She’d tried not to think at all.  Wow.  Now she felt even worse.

 

“Maybe she was at the church?  I think she stays there sometimes when it rains.”

 

“Well we have to go there!  Maybe someone will know where she went!”  Laura leapt to her feet, a certain familiar gleam in her eye.  Ell knew exactly what that look meant.  It meant that Laura had a mystery to solve and she was going to drag everyone in her path into it until she got to the bottom of it.

 

“Oh boy…” Danny shook her head, following Laura as she ran out. “Are you coming? You should be more worried than Laura.” 

 

She was pointedly not looking at her, Ell noticed. Unsurprisingly. Ell wondered if she told Laura about the slap. If she did Laura was obviously too preoccupied with Carmilla to care. 

 

Laura kept ranting about ‘stupid ex girlfriends’ the entire walk to the church, which would have been bad enough, if Danny wasn’t agreeing with Laura about how ‘stupid exes could be’. Ell kept a few feet behind both of them, hoping Carmilla was okay. 

 

As soon as they got to the church, Laura stopped a priest to begin interrogating him.  He looked wildly confused for a few moments, before slowly nodding.

 

“Ah yes.  That girl.  She refuses to talk to me so I’ve never known her name.  I do worry about her.”

 

“So she has been here!  Do you know where she left to this morning?”

 

He frowned, glancing at the trio of them.

 

“She was not here last night I’m afraid.”

 

“Well she wouldn’t have stayed in the park if it was raining!” Laura answered, “So where could she have gone?” 

 

Ell risked answering, raising her hand slightly. “Um, that’s assuming she wasn’t already asleep when it was raining?” 

 

She turned quickly toward Ell. “What do you mean?” 

 

“I mean...when did it start raining? If it was the middle of the night...I mean, you know. She might not have moved.” 

 

“Well then come on!” 

 

“I was a three sport athlete and I can’t keep up with you, Laura,” Danny complained, turning slowly and jogging after her. Ell could barely keep both of them in her sights as she followed, turning to thank the priest before she disappeared out the door. 

 

As they approached the park, Laura was already scanning the scene for people to interrogate.  But the park was pretty much empty.  It was still chilly from the rain last night and everything was still damp.

 

Ell could see the sag in Laura’s shoulders as they lost their last good lead.

 

And then Danny gasped.  “Oh my  _ god _ .”

 

Both Laura and Ell whipped their head around to the direction Danny was looking.  There, curled up on a bench, was a tiny prone figure with a mass of long, dark, wavy hair. She was shivering violently and, occasionally giving small pathetic coughs. 

 

Laura was sprinting towards the figure before Ell even had time to register that it was Carmilla.

 

“Carm!  Carm!”  Laura was shouting, but the figure gave no sign that it heard.

 

Laura was there in an instant, with Ell and Danny still running after her.

 

“Guys.  She’s burning up!  What do we do?”  Laura turned back to Carmilla, “what did you do you idiot?”

 

Carmilla coughed, but did not open her eyes.

 

“Hospital…?” Danny suggested, “Nine-one-one? Anyone else think that might be good?” 

 

“No,” came a weak voice, quickly followed by a cough.

 

The three of them startled, looking down at Carmilla.

 

“...be fine.”  This statement was punctuated by a coughing fit.

 

“Seriously, that does not exactly make us believe you--” 

 

“ _ No,  _ Danny. She says she doesn’t want to go.” Laura bent down. She gently stroked Carmilla’s forehead. “Come on. We’ll get her...I don’t know. But we can’t just leave her here.” 

 

Ell rocked back on her heels.

 

“Well where else do you propose we take her?  There aren’t exactly a lot of options.”

 

“I’ve got two little kids in my house,” Danny said, “I can’t bring Carmilla, she’ll get them sick.” 

 

“Ell, can’t you do it?” Laura asked, “Considering the fact that she’s--” 

 

“Okay. On today’s installment of ‘Carmilla is not my girlfriend’, I am going to have to politely say no.” 

 

She was not normally so sarcastic, but Ell was getting rather tired of it. 

 

“Ell,” Laura said again, “ _ Please.”  _

 

Carmilla hacked wetly, and Ell winced. She had to admit that didn’t sound good. And for all of the swearing and the slapping she’d been doing lately, Ell was unfortunately still a good person. 

 

“...Carmilla can stay with me,” Ell finally answered, “But Danny is going to have to be the one to carry her since I can’t.” 

 

Danny grimaced, but slung an arm under Carmilla’s legs and another behind her shoulders.

 

Carmilla coughed again.

 

“You know,” she said weakly, “if I was ever going to be carried bridal style, I hadn’t pictured it being by Clifford.”

 

“Carmilla, I swear I will drop you,” Danny answered, hefting her up. She was so weak that it was like carrying a dead body--which was probably not the image Ell or Laura wanted to see. Danny grunted, shifting Carmilla a little in her arms, before walking back. 

 

Laura walked around the two of them as they all walked back, biting her lip and rubbing her hands nervously. “Ell?” 

 

“Yes?” 

 

“Make sure Carmilla has soup. And more than one blanket, she’ll probably be freezing. And definitely some medicine.”

 

“You know, maybe you’d be better at this than me Laura, you seem to be--” 

 

“Please don’t start, okay?” Laura snapped. 

 

Ell snapped her jaw shut, flinching a little.  Despite all of their ups and downs of the past several months, it was still hard for Ell to deal with Laura yelling at her.

 

“She’s my ex too,” Ell mumbled, as she let herself fall further back from Laura and Danny.

 

When they finally made it to Ell’s house, Danny unceremoniously dropped Carmilla onto the couch in the family room--where Danny had napped the first time she came over to Ell’s house. She couldn’t help but notice that. 

 

“Danny, you need to be  _ gentle.”  _

 

“My bad,” Danny said, not sounding very sorry. Laura looked at Ell, and then Danny. 

 

“...I guess practice is cancelled, then?” 

 

“Seriously, we can’t keep cancelling practice or cutting it short,” Danny said, “Especially since Carmilla is so obsessed with us doing her new song.” 

 

“I can’t go,” Ell said, not that either of them cared, “I need to stay here and make sure Carmilla doesn’t choke on her own coughing.” 

 

“...That’s fine. Danny, do you want to just practice with me at my house? I know you said you don’t have your own drum kit.” 

 

Danny smiled at Laura. “That’d be great. At least we can work on our parts.” 

 

Ell stared at them. “Wait, wait, two people? Are you absolutely sure that’s--” 

 

“It’s a  _ great  _ idea,” Danny continued, “Ell has her own piano, she can practice her part on her own. It’s really sweet of you to let me use your garage to practice drums, Laura.” She followed her out the door as Laura said: 

 

“Anytime, Danny, it’s always fun to hang out with you…” 

 

Leaving Ell alone. While Danny and Laura basically, totally, were on a date. 

 

Well, not alone. With Carmilla. Sick, feverish Carmilla. Which was totally even better than being alone. 

 

Ell grumbled lightly to herself before setting about getting a cold cloth.  That was something people did for people with fevers, right?

 

She wrung out the towel and placed it on Carmilla’s forehead.

 

Carmilla moaned.

 

“Laura?”

 

Ell’s body turned cold. What. She started to stand up. 

 

“Um, Carmilla--” 

 

“No, Laura, don’t go,” Carmilla grabbed Ell’s wrist, the grip weak. Ell could have shaken her off easily, but Carmilla sounded desperate. “Laura? Laura, I am  _ sorry.”  _

 

At a loss for words, Ell could only say, “Oh.” 

 

“I didn’t get back together with Ell. I could never...I could never be with anyone else. They’re not you. I only want to be with you, Cupcake. I only want you.” 

 

Her head fell back on the couch, and her grip loosened; Ell started to back away, hoping it was over. But then Carmilla kept speaking, her voice a raspy murmur. 

 

“...You can do everything for me,” she continued, “Buy me clothes, food, keep me chained in your basement for all I care. But I  _ love you,  _ Laura. I love you and I want you back and please tell me I can fix this…” 

 

Her eyes widened as she stared at Carmilla, feeling like she had just intruded on an  _ extremely  _ private moment. From the absolute desperate, pleading tone, Ell had a sickening feeling that this was the first time the word ‘love’ had been used. 

 

“L-Laura…?” 

 

Ell shook her head vigorously. God, she knew they were L Squared, but Ell was seven inches taller than Laura and  _ blonde.  _ Did they really look that much alike? Ell swallowed. 

 

She had to say something, so she said the only thing that was true: 

 

“...I really think you can fix things, Carm. Get some rest.” 

 

And Carmilla smiled, breathing becoming slower, and Ell let out a breath when she realized she fell asleep.  She buried her head in her hands.  God what a mess.

 

Ell spent the rest of the day intermittently fetching Carmilla water and trying to get her temperature down.  Nothing really seemed to work although the violent shaking had subsided.

 

She was exhausted by nightfall.  The only real benefit to the whole arrangement is that she didn’t really have time to dwell on how Danny and Laura might be getting on.

 

She checked to make sure Carmilla had enough blankets and put some more water and ibuprofen on the table next to her, before heading up the stairs for some well-deserved rest.

 

Just when she had crawled into bed, a familiar flash of light came through her window.

 


	16. Chapter 16

ELL

 

She scrambled out of bed, grabbing her flashlight. 

 

YES LAURA

 

IS CARMILLA ALRIGHT

 

Ell blinked for a moment and then snorted to herself.  Laura could pretend whatever she liked, but she was still every bit as enamored as the idiot downstairs who’d confessed her undying affection to the wrong half of L squared.

 

SHE IS OKAY

 

The reply was immediate.  And overwhelming.

 

OKAY BUT WHAT DOES OKAY MEAN?  HAS SHE EATEN ANYTHING?  DOES SHE NEED MORE FLUIDS?  HAVE YOU GIVEN HER ANY MEDICINE?  WHAT’S HER TEMPERATURE LIKE?

 

Ell rolled her eyes. 

 

WELL MRS. HOLLIS YOUR DAUGHTER CARMILLA IS AMONG THE LIVING AND IS PROBABLY GOING TO STAY THERE DOES THAT WORK

 

DO NOT TEST ME PLEASE ELL

 

Ell sighed. What was the friend version of whipped? Because that was Ell right now. 

 

SHE WOULD NOT EAT ANYTHING I GAVE HER WATER SHE HAD SOME TROUBLE KEEPING IT DOWN BUT EVENTUALLY I MANAGED TO GET HER TO DRINK SOME HER FEVER HAS GONE DOWN A LITTLE I THINK

 

YOU REALLY SHOULD MAKE HER EAT SOMETHING

 

HAVE YOU TRIED GETTING HER TO DO SOMETHING SHE DOES NOT WANT TO DO

 

There was a pause in the flurry of messages.  Ell scratched her head sleepily.  Why… oh.  Oh no.  Possibly poor word choice.  Just as Ell was panicking, Laura’s light began blinking again.

 

YOU NEED TO FORCE HER ANYWAY.  SHE CAN HATE US FOR IT WHEN SHE’S BETTER

 

US I THOUGHT IT WAS MY PROBLEM REMEMBER SINCE SHE IS APPARENTLY MY GIRLFRIEND ACCORDING TO YOU

 

ELL I SWEAR TO THE GOD IN THE SHINY BLUE PHONE BOX

 

LAURA I SWEAR ON 

 

Ell paused to think about it.  On what?

 

I SWEAR ON COOKANDY CAKES AND BEST FRIEND TSHIRTS THAT WE DID NOT GET BACK TOGETHER

 

There was another long pause, Ell biting her lip so hard it was probably bleeding. 

 

WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME ABOUT DANNY

 

That was not where she thought Laura was going to go, but it was better than calling Ell a liar. 

 

BECAUSE YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD HER ABOUT CARM AND I HAD BEEN LYING ABOUT IT SO LONG THAT I WAS AFRAID SHE WOULD DUMP ME FOR IT

 

She added after a moment: 

 

TO BE FAIR I WAS RIGHT

 

Laura’s window was dark for a long while and Ell was starting to think that she wasn’t going to get a reply out of Laura.  Finally, the familiar light winked back into being.

 

YOU DIDN’T THINK I WOULD HAVE CHOSEN YOU MY BEST FRIEND OVER DANNY WHO I’VE KNOWN FOR A FEW MONTHS

 

Ell paused, stomach turning. 

 

YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD CARMILLA THOUGH AND SHE THREATENED TO TELL HER

 

NOT IF YOU TOLD ME NOT TO ELL WE WERE BEST FRIENDS I MEAN I WOULD CHOOSE EVERYONE OVER YOU

 

BUT YOU DIDN’T CHOOSE ME OVER CARMILLA THE FIRST TIME

 

I APOLOGIZED FOR THAT AND SHE NEEDED ME MORE THAT TIME

 

WELL I APOLOGIZED FOR LYING ABOUT DANNY AND YOU DON’T CARE

 

YOU DIDN’T

 

Ell’s eyebrows climbed.  What?  She let her flashlight flicker her confusion.

 

WHAT?

 

YOU NEVER APOLOGIZED

 

Ell paused.  Didn’t she?

 

OF COURSE I WAS SORRY LIKE SERIOUSLY WHY WOULDN’T I BE

 

There was another pregnant pause and Ell caught Laura’s figure shifting restlessly by her window.

 

IT’S HARD TO TRUST THAT YOU MEAN THAT

 

WHY

 

BECAUSE YOU LIED TO MY FACE FOR WEEKS AND ONLY APOLOGIZED AFTER I JUST DRAGGED IT OUT OF YOU

 

Ell stared at the shadowed figure in the other window, frowning. She  _ was  _ sorry. She was absolutely sorry. Out of Danny or Laura, losing Laura was definitely worse. 

 

LAURA WHAT CAN I DO TO FIX THIS. OR AT LEAST START TO MAKE YOU NOT HATE ME ANYMORE. I WILL DO LITERALLY ANYTHING.

 

Laura’s side was dark for an unbearably long time as Ell stared out her window, hoping to see the light flicked again.  Moment rolled on by like leaves drifting in the wind.  Ell stared harder, willing Laura to respond.  When the response finally came, it was slow and halting.  The kind of speed they hadn’t used since they were first learning morse code.

 

AN EXPLANATION MIGHT BE NICE.  NO LIES NO OMISSIONS NO HALF-TRUTHS.  

 

Ell looked down at her flashlight, then back at the window. Where could she start? What hadn’t she told Laura yet? 

 

I

 

She stopped. 

 

LAURA

 

Ell stopped again. 

 

YOU ARE THE BEST PERSON I KNOW. AND I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN YOUR BEST FRIEND. EVERYONE IS YOUR FRIEND, THEN MY FRIEND, NEVER THE OTHER WAY AROUND. BECAUSE YOU’RE SUPER CONFIDENT AND OUTGOING AND AWKWARD IN A CHARMING SORT OF WAY AND I AM NOT--

 

Ell stopped flashing the light. She had no idea where she was going with this. It sort of just came out. 

 

AND THEN I MET DANNY, AND SHE LIKED YOU BUT YOU GUYS WEREN’T SUPER CLOSE, BUT SHE REALLY LIKED ME. AFTER CARMILLA I THOUGHT NO ONE WOULD EVER CHOOSE ME OVER YOU AND DANNY DID. AND I GUESS IF I TOLD YOU THEN YOU WOULD HAVE TRIED TO BE BETTER FRIENDS WITH DANNY BUT I LIKED HAVING HER SORT OF SEPARATE FROM US. 

 

Almost as soon as Ell stopped flashing her light, Laura’s winked on.

 

YOU THINK YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE THAT’S INSECURE IN THIS FRIENDSHIP

 

Ell blinked.  That was… not what she was expecting after that word vomit.

 

WHAT?

 

NEWS FLASH ELL.  I GET INSECURE TOO.  I’M THE OBNOXIOUS ONE WHO ANNOYS PEOPLE.  YOU’RE THE GOOD ONE.  THEY MIGHT LIKE ME FIRST BUT AFTER THEY GET TO KNOW US, THEY LIKE YOU MORE.  SO YEAH MAYBE I LIKED THE FACT THAT CARMILLA LIKED ME EVEN AFTER SHE KNEW YOU FOR A WHILE

 

Ell’s immediate reply: 

 

BUT LAURA THAT IS NOT TRUE YOU ARE AWESOME HAS ANYONE SAID THAT TO YOU THEY CAN FIGHT ME

 

NO BUT HAS ANYONE SAID ANY OF THAT STUFF ABOUT YOU 

 

Ell paused.  Not…  _ outright _ .  It was always implied.  But she could tell.

 

NOT EXACTLY

 

ELL IF YOU THINK ANY OF THIS IS JUST IN MY HEAD HAVE YOU CONSIDERED IT MIGHT BE JUST IN YOURS TOO

 

THAT IS--

 

Ell stopped. It was  _ true.  _ Totally true. 

 

\--SO HAS THIS ENTIRE THING JUST BEEN BOTH OF US BEING STUPID

 

YOU WERE STUPID MORE RECENTLY THAN I WAS

 

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW LAURA

 

I AM THE OBNOXIOUS ONE.  IT IS PART OF MY CHARM

 

IF I DIDN’T HAVE TO KEEP TRACK OF CARMILLA I WOULD COME OVER THERE AND WHACK YOU WITH A PILLOW

 

As if on cue Ell heard a  _ thump  _ and a cry of, “JESUS SHIT THE FUCK AM I?” 

 

Ell quickly flashed to Laura

 

SORRY HAVE TO CHECK ON CARMILLA

 

With that last thought, she shuffled back downstairs.  

 

Carmilla was laying in a tangle of blankets on the floor next to Ell’s couch.  She looked disoriented and highly irritated.

 

“Ell?  What the fuck?  How did I get here?”

 

“You...don’t remember  _ anything?”  _

 

Carmilla glared up at her.  “Am I supposed to?  Last I really remember you were being a bitch and then I left for the park.”

 

Carmilla sniffed her sleeve.

 

“Ew.  Did Clifford touch me for some reason?”

 

Ell gave her an exasperated look.  “There’s no way you  _ smelled  _ that. What do you remember?”

 

Carmilla’s lip curled.  “I know the smell of wet dog when I smell it.”

 

“Carmilla, you fell asleep on a bench and got caught in a thunderstorm. I’m pretty sure if there’s wet dog smell it’s  _ you.”  _

 

Carmilla folded her arms.  “Nope.  And you didn’t answer my question.  Was the beanstalk touching me for some reason?”

 

Ell ran a hand through her hair.  “Ugh fine.  Yes.  Neither Laura or I could carry you.  So Danny did.”

 

“ _ Laura  _ was there?” 

 

“Kind of? Actually, no. Not kind of. She practically tore a path of destruction trying to figure out where you were.” 

 

Carmilla’s face softened for the first time in the conversation and she looked up at Ell with big, round eyes.

 

“She did?”

 

“She almost punched out a priest,” Ell answered dryly, and Ell thought she’d never seen Carmilla happier. Including the first time they said ‘I love you’ to each other. 

 

“Where is she now?” 

 

“Home. She doesn’t want you to know she cares--she wants me to force you to eat something, though. Is there anything you can eat?” 

 

“Cinnabons?” 

 

Ell raised her eyebrows. 

 

“...Sorry. Force of habit. I dunno, I don’t really feel like eating anything.” 

 

“You should probably eat something so Laura doesn’t kill me in the morning.”

 

Carmilla grinned.  “She’d kill you over that?”

 

“She would beat me to death with her bass,” Ell said, rolling her eyes, “Will you  _ please  _ swallow some soup now?” 

 

Carmilla’s smile grew wider.  “I kind of want to see that, though.”

 

Ell glared.  “I will text her to say you’re not cooperating.”

 

“Will she come over?” 

 

“CARMILLA EAT.” 

 

“ _ Fine.  _ Only because I don’t want Laura to get blood all over that bass. It’s a nice bass.” 

 

She managed to pull herself up from the couch, moaning. Ell got into the pantry, emptied a can of chicken noodle soup into a can, microwaved it, and walked back into the living room with a spoon. 

 

“Alright Carmilla, eat.” 

 

“... _ Feed me,”  _ Carmilla moaned. 

 

“You have got to be kidding me.” 

 

Carmilla flopped back down on the couch, closing her eyes, and opening her mouth.

 

“Carmilla Karnstein we are not dating.  This is  _ not _ my responsibility.”

 

“I’m  _ ill.  _ I need  _ food,”  _ Carmilla said hoarsely, “Besides, in a few minutes I’ll probably go back to being barely conscious if that.” 

 

That was true. Ell gritted her teeth. 

 

“Fine. Open your mouth and sit up.” 

 

Carmilla made a groaning noise like it was hard to sit up and Ell rolled her eyes.  She had literally seen Carmilla sit up moments ago.

 

As soon as Carmilla opened her mouth, Ell fed her a spoonful.  Which Carmilla promptly spat back out.

 

“Ow!  What the fuck that’s really hot!”

 

“Ohmygod are you serious Carmilla?”

 

Carmilla crossed her arms.  “You need to blow on it.  Don’t you know anything?”

 

“...Okay have a good night Carmilla.” 

 

“Wait, where are you--” 

 

“You can wait for the soup to cool down.” 

 

Ell turned to leave as she heard Carmilla grumble under her breath, “Laura would’ve done it.”

 

Ell spun back towards Carmilla putting her hands on her hips.  “Yes well.  If you’d like to make up with your girlfriend so you can bug  _ her _ instead, be my guest.”

 

Carmilla stayed silent. 

 

“Besides,” Ell continued, “Laura would have, but if memory serves you wouldn’t have let her.” 

 

Carmilla opened her mouth to refute it, but quickly closed it again.

 

Ell sighed.  “You two really need to get back together again soon.  For my sanity’s sake.”

 

“Believe me, if I had any idea how--” 

 

“Have you tried begging?” 

 

“Did you try that on Clifford?” 

 

“...I kind of slapped her this morning.” 

 

Carmilla looked at her.  She gave a low whistle. “I’m kind of impressed Cinnabon.”

 

Ell slumped, “well it destroyed my chances of ever getting back together with her.  So.  You and Laura could have it way worse.”

 

Carmilla grabbed the bowl in her hands, expression indiscernible as she lifted it to her lips and sipped. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Carmilla finally said, “You and Red were both annoying. Perfect for each other.” 

 

It was the closest thing to sincerity Carmilla would give, and Ell took it. “Um. Well. Sorry for saying ‘fuck you’.” 

 

“Yeah, you really should have told me to ‘fuck Laura’.’” 

 

“Okay, remind me of how we lasted twelve months.” 

 

Carmilla shrugged.  “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”  She sank back smacking her lips a little.  “You really think Laura will take me back?”

 

“You have both been broken up for less than a week and you almost died on a park bench, and Laura tore a path of destruction through town. I feel like you both kind of need each other.” 

 

Carmilla mumbled something quietly which Ell didn’t catch.

 

“What was that?”

 

Carmilla raised her voice although an embarrassed blush was quickly spreading across her features, “I  _ said _ that I need Laura.  Laura doesn’t really need me.  Why would she?  I’m just a homeless black hole leeching off of her sunshine.”

 

Ell was taken aback slightly by the poeticness of Carmilla’s statement. But then again, she was a songwriter. She could probably say stuff like that all the time if she wanted. 

 

“Oh my God, is everyone I know secretly super insecure?” Ell complained. 

 

“What are you--” 

 

“Carmilla Karnstein. You listen to me. You are literally the hottest human being on the planet--” 

 

“What about--” 

 

“Danny is more of a sophisticated gorgeous whereas you’re more of a raw sex appeal type.”

 

“Wow, you’ve apparently thought this through.” 

 

Ell waved her off with a hand.  “That’s not the point!  The point is that you’re really attractive--”

 

“Thanks Cinnabon, but it’s not  _ you _ I’m trying to attract--”

 

“--shut up I am making an objective statement.”

 

Ell paused.  “Right.  You’re super hot.  You know this.  If you can’t get the girl of your dreams, what hope do the rest of us have?”

 

“To die alone?” 

 

“Exactly! You have to at least  _ try,  _ Carmilla,” Ell was getting rather dramatic now, a tactic she usually reserved for pumping up Laura after a bad day. “You are Carmilla Karnstein, rock star, sex symbol, sarcastic woman of the night! Laura would be crazy not to take you back!”

 

Carmilla scrubbed at her eyes.  “Do you think if I went over right now and begged, she would?”

 

Ell’s eyes widened and she coughed.  “Um… maybe wait until you’re less fevered and delirious?” 

 

“How do I know I’m not hallucinating this entire thing?” Carmilla murmured, sinking back onto the couch. 

 

“Aaaand that is the fever talking,” Ell said, grabbing the blanket and tucking it around her--God, this felt  _ way  _ too couple-y--and grabbing the bowl of soup to put in the sink.  By the time she got back, Carmilla was already asleep.

 

Ell sighed.  “Sleep tight Carm.  Hopefully you and Laura can make up in the morning.”

 

Ell trudged back upstairs, more than ready to go to bed for good this time.  Her phone caught her eye, buzzing with bright white intensity in the dark room.

 

She twitched.  47 unread messages.  All from Laura. 

  
  
  
  
  



	17. Chapter 17

 

 

The messages were all basically the same, although they got increasingly angry. The last one was just ‘I WILL KILL YOU ELL’.

 

Ell answered them. Every single one, with the same thing: Carmilla is fine, she is asleep, and will Laura PLEASE LET HER GO TO BED.

 

She got a single sheepish text back that just said:  Sorry.  I got really worried.

 

Ell rolled her eyes and shot a quick text back: it’s fine.  Good NIGHT.

 

With that, she put her phone on the nightstand and flipped over to go to sleep.

 

*

 

When she woke up she could hear her parents talking outside of her room. She sat up, rubbing her eyes.

 

“Um...Mom? Dad? When did you guys get home?”

 

There was a break in the conversation before some rapid muttering.  Finally, her door creaked open.

 

“Ah.  Ell.  We didn’t know you were up.”

 

“Yeah. Morning. Is something wrong?”

 

There was another awkward pause until her mother spoke first.

 

“...Ell, why is your girlfriend sleeping on the couch? With a cold towel?”

 

Wait--

 

Oh. _OH._

 

“Mom, Dad, Carm and I broke up three months ago.”

 

Her parents exchanged glances.  

 

“Ell… honey.  That makes even less sense.  Why is she here then?”

 

“She got sick and we couldn’t move her.”

 

“We being…?”

 

“Me, Laura and Danny.”

 

Her parents glanced at each other again.

 

“And Danny is…?”

 

Ell took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Um. _Well._ Danny was kind of my girlfriend until a few days ago? We were dating for a couple of weeks?”

 

Her Dad pinched the bridge of his nose.  “Wait, wait, wait.  So you broke up with Carmilla, started dating Danny, broke up with Danny, and now Carmilla’s sleeping over?”

 

“Dad--Mom--I do not want to deal with this again. I got enough of this from Laura and Danny already, okay? Carmilla and I are still broken up. She is staying here because she got kicked out of her house, and she broke up with Laura--”

 

“She was _dating Laura?”_ Ell’s mother gasped.

 

“If you guys bothered to talk to me, you would know all of this,” Ell snapped, regretting it immediately. “Look--I--it’s a very complicated situation, okay? Except me and Carmilla. We are definitely not back together.”

 

“Pumpkin,” her dad took a tentative step into the room, “we’ve talked about this.  We try to be home as much as possible, but it’s difficult.”

 

Ell slumped back onto her bed, throwing a dramatic arm over her eyes, “yeah I got that the first hundred times you said it.”

 

“Is there anything we can do to help now…?” Ell’s mother asked tentatively. Ell grabbed a pillow and held it to her chest.

 

“Probably not, unless you’ve invented time travel.”

 

She really should ask LaFontaine about that next time she got the chance. Maybe they thought of something, with all the weird science they did with JP.

 

Her mom coughed once.  “So is your--um.  Is Carmilla going to be staying with us?”

 

Ell gave her a confused look.  “No.  Why would you say that?”

 

Her mom narrowed her eyes into a pointed look.  “You just told us she was homeless.  We may not be around much, but we care enough not to let a perfectly nice young woman live on the streets!”

 

Oh no. No no no no no. Ell could not handle that. She doubted she could have lived with Carmilla when they were together.

 

“Um...she would probably say no anyway. Not worth it?”

 

Her mom put her hands on her hips and Ell could see a storm coming.  Time to make a hasty exit.

 

“Speaking of Carmilla I better check on her byeee!”

 

With that, Ell dodged past both her parents and headed downstairs. She was sitting up on the couch, eating--

 

“When did Mom make _pancakes?”_

 

Carmilla looked at her. “Mrs. S woke me up and offered me some. Oh. And apparently they still think we’re dating. I didn’t bother to correct her.”

 

“Why…?”

 

Carmilla shrugged. “I wanted pancakes.”

 

Ell huffed.  “So clearly _you’re_ feeling better.  Good.  Now go make up with your girlfriend so the two of you can stop driving me insane.”

 

The way Carmilla’s face lit up just at the mention of Laura was kind of nauseating.

 

“You were talking to Laura?  What did she say?  Did she ask about me?”

 

“She texted me forty-seven times,” Ell answered.

 

“About _me_?”  Carmilla pressed her.

 

Ell rolled her eyes.

 

“You know what, maybe I won’t tell you. Maybe she was bragging about how she hooked up with Danny last night. You’ll never know.”

 

Carmilla smirked.  “No cause if _that_ was true, you’d be moping.  And you’re not.”

 

Ell threw her hands up, “oh my god you’re so insufferable!  Finish your pancakes and then we’re going to Laura’s.”

 

“Laura used to call me insufferable…” Carmilla sighed, shoving another sliver into her mouth. Ell went back upstairs to get dressed, making sure her parents had left her room.

 

When Ell got back downstairs, Carmilla was poking listlessly at the puddle of syrup left on her plate.

 

“What _now_?”

 

Carmilla was silent for a long moment.  Then, “I kind of wanted to do something… special?  I don’t want to just go over there empty handed.  I want to show Laura what she means to me.”

 

“So, like...you want to do a big romantic gesture. Um. I was always kind of terrible at grand romantic gestures Carm, remember?”

 

Carmilla huffed.  “Well I don’t know.  You could help or _something_.”

 

“What do you want to do? Did you guys have, like, special couple things or whatever?” Ell rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. When she promised herself she’d help Carmilla get back together with Laura, she hadn’t thought about how awkward the the actual process would be.

 

“I…” Carmilla fidgeted, “I was kind of thinking of singing her a song.”  She shot Ell a semi-apologetic glance.

 

“...Oh.” Ell tried not to let her discomfort show, “Um. Yeah. That always worked really well.”

 

“I just don’t know what to do, though,” Carmilla continued.

 

Ell bit her lip.  “Do you two have a song that’s special to the both of you?”

 

“Well...whenever I think of Laura, 'Your Song' comes to mind--”

 

“Whoa,” Ell interrupted, “You mean, as in Elton John? The piano man Elton John? Which is one of only two people I played on piano other than classical…?”

 

Carmilla looked extremely uncomfortable and finally said in one quick breath:

 

“I was listening to a stupid playlist I had been making as part of my Valentine’s Day gift for you before we broke up, and Laura found me listening to it, and that was the first time we hung out after the breakup and yes it is really awkward for a song I had been planning to show you now reminds me of Laura instead okay?”

 

Ell squeaked.  “ _Oh_.”

 

Carmilla shuffled from side to side.  “Yeah.  Oh.”

 

Ell gave herself a few moments to compose herself.  Would it be weird if she helped with this?  It would be totally weird, right?  To help play the song that your ex was listening to after breaking up with you to her other ex?

 

On the other hand... _get Laura away from Danny._ As unlikely as them ever getting together was. On Laura’s end, at least. Ell was pretty convinced after the slap that Danny would choose Laura over Ell any day of the week.

 

“Okay,” she said aloud.

 

Carmilla looked up at her.  “Okay, _what_?”

 

Ell clapped her hands together, pleased with the decision.  “Okay I’ll help you.”

 

Carmilla opened her mouth--whether to object or make a snarky comment Ell didn’t know--but Ell cut her off.

 

“You and I both know that that song is usually accompanied by piano.  Not guitar.  I’ll play.  You sing.”

 

“You can just play it?”

 

“Yeah. You...well, you obviously knew how much I love Elton John. Get some good clothes on and we’ll go.”

 

“Right _now?”_

 

Ell shrugged. “Laura never wakes up early. We’ll play outside her window before school starts. Like that one movie with the boombox?”

 

“... _Say Anything_?  Did you _never_ pay attention when I picked the movie?”

 

“You got together with my best friend on Valentine’s Day,” Ell answered, “Do not talk to me about etiquette.”

 

“...touche Cinnabon.”

 

“Right okay.  So you get yourself all pretty and I’ll grab my piano.”

 

Carmilla nodded and set off for the bathroom.

 

Ell breathed a sigh of relief.  Okay.  Hopefully Carmilla and Laura would be back on track soon.

 

She just needed to grab her electric keyboard and hope everything would go, if not as well as she hoped, not awful.

 

*

“Okay, Carmilla, are you ready?”

 

“Born ready, Cinnabon. Got your keyboard?”

 

Ell stood behind it. “Obviously. Your voice okay?”

 

“Seems like it. Just a twenty-four hour bug. I won’t push it too much.”

 

“Cool. Cool.” Ell nodded. “So...time to do this, right? ‘If music be the food of love, play on?’”

 

Carmilla looked up at Laura’s window. “Two things. First, you are a complete geek. Shakespeare, seriously? And...Cinnabon?”

 

“Yes…?”

 

Carmilla looked back at her. “Thanks. Ell.”

 

And just like that Carmilla looked back up at the window and shouted “LAURA HOLLIS!”  

 

No answer. She frowned. “Seriously? LAURA--”

 

“Carmilla, your _voice,_ remember?”

 

“She needs to wake up!”

 

“...Let me handle this I guess?”

 

It was easier said than done. Ell didn’t actually know what to do. In a fit of desperation, Ell grabbed her shoe and threw it at the window, hitting it with a _THUMP._

 

“What the fuck was that, Ell?”

 

Ell shrugged her shoulders helplessly.  “I didn’t know what to do!”

 

Carmilla looked like she was going to argue when a silhouette appeared at the window.  Ell took a breath.  This was it.

 

And then another silhouette moved.  Wait… what?

 

The window opened and a face poked out, red hair falling out the window. “What the…? Oh, Jesus. Laura! Dumb and Dumber are outside.”

 

“What. The. Fuck.” Carmilla said, looking up at the window, “Ell. Stay calm?”

 

Laura looked out the window, after Danny turned away. “Ell! Carmilla! What are you doing outside my house at seven in the morning...? And _oh my God,_ Carmilla, you need to be in bed!”

 

Carmilla saw the concern in Laura’s face and relaxed. “Look, Cinnabon. Laura is a terrible liar. And if she got caught with Red in her room after something happened she would look _way_ more guilty.”

 

Ell took a deep breath. “I...you are right.”

 

“Ready?”

 

“Ready.”

 

Carmilla smiled up at Laura and yelled, “cupcake-- _Laura_.  This is for you.  Hit it Ell.”

 

_“It’s a little bit funny… this feeling inside…”_

 

Ell closed her eyes. There was no Laura. There was no Danny. There was no awkward relationships and completely messed up social life. It was just her, and Elton John, and her piano, the only thing that she still had after all of this that she was closer with than ever.

 

_“...I’m not one of those who can easily hide. I don’t have much money...but if I did...I’d buy a big house where we both could live.”_

 

She risked opening her eyes, looking up at the window. Laura was leaning so far out she was almost afraid she’d fall, staring at Carmilla with wide, disbelieving eyes. And of course she was. There was something different about the way Carmilla sang _to someone._ Maybe it was the way she was looking at Laura, or the tenderness in her voice that she never had singing a rock song to an audience.

 

_“I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do. My gift is my song and this one’s for you…”_

 

Ell let the last few notes ring out as she watched Laura’s face.  

 

_“...I hope you don’t mind, that I put down into words...how wonderful life is, when you’re in the world.”_

 

Laura was utterly _spellbound_.  Ell breathed a sigh of relief.  It was one thing to tell Carmilla it was all going to be okay.  But it was another to really see it.  Ell hadn’t ruined everything.  Her best friend was still going to get her happy ending.

 

And Danny. She was looking out the window too. Their eyes met for a moment and maybe she was amped up on all of the love between Carmilla and Laura, but she thought Danny knew that the song was meant for her, too.

 

Which she apparently didn’t like, because she slammed the window shut, making Laura stumble back.

 

“DANNY LAWRENCE WHAT THE HECK?”

 

Carmilla blinked, torn out of her gaze.  She turned to Ell, eyes pleading.

 

“Do you think Laura liked it?”

 

“Was this how I sounded when I talked about Danny?” Ell asked, dejected, “Because you are being so annoying. Of _course_ she did.”

 

There was more yelling at Danny, and then Laura opened the window again. “Carmilla!”

 

“Cupcake?” Carmilla looked back up, grinning.

 

“Are you going to come up here or what?”

 

“No--but _you_ can come over _here,”_ Carmilla answered, motioning with her head. Laura practically tripped running out of view.

 

Carmilla grinned, shoving her hands in her pockets as she waited for Laura to come downstairs.  She didn’t have to wait long.  There was a flurry of footsteps rushing down stairs before the front door banged open and Laura Hollis stood before them, in all her pajama-clad glory.

 

“Carmilla--”

 

She didn’t even get a chance to finish before Carmilla had Laura in her arms, kissing her, Laura sighing and wrapping her arms around her now still girlfriend’s waist.

 

“I missed you so much Carmilla--”

 

“Laura, I love you, I am so sorry--”

 

“Oh my God, I love _you.”_

 

Ell backed up, looking down at the ground awkwardly.

 

Carmilla was muttering against Laura’s lips between kisses, “you can help me with whatever you want I don’t _care_ just don’t break up with me again.”

 

Laura was nodding feverishly, pulling Carmilla’s lips back to her own.

 

Ell discretely edged over to pick up her shoe, pulling it on.  She eyed her piano.  Should she pack up and leave them to their own devices?

 

Just when she decided ‘yes’, Laura actually noticed Ell there. She stopped kissing Carmilla--who absolutely refused to stop kissing Laura--and looked at her.

 

“Hey, Ell,” Laura said, talking with Carmilla’s arms wrapped around her waist, kissing her temple, “Thanks for helping Carmilla.”

 

“No problem. Okay. _Huge_ problem. Literally the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever done. But I guess I’m happy for you guys anyway.”

 

Ell looked up at the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of Danny. Laura bit her lip.

 

“Ell...I was literally sick, I was so worried about Carm. I called Danny and she said she’d come over and keep me company since I couldn’t sleep. The only thing that happened was that I set a bag of popcorn on fire. I _swear.”_

 

“I believe you, babe,” Carmilla mumbled, resting her chin on Laura’s shoulder.

 

“Ell?”

 

She looked at Laura, shaking her head vigorously.

 

Yes, her first reaction was to be jealous. Insanely, rabidly jealous. Every atom of her body was screaming _LIAR LIAR LIAR._

 

But...if Ell wanted to begin to feel any better about herself, not feeding into the whole ‘Laura is better than me’ thing was a good start.

 

“I...believe you, Laura.”

 

Laura looked unconvinced and tried to take a step towards Ell.  Only to find that she was bound in place by Carmilla.  She nudged Carmilla with her shoulder.

 

“Carm,” she huffed a laugh, “Carm you can’t stay attached to me forever.  We have _school_.”

 

Carmilla mumbled something Ell couldn’t hear into Laura’s shoulder and wrapped her arms around her tighter.

 

“Okay, I will help,” Ell said, sighing, “I am really jealous. But it’s my problem. If you say nothing happened, then you are telling the truth. Which means I need to get over it. Okay?”

 

Laura nudged Carmilla forward, who grumbled but stepped with her until Laura was standing in front of Ell.  After a few more careful nudges, Carmilla sidled around so she was pressed into Laura’s back so Laura and Ell could talk unobstructed.

 

“No.  Ell.  It’s _our_ problem.  Not just yours.  We’re L squared, remember?  We do these things together.”

 

Ell shrugged her shoulders helplessly.  “I’m jealous.  There’s really nothing you can do about that?”

 

Laura bit her lip as she thought.  “...I could get Danny to confirm it?”

 

“I highly doubt Danny will care if I am jealous. Did she tell you what happened?”

 

Laura blinked.  “...No?”

 

Carmilla paused from where she was nuzzling Laura’s neck to look up.  “Oooh tell her.  This is juicy.”

 

“I...okay, to be clear, Danny accused me of cheating on her with Carmilla. And then when that didn’t stick she accused me of sleeping with Carmilla after getting her drunk. So I was understandably angry--”

 

“Spiiiill iiiit, Cinnabon.”

 

“IkindasortaslappedDannyintheface?”

 

Laura’s jaw dropped.  “You… you slapped Danny?”

 

Ell looked away.  “...maybe?”

 

Carmilla snickered.  

 

“I...okay wow,” Laura blinked hard trying to process this information, “okay.  As your best friend, she deserved it and she had that coming.  As Danny’s friend… ouch?”

 

“If it makes you feel any better,” Carmilla added, “Red seems like she’d like it a little rough, so this might not be as bad as you think--”

 

“ _Not_ the time for jokes, Carm!”

 

Ell sighed.  “No it’s okay.  I’m sure Danny’s done with me after that.  We might as well joke about it.”

 

“That’s not true. Couples have gotten back together after worse. I’m sure. Somewhere.”

 

Ell gave Laura a weak smile, “thanks for trying Laura.  But I think it’s over.”

 

Laura frowned, shaking her head. “Uh-uh.” She nodded to herself, slowly getting more riled up, “ _No._ No! That is not happening! You are _my_ best friend. We are going to find a way to get you back together with Danny, and then we can all double date and get married together like we always said we would--”

 

“Wait, Laura, I think I draw the line at a double wedding with my ex--”

 

“--Because my best friend deserves her happy ending too!” Laura finished.

 

“What are you going to do, Laur, force Danny to fall in love with me?”

 

“I’m Laura Hollis. Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” Laura answered.

 

Ell shook her head lightly and Laura narrowed her eyes.

 

“We’re going to get you and Danny back together.  Right Carm?”

 

“Whatever you say,” Carmilla purred, still very much wrapped around Laura.

 

Ell groaned good naturedly.  “God you two are gross.  I almost prefer both of you moping about missing rach other.”

 

Laura turned to glance at Carmilla, “aw Carm you were moping over me?”

 

There was a low grumble and then a vague, “ _shut up_.  You were moping over me too.”

 

Laura laughed and then refocused her attention on Ell, tapping her chin thoughtfully.  “Okay.  Step one…step one…step one is to clear the air.  You two need a blank slate.  And to do that, Danny needs to know the truth.”

 

“And knowing every detail of my relationship with Carmilla is going to make me more attractive?”

 

Laura winced.  “Maybe not _every_ detail.  But I feel like she has a very… half-formed picture of what happened?  So some clarification might be helpful.”

 

“...Wait. Did Danny talk about me when she was at your house last night?”

 

“She may have been staring at your silhouette in the window kind of longingly? She wouldn’t admit it though.”

 

Ell stared at Laura longer, trying to get all the pieces to fit together in her mind.  “...was Danny there when we were flashlighting each other last night?!”

 

“I didn’t tell her what we were saying, Ell, I swear!” Laura exclaimed in response.

 

“What did she think we were talking about?”

 

Laura coughed.  “...I may have told her I was chewing you out?”

 

“Oh.” Ell frowned. “Did she believe you?”

 

“I mean, I pretended to be angry. I think it might have worked? I shouted ‘ARE YOU KIDDING ME’ a lot. Although…” Laura winced, “I made up that you said some...things.”

 

“LAURA I HAVE DONE ENOUGH ON MY OWN TO RUIN MY CHANCES WITH DANNY WHAT DID YOU HAVE ME SAY I SWEAR I HAVE GOT NOTHING TO LOSE DO NOT TEST ME--”

 

 _“Hey,”_ Carmilla warned, tightening her grip on Laura, “My cupcake!”

 

Ell paused mid-rant to roll her eyes at Carmilla.  “ _Down_ Carmilla.  Relax.”

 

Carmilla grumbled, but backed down, nuzzling her face into Laura’s neck.  Laura squirmed away.  

 

“Carm!  Stop that, it tickles.”

 

Carmilla smirked and whispered something in Laura’s ear that caused her to go bright red.

 

“Are you kidding me.” Ell said flatly.  “Laura it’s kind of hard to have a serious discussion with you when your girlfriend is so clearly _distracting_ you.”

 

“Oh, you are one to talk,” Laura answered, “Ell, when you started dating Carmilla you literally did not stop blushing for a week. Literally. An entire week, you were an incoherent mess.”

 

“True,” Carmilla agreed.

 

“Not important! _What did you tell Danny I was saying.”_

 

“If I recall she was blushing about that shade of red,” Carmilla said to Laura, making her laugh. Ell threw her hands in the air.

 

“I give up. I will die alone with a bunch of cats. You can both visit me on your way to celebrate your anniversary in Bermuda!”

 

“Aw hey Ell… no.  We were just kidding.  Right Carm?” Laura not so subtly elbowed Carmilla who grunted her agreement.

 

Ell huffed.  “Seriously Laura what did you say?”

 

Laura looked a little embarrassed, “oh… nothing really… just…” she trailed off into a quiet mumble.

 

Ell put her hands on her hips.  “Laura I have zero idea what you’re saying.”

 

“I was really upset at the time okay?  I thought Carmilla was dying and I couldn’t think straight!” Laura said defensively.

 

“You’re never thinking straight Laura.  You’re gay.” Carmilla snickered into Laura’s hair.

 

“ _Not helping Carm_.”

 

“Laura Hollis I swear to God…”

 

“I may have mentioned that you told us not to tell Danny about you and Carmilla,” Laura squeaked out.

 

“YOU WHAT?” Ell shouted, slamming her fist on her keyboard, making an awful screeching noise which a stray cat responded to in the distance with a yowl. “So while I was apologizing and confessing my deepest insecurities, you were telling Danny ‘hey, Ell was an even _bigger_ idiot than you thought!’”

 

“No!” yelped Laura.  “I was too wrapped up in frantically sending you signals.  I didn’t tell her that _during_.  Just you know… after.  When I was _freaking out_ because you disappeared and wouldn’t respond.”

 

Ell rolled her eyes.  “Oh so because you did it _after_ somehow makes it better?”

 

“...Yes?”

 

“You are so cute when you are trying to talk your way out of things, babe,” Carmilla murmured.

 

“Okay. Okay.” Ell paced back and forth, “So this is a disaster. I can literally see no bright side to this. Oh my God. What is Danny going to say when she walks out. She’s up there. Did she get mad at you for going along with me?”

 

Laura looked sheepish, “she may have been too busy trying to calm me down?  I was a little hysterical.”

 

Carmilla was starting to sway Laura in place, back and forth, frowning slightly. “I am so sorry, Laura.”

 

“It’s okay. You’re alright now.” Laura turned her head to look at Carmilla, smiling softly.

 

“...I give up. I am going to get ready for school. You guys can make out or whatever.”

 

“I’ll see you--” Laura was interrupted by Carmilla taking Ell’s offer and kissing Laura.

 

Ell sighed, grabbing her keyboard.  Well.  Things with Danny were never going to be okay again.  But she had to look on the positive side: she never thought they would.  But at least she had her best friend back and her best friend was happy?  

 

It was a definite silver lining.  But Ell hadn’t realized how much she’d still been holding on to the fragile hope of getting back together with Danny.  Now… well Ell guessed she’d have to tough out the week.  And then spend the rest of forever avoiding Danny.  That wouldn’t be too hard, right?

 

She went back upstairs and, as she was getting dressed, saw through the window that Danny was gesturing animatedly toward Laura and Carmilla. Huh. Carmilla looked rather annoyed and Laura just looked tired.

 

She was probably telling Laura and Carmilla how romance was useless because Ell ruined her ability to believe in love or something.

 

Ell couldn’t deny that Danny could be kind of dramatic when she was in a bad mood. Was it bad she was hoping that Carmilla would get into a fight with her?

 

As if on cue, Carmilla said something that looked like it was snarky and Danny’s gesticulating picked up again.

 

Just as it seemed like Ell might get her wish, Laura stepped between them, seemingly trying to calm them both down.  Danny opened her mouth to say something, but Carmilla interrupted by pulling Laura into another long kiss which, really?  God, were they this bad when they first got together?

 

Danny shared her sentiment, turning away and grimacing.  The movement had her looking out the window right towards--Ell eeped and crouched down.  Danny… probably hadn’t seen her, right?

 

She was about to forget about the three of them when Ell heard shouting from all the way from her room.

 

“Carmilla? What the Hell are you _doing_ out here this early in the morning?”

 

There was talking Ell couldn’t hear, and then:

 

“YOU’RE GOING TO DATE ELL’S EX GIRLFRIEND _AGAIN?”_

 

Ell sighed, throwing on clothes and getting her backpack. School. Was she sitting at the lunch table today? On one hand, she and Laura were friends again. On the other...if Danny sat there and Ell walked in, it would be possibly the most awkward thing Ell had ever had to experience.  On the other _other_ hand, if she went to the practice room and Danny showed up again… Ell shuddered.

 

Which meant she would need to either suck it up and figure out where Danny was, or eat lunch in the bathroom again.

 

She should probably pack a lunch that didn’t need utensils.

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

 

Ell didn’t end up eating lunch in the bathroom, thanks to Laura knocking on every stall and shouting:

           

“Ell? Ell, I know you’re in here! You better come out right now and be my best friend again! Danny is eating outside.”

 

Ell came out of the last stall sheepishly.  “Was it that obvious?”

 

“Ell, I have been friends with you for ten years. I know what you do when you’re having one of your freak outs.”

 

“...can you pretend for my sake it’s not ‘hide in a bathroom stall?’”

 

“Okay. How about…’smoking’? ‘Drinking’? ‘One night stands’...” Laura smiled teasingly, “With drummers?”

 

“ _Too soon,_ Laura,” Ell said, hitting her lightly on the arm. Laura’s smile grew.

 

“Well, you being mad is better than moping, right?”

 

Ell gave her a weak smile, “I guess?”

 

Laura grinned.  “Come on.  The lunch table misses you.  The bathroom won’t.  Let’s go.”

 

Her smile became a little stronger as she grabbed her lunch and followed her out.

 

*

 

“CALLED IT! Pay up Perr.”

 

LaFontaine held out their hand and Perry handed them a dollar.

 

Ell looked like she wanted to murder Laura. Because she did.

 

“You. Told. _THEM.”_

 

“...I was in a very desperate situation, Ell! I had no one else to talk to!”

 

“So you told them about my love life?”

 

“Hey, we’re your friends too,” LaFontaine answered, “And you know, I’m glad you’re back. Perry refused to pay up until _you_ confirmed that you were dating Danny.”

 

“I wanted to be thorough!” Perry answered to Ell’s glare, “But I do think you should talk to someone, dear. This isn’t healthy.”

 

Ell grumbled, “great.  I just wanted to eat my lunch in peace.”

 

“Okay, okay, “ Laura said, shooting Laf and Perry meaningful stares.  “Lay off of her, alright?  She’s had a rough time of it.”

 

“If I may interject,” JP said, raising his hand politely, “Communication solves a lot of problems. Perry has said that often enough.”

 

“Someone give JP an award,” Ell muttered, shoving her sandwich in her mouth in one gigantic bite. Which was probably a bad idea when it was peanut butter and marshmallow fluff. Ell spent the next fifteen minutes unable to speak.

 

Laura coughed politely and thankfully switched the topic to their upcoming exams.  It was a sad state of affairs when Ell realized that her exams were less anxiety-inducing than her love life.  She was a junior.  Her grades were supposed to be the most important part of her year.  ...what a joke.

 

Especially since she was totally going to fail, considering she’d spent the majority of the last few months either pining over Danny, thinking about how awesome dating Danny was, or now moping over Danny. At least Danny was a senior. Ell could have another shot at a good junior year when she totally flunked and had to repeat it.

 

“Ell?”

 

Ell’s head snapped towards Laura, who’d been repeating it.

 

“I was just saying, do you want to study before band practice?  We’ve been kind of preoccupied lately… and Perr, Laf, and JP offered to help.”

 

“Oh. Sure. Study away. We will all totally have some studying. It’ll be crazy.”

 

She went back to trying to get peanut butter off the roof of her mouth, looking down at the table.

 

“Great!” Laura clapped her hands together, “so we’ll all meet in the library after school.  It’ll be great.  Just like old times.”

 

Ell mumbled her agreement, but she couldn’t help but disagree internally.  It wasn’t like old times.  Too much had happened.  And she could feel the waves of pity that the others--Perry in particular--were sending her way.

 

“Heeey, guys,” LaFontaine said, “Want to hear about the lab JP and I did yesterday? We made something explode!”

 

“That is not something to be proud of !” Perry exclaimed, blissfully taking the attention away from Ell in favor of them arguing.

 

Ell breathed a sigh of relief.  At least the interrogation was over for now.

 

*

 

_The-other-L:_ hey are we still on for practice 2nite?

 

_Annoying-ex:_ Of course babe.

 

_Danny <3_: I guess  =\

 

Ell winced just looking at the little heart next to Danny’s name.  She should probably change that…

 

_Ell_ : I’ll be there.  Danny do you have to take care of Aiden and Jill first?

 

_The-one-that-got-away_ : Was that the wind making noises just now?

 

_Ell_ : Really?  You’re going to be that petty?

 

_The-one-that-got-away_ : Sorry.  Can’t hear the wind.

 

Ell wanted to scream.

 

*

 

The group study session was surprisingly normal.  When Ell had walked through the library doors, she’d been bracing herself for the worst.  But it had been okay.  Well… except for the fact that she felt like she was going to fail every subject.  But Laura seemed equally frustrated and confused so at least there was solidarity in numbers.

 

“Okay guys, I have to go,” LaFontaine said.

 

“No, Laf, stay longer--” Ell pleaded.

 

“Ell, we all need to go, you need to head to practice anyway, don’t you?”

 

“That’s _why_ you all need to stay!”

 

They all turned to look at her and Ell shrank.

 

Laura pulled away, hand reaching out as if confronting a skittish animal.

 

“Hey.  Ell.  It’ll be okay.  You know that, right?”

 

She puffed out her chest as if all 5’2” of her was particularly imposing.

 

“And if Lawrence messes with my best friend, I’ll make her cry!”

 

Ell couldn’t help it.  She giggled.

 

“Laura, what are you? Five? Remember the last time you tried to fight a bully for me? It didn’t exactly go well.”

 

“Yeah, well, they still got in trouble for trying to stuff me in that locker.”

 

Ell laughed lightly.  “Yes.  My hero.”

 

Laura gave her a mock salute and Ell grinned.  She really was glad to have her best friend back.  With Laura, she felt like facing Danny wasn’t impossible.  It almost seemed bearable.

 

Ell and Laura waved their friends off before starting down the familiar road to Laura’s house, Laura chattering lightly in her ear.  

 

Carmilla was already inside, absent-mindedly plucking the strings of Bagheera while Danny sat at the drum kit, ignoring her.

 

“Carm!” Laura exclaimed, walking faster. Ell let Laura walk away from her. Carmilla got up, smiling warmly, putting her guitar down and opening her arms.

 

“Cupcake, hey.”

 

Laura hugged Carmilla close. Danny looked away pointedly.

 

Carmilla looked better. She had washed, her hair was clean, she had even let Laura lend her some clothes. For the first time in months she looked genuinely healthy and happy.

 

“Hey, Carmilla,” Ell said warily. Carmilla looked at her and smiled.

 

“What’s up, Ell?”

  
Ell almost gasped. “Um... _Ell?_ Not Cinnamon Roll? Or Cinnabon? Is the world ending?”

 

“Eh, the nicknames were boring me,” Carmilla answered, shrugging, “I’ll think of a new one eventually…”

 

She looked at Danny, “I think ‘heartbreaker’ might be a contender though, eh, Red?”

 

“Shut up,” Danny mumbled, still not looking at any of them.

 

“Carmilla is living with me now,” Laura said, grinning, kissing Carmilla on the temple, “I mean, my dad made lots of vague threats, but she’s allowed to stay on our couch until she gets ‘on her feet.’”

 

“Wow, seriously?”

 

“Mr. H couldn’t say no to taking a homeless kid off the street,” Carmilla answered, “Which means...guys, if we win,” Carmilla looked between all of them, “I want to split the money. Five thousand for each of us.”

 

This time Ell and Danny shouted ‘WHAT’ in unison, looking at each other for a split second before tearing their gazes away.

 

“Five thousand,” Danny said softly, “I could...my family can really use that money.”

 

“Well, I figured you wouldn’t want to stay in the band otherwise,” Carmilla answered, “Considering the whole charitable cause thing is out since I’m not exactly ‘on the streets’ anymore.”

 

Danny was still looking at Carmilla.  “Careful Elvira.  Keep doing things like this and I’ll start believing you’re not an asshole at heart.”

 

Carmilla scowled a little at her.  “Well now we obviously want to win for pride.  We deserve to win that goddamn prize.”

 

Laura gave Carmilla a kiss which Carmilla immediately melted into.  When she pulled away, a hand came up to caress Carmilla’s jaw.  “I’m so proud of you Carm.”

 

“Can you not,” Ell and Danny said at the same time; they looked at each other again, Danny looking positively pissed off. Ell looked down at the ground.  Danny shoved her hands into her pockets, shoulders rising defensively.

 

“Alright can we just practice?  I’m not losing out on five thousand because you two are too horny to pay attention.”

 

Carmilla smirked, “now, now Xena.  Don’t be angry just because you’re not getting any…”

 

“Especially when you have offers,” Ell mumbled to herself. Carmilla heard her and looked at Ell, with an expression that said ‘I’m impressed’.

 

“I’m counting us off,” Danny announced, “Feel free to play if you want.”

 

Without fanfare they immediately launched into the song.  

 

Unfortunately, if Danny had hoped to curb Carmilla and Laura’s affection by playing, she was sorely mistaken.  

 

Carmilla almost immediately turned to begin singing the song straight at Laura whose face would probably melt off if it got any dopier.

 

“Carmilla, are you really going to serenade your girlfriend with a breakup song?” Ell said, talking as she played, “You cannot do that during the competition!”

 

“You’re just jealous,” Carmilla answered, as she smoothly launched into her guitar solo. Ell joined in on the piano.

 

“I’m not _jealous_ , but we’re not going to win if you two keep making eyes at each other during the performance!”

 

Carmilla shrugged, “if it makes you feel better, we can find someone for you too.  Maybe if you actually get laid, you’ll be less jealous.”

 

A loud _CLANG_ startled them all out of playing.

 

“What the--”

 

Danny sat, still gripping one half of a drumstick that appeared to be broken off, face twisted in irritation.

 

“Jesus christ Clifford,” Carmilla muttered.

 

“...Maybe we should take five?” Laura suggested weakly.

 

“Fine,” Danny muttered; she’d brought her backpack this time, and she pulled out a book before sitting over in the corner with it, facing the wall.

 

“Wow, Danny seems-- _aaaand_ you are both making out. Of course.”

 

“Huh? Ell, did you need something?”

 

Carmilla kept kissing Laura’s neck whenever Laura’s lips were unavailable. If Laura wasn’t covered in hickeys tomorrow Ell would be shocked.

 

“What am I supposed to do now? You guys are obviously busy, and Danny…”

 

“You know, you can’t put operation get back together with Danny in action if you don’t at least _try_ talking to her,” Laura pointed out.

 

“Yeah. Talk to the woman I slapped that just snapped a drumstick from pure rage. _Smart.”_

 

“Look at it this way,” Carmilla added, “If you can talk to Red now, you’ll never have any reason to be afraid of talking to a woman again.”

 

“I can’t--I mean-- _wow_ she is reading Little Women,” Ell looked at Danny wistfully. “Does the universe need to keep showing me Danny doing super attractive things? Does it hate me that much?”

 

“...Little Women gets you hot,” Carmilla deadpanned.

 

“It is like my favorite childhood book and literally everyone I’ve talked to thinks it’s lame.”

 

“It _was_ kind of preachy…”

 

“SHUT UP CARMILLA.”

 

Ell rolled up her sleeves, taking a deep breath. Danny couldn’t beat her up in front of them. And they were right. The worst that could happen was Danny repeating incredibly hurtful things. But she must have run out of _new_ insults by now.

 

She inched closer to Danny. “Um...hi?”

 

Danny didn’t answer.

 

“Danny…?”

  
Ell might have found the only thing worse than being yelled at by Danny: being completely ignored by her. Danny made a show of licking her fingers to turn the page of her book.

 

She looked at Carmilla and Laura pleadingly. Laura opened and closed her hand like a puppet, Carmilla nodding in agreement.

 

Well. If Danny wasn’t going to speak, Ell would.

 

“So. Yeah. I love Little Women. That never came up, did it…?”

 

She sat down next to Danny. “Carmilla and Laura are really disgusting. Come on.”

 

Ell was getting rather desperate; she started jokingly humming ‘breakfast at Tiffany’s’. “You say we have nothing in common, no common ground to start on…but come on. You have to admit we both think Carm and Laura should totally get a room.”

 

A crease appeared in the middle of Danny’s forehead. Wow. Danny was being oh so mature right now.

 

(Says the woman who slapped her in the face…)

 

“Danny, you are going to talk to me eventually, I am not giving up that easily.”

 

Ell’s jaw clenched and she got up, grabbing the unbroken drumstick and sitting down at Danny’s drum kit.

 

“Cinnabon, what the fuck are you doing?” Carmilla asked.

 

“I’m playing a song titled ‘Danny you are going to talk to me now’. ONE TWO THREE--”

 

It was the single most unpleasant sound Ell ever made. Laura and Carmilla clutched their ears in pain.

 

Danny’s grip on the book tightened and her jaw clenched.  She closed her eyes for a moment, breathing deeply.  She got up, snatching the drumstick away from Ell, eyes still closed. When she opened them, she was still looking resolutely away from Ell.

 

“Why do I find you so difficult to stay away from?” She was speaking softly, as if to herself and not to Ell, “after everything, some really stupid part of me still wants to forgive you.”

 

Laura covered her mouth; she looked like she was watching a soap opera.

 

“Do it, then,” Ell answered, “If you want to. Danny, I swear, I will do whatever I can to prove to you that I...okay, maybe I don’t deserve it. But I’ll try. I’ll keep trying. And...and Danny, how Carmilla and Laura feel about each other is nothing compared to how much I like you.”

 

Ell had her hands clasped together. Yeah. She was honest-to-God begging. But in all fairness, Danny was wearing a snapback. Who wouldn’t beg if there was a chance of getting to be with Danny in a snapback?

 

Laura let out a little squeal and a muffled, “they’re so cute!”

 

There was a quiet huff from Carmilla and a “really Laura?  She just insinuated that they would be cuter than us.”

 

Ell ignored them.  “Danny.   _Please_.  Tell me what I can do to make this right.”

 

Danny let out a long exhale before admitting, “I don’t know.”

 

Ell felt her face fall.  “Oh.  Okay I’ll just--”

 

“I don’t know _yet_ ,” Danny interrupted.

 

“If you even want to forgive me?”

 

“I am really stubborn, Ell.”

 

“Oh.”  

 

“ _Really_ stubborn Ell.”

 

Ell bit her lip.  “Is there anything I can do to help?”

 

Danny grimaced.  “I--I don’t know.  Time?  Can you give me that?”

 

Ell eyes widened.  “T-time.  Sure!  I can--I can do that?”  She took a breath.  “Um… there’s no chance you know how _much_ time, right?”

 

“Well...when I say time...I mean time _away._ From you. So definitely not until after the competition.”

 

Ell felt her heart sink at the declaration, but forced a smile.  “Oh.  Sure.  Great.”

 

Danny didn’t want to see her until after the competition.  But after the competition… why would Danny see her at all?  They wouldn’t have band practice anymore and the school year was almost over.  Ell swallowed the bile that rose in her throat.  Danny was just letting her down easy. Which was more than Ell deserved, honestly.

 

“Let’s get back to practicing, guys,” Danny said, getting up and walking past Ell.

 

“Not fair,” Carmilla grumbled, “I lost some valuable kissing time with Laura because of Ell and her little failed attempt at a love connection.”

 

Laura elbowed Carmilla in the ribs, shooting Ell an apologetic glance.

 

Ell wanted no part in it.  Bad enough that Danny had no intention of taking her back.  Worse still that Laura and Carmilla had to witness it.  Ell prayed for the earth to open and swallow her whole.

 

She got Danny counting them off into another round of the song instead.

  
  
  



	19. Chapter 19

 

 

“It’s just like a piano recital,” Ell said to herself, “I am performing in front of people. Just like a recital. Just like a recital. Just like a recital…”

 

Except the people watching usually did not have quite so many tattoos.

 

Or piercings.

 

And Ell had never been at a recital where everything smelled like cigarette smoke.

 

She looked over at Carmilla decked out in all black with chains.  And Danny in her snapback.  Even Laura in her flannel looked less out of place.  But Ell felt like a fish out of water. It was true, she had the color palette that matched them, but she was terrified as she walked past all of the loud noises, rockers, and equipment.

 

“Do you see that guy’s drums?” Danny asked, eyeing a kit, “Those are _really_ nice drums. Um, Carmilla, are you sure your friend--”

 

“Believe me, Kirsch isn’t going to ruin the drum kit. He’s an idiot but I made it _very_ clear that he will be missing two friends very near and dear to him should he so much as scratch--”

 

_CRASH_

 

“Sorry dudes, it’s all good!”

 

Carmilla turned, eye twitching.  “I swear to god _Wilson_ , if there is a single scratch on those drums I will personally eviscerate you.”

 

“Brooo,” came the whine, “don’t call me Wilson!”

 

“Fine. Shall I use your middle name--”

 

“Come on Carmilla!”

 

“-- _Brody.”_

 

“ _Seriously._ Fine. I will be more careful, bro. But only ‘cause these drums are for a hottie.” Kirsch grinned at Danny, who frowned.

 

“A very gay hottie,” Danny answered, looking up at her HELLA GAY snapback. Seriously, did Danny have a whole line of HELLA GAY clothing?

 

Kirsch smiled, undeterred, “doesn’t need to stop a bro from appreciating a rad lady.”

 

Danny began ranting at Krisch, but Ell frowned.  It was true.  Danny was exceptionally attractive.  If a guy could appreciate how she looked when it was clear she wasn’t interested, how could any girl resist her?  Danny may not be looking yet, but it was only a matter of time.

 

Laura nudged Ell affectionately, seeing that she was uncomfortable. Ell forced herself to smile.

 

“Okay guys, we wait backstage. We’re the last act since it took us so long to put a name in, so yeah, if we do well we’ll be the one they remember. If we don’t, we have no hope of winning, which we wouldn’t have anyway. So don’t suck.”

 

“Wow, thanks Carmilla.”

 

Carmilla grunted.

 

Laura coughed, “as great as that pep talk was, guys,” she rubbed her hands together, “we have been working on this for _months_.  We have the perfect song.  We have the perfect band.  We can absolutely _win this thing_.  All hands in!”

 

Carmilla groaned, “Laura I’m not going to--”

 

Laura silenced her with a look and Carmilla reluctantly put a hand in.

 

“Slayer Society on three!  One, two, three!”

 

_“SLAYER SOCIETY!”_

 

“...What now?” Danny asked.

 

“We try and keep the energy while we wait for twenty or so acts,” Carmilla answered.

 

“And look,” Ell said, looking at the list, “The first act is called ‘Anglerfish’. That is literally the stupidest name ever.”

 

Ell was less sure of their stupidity moments later when they had the crowd eating out of the palm of their tattoo-infested hands.  It was all incredibly loud, but undeniably… sort of catchy?

 

When the crowd roared as they finished, she flinched.  Danny looked tense and Carmilla looked more than a little apprehensive at their reception.  How were they to top that?  Even Laura’s smile had diminished a little in wattage.

 

“Okay, they’re the first act,” Carmilla said, “They were good but the judges won’t remember them. We’ll be _fine.”_

 

Danny let out a huge breath of air, “you know we’re screwed when we have the Ungrateful Undead over here trying to cheer us up.”

 

“Shut up Red Oak, I’m just keeping the balance since all you’ve been doing is moping over your little thing with Cinnabon over here.”

 

“ _I’m not_ \--” Danny lowered her voice when she noticed other groups starting to stare at them, “I’m not moping Broody McBrooderson.”

 

Carmilla snickered.  “Oh yeah.  Real great nickname there Empire State.”

 

“Danny you are not going to win this battle,” Ell muttered, “Carmilla is kind of the master of these things.”

 

She glared at Ell and Ell mumbled ‘sorry’. Carmilla grinned.

 

“Yeah. It’s well known that I am the nickname master, Red Ranger.”

 

“Oh _please.”_

 

Laura edged away so she was standing next to Ell. “You ready Ell?”

 

“Yes. No. I’m fine. Terrified. But fine.”

 

“Like, ‘public speaking’ terrified or ‘talking to Danny for the first time’ terrified?”

 

Ell looked at Laura for a moment before finally saying, “Talking to Danny. Definitely.”

 

Carmilla raised an eyebrow.  “Are we supposed to understand what you two are saying?”

 

Laura waved her hand at Carmilla dismissively, “Carm it’s not like you ever understood our language.  You didn’t understand it when you were dating Ell, and it’s not like anything changed.”

 

Danny huffed.  “It’s not even like I’m scary.”

 

“I know you’re convinced you don’t know me, Danny,” Ell said, “But come on. You’re literally the hottest human being I have ever met. Of _course_ I’m going to be terrified.”

 

Carmilla and Laura both made a noise of disagreement and Ell threw a glare at them.

 

“Flattery will get you nowhere Ell,” Danny said, but her voice was devoid of animosity, which made Ell happy.

 

“Ell is only saying that because we never slept together,” Carmilla grumbled. She sidled up next to Laura with a smirk. “ _Right,_ babe?”

 

“Carm--” Laura warned.

 

“As if we didn’t know you both were, guys,” Danny said, rolling her eyes.

 

Ell scoffed.  “What does that have to do with anything?  I have _eyes_.  Danny is just hotter.”

 

Carmilla raised an eyebrow before reaching for the hem of her shirt.

 

“ _Carm!_ ” Laura hissed.

 

“What?” Carmilla asked, “I’m not going to _sleep_ with her.  She just needs to have all the facts to get over her objectively wrong opinion.”

 

Danny made a noise of exasperation before throwing a quick, “I need some water” over her shoulder and shuffling off.

 

“Great,” Ell huffed, “Now she’s probably going to never come back, you know that, right?”

 

“And miss out on five thousand bucks? I highly doubt it.”

 

Ell glared at Carmilla who stared back, unmoved.  Laura stepped between them.

 

“Oooh-kay.  Ell maybe you should go look for Danny!  She might have gotten lost!”  Laura’s eyes were bright with mischief and Ell rolled her eyes.

 

“Laura I know what you’re trying to do, but I really don’t think--”  Ell sighed when she looked back up, “...and you’re making out with Carmilla.  Again.  Perfect.”

 

Carmilla waved Ell away without stopping and Ell turned to go find Danny. There was a bucket of ice with water bottles in it for the performers, and Danny had poured one bottle over her head and was drinking the other.

 

Her wet hair clung to her chest and water dripped down her face as Danny shook her head vigorously. Danny wet. And dripping. What was Ell going to talk to her about again? She could only stand gaping until Danny looked in Ell’s direction; she literally had to grab her jaw and push it closed. Smooth, Ell. Smooth.

 

“Um...you alright, Danny?” Ell asked.

 

Danny gave her a tired glance.  “What do you want Ell?”

 

“I…” Ell couldn’t even look her in the eye.  And she _definitely_ couldn’t look anywhere else.  Not with the rivulets of water still trailing Danny’s glistening skin… Ell stared at the floor.  “I just came to see if you were okay.”

 

“Fine,” Danny said tersely.  “And you promised to not talk to me until after the competition.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

She walked away from Danny. So it was either stay and not speak to Danny, or hang out with Laura and Carmilla. Who were still making out. Ell settled for sitting in between the two on the floor.  She tucked her head in her hands.  Well.  This sucked.  After the competition was over, she was heading straight to the grocery store to pick up a pint of ice cream and she was going to mourn the death of the best thing that ever happened to her.

 

“Next up Zeta Omega Mu!  Slayer Society you’re on deck!”

 

Ell’s head snapped up at the sound of a production assistant calling out their band name.  Crap.  It was almost time.

 

“Okay girls, _huddle.”_

 

Carmilla looked so serious that even Danny looked up and walked over. Ell wedged between Laura and Carmilla to avoid having Danny put her arm around her.

 

“Guys,” Carmilla said, “The amount of drama we have been through the past three months could fill about fifty years worth of soap operas. We _earned_ this win. And sure, a lot of these bands are bigger and have been playing longer. Sure they have been working with better equipment and have experience playing in front of an audience--”

 

“Uh, Carmilla--”

 

“ _But,_ Ell,” Carmilla said pointedly, “We have one thing the rest of these idiots don’t.”

 

“What?” Danny asked.

 

Carmilla’s eyes narrowed. “We are the only all girl band here,” Carmilla said, “the judges are all men. And we can hate each other, but we are all _pretty fucking hot.”_

 

Ell’s jaw dropped open.  “Really?   _That’s_ the one thing we have?  Not that we worked really hard and came up with the perfect song and poured our heart and soul into this music?  The fact that we’re hot?”

 

Carmilla smirked.  “You got it Cinnabon.  And I, for one, intend to _work it_ on stage.  You all should follow my example.”

 

“But...I cannot _work_ anything Carmilla!” Ell exclaimed, starting to panic, “You _know_ I can’t!”

 

Carmilla looked at Danny. “Red. Tell Ell she’s hot.”

 

“Why _me?”_

 

“She won’t care if it comes from either of us.”

 

Danny scrubbed a hand down her face.  “ _Fine_.  I obviously found you physically attractive Ell.  That is at least one thing you didn’t lie about.”

 

“Wow, Carmilla,” Ell said dryly, “Hearing it from Danny has really made me more confident in myself.”

 

Carmilla threw Danny a glare, her tone becoming condescending, as if speaking to a small child.  “Try again skyscraper.  And try to _mean it_ this time.”

 

Danny glared back, but Carmilla did not budge.  Finally, Danny threw her hands up.

 

“Fine.  Ell you’re really hot.  I noticed you before you even worked up the courage to come talk to me in the practice room because you’re bangin’ and I was kind of debating what the likelihood was that you were gay.  Okay?  Is everyone happy now?”

 

Ell stared open-mouthed at Danny, a blush spreading over her features.  Laura was grinning like Christmas had come early.  And Carmilla was smirking that damned smirk again.

 

“Well...the feeling is mutual,” Ell mumbled, turning away. She took a deep breath. “Okay. Okay I think I am ready to go on now.”

 

Carmilla snickered and leaned over to whisper in Laura’s ear, “see?  Worked, didn’t it?”

 

Ell pointedly ignored her...but she had a little bit of a point.  Hearing Danny say that was a major ego boost and made her feel like she could totally take on the stage.

 

“ALRIGHT! Time for our final act...SLAYER SOCIETY!”

 

“Oh my God no I was wrong IcannotdothisIcannotdothisIcannotdothis--”

 

“Shut the fuck up, Cinnabon,” Carmilla laughed, grabbing Ell by the wrist and pulling her onstage. She practically had to push Ell in front of the keyboard.

 

Ell stared wide eyed at the audience, praying she wouldn’t faint.

 

_Come on Ell. You can do this. You’re bangin’ remember?_

 

_WHO ARE YOU KIDDING RUN._

 

Ell gulped, suppressing her flight instinct. Carmilla sauntered up to the microphone.

 

“HELLO SILAS! We are _Slayer Society,_ and this song was written by me and our keyboardist, Ell Schraeder!”

 

Ell gave a quick wave of her hand, trying to smile without looking like she was going to throw up.

 

Carmilla smirked and let her voice drop even lower into sultry tones, until she was practically purring into her mic as she vamped a little on her guitar, “and do we have a treat for you.  Get ready Silas because we’re going to _rock your world_.”

 

She turned to nod at Danny, “hit it Big Red.”

 

Danny nodded determinedly, raising her sticks in the air. “ONE TWO THREE FOUR!”

 

Ell gritted her teeth and shut out everything, focusing on the song as the music started. She could feel the tension in her body, stiffening her, and she just _knew_ she was blowing it. Everyone else was playing perfectly and she was _blowing it._ Just like Carmilla had kept saying she would.

 

“ _Oh I got nothing, oh I got nothing left to give you_.”

 

Carmilla’s voice hovered out into the crowd, smooth and sultry, her hips swaying in time with the beat, clearly playing it up for their audience.

 

Ell’s throat closed up.  How was she supposed to do this?  The harsh stage lights felt oppressive; she could feel moisture dotting her face.  Her world shifted out of focus.

 

She couldn’t think. Or maybe she _could_ think? About the lyrics. Ell could not just play the notes--she had to _feel_ them. She had to understand what she was supposed to be saying--or, you know, playing. So why could she not do that with a song she helped write? Ell closed her eyes again and focused on the words pouring from Carmilla’s lips.

 

_“I’ve got the devil on my breath, and an angel on my back, telling me no but the words fall away for you, and that stupid smile, biting your lip while I swing my hips…”_

 

Her and Carmilla. Knowing from the start that something about her seemed rather rebellious. Not listening to Laura when she said that Carmilla would only end up getting Ell into trouble.

 

“ _But I got nothing, I got nothing else to give you…_ ”

 

It was true.  She and Carmilla had torn each other apart.  She had wanted Carmilla to be more open.  And when she finally got the truth, it had destroyed everything.  There was nothing left to be salvaged.

 

“ _The sun is starting to rise, and we’re on the kitchen floor, empties everywhere, I lose my mind for you and that stupid smile…”_

 

Ell closed her eyes and let herself sink into memories for a moment.  She had been so focused on how much resentment she felt towards Carmilla and the way their relationship ended that she’d never really spent time to remember that there really was something good there.  Somewhere between Carmilla’s hazy smile and the way she had of looking deep into Ell’s eyes and making her feel like she was Carmilla’s whole world… well.  There had been a reason that they’d been together for a whole year.

 

Ell breathed in and then let herself slowly exhale.  She’d spent so long holding onto that anger.  Carmilla’s voice floated through, permeating her skull.

 

“ _So unforgiving, I make bad decisions for you.  But I got nothing…_ ”

 

That one was obvious. She felt so insecure about Carmilla’s lying that she had gone and ruined her life. But she guessed it also worked with Danny too. She had made some pretty stupid decisions because she was afraid of losing her. She had lied because she was afraid she wouldn’t be good enough for Danny if she knew the truth.

 

...Just like Carmilla had done to Ell.

 

“ _Cause I gave it all away and now there’s nothing.  Oh there’s nothing.  Yeah I threw it all away and now there’s nothing.  Oh there’s nothing…_ ”

 

She’d thought she’d given everything of herself there was to give.  She’d thrown herself into her relationship with Carmilla and let it define her.  And she’d all but done the same with Danny.  She’d made a mess of both relationships because she hadn’t been willing to trust them.  Not Carmilla with her family.  And not Danny with the truth.  

 

Ell felt herself relaxing, not because she felt better, but because she was letting all of that pain and anger she was feeling flow out of her fingertips and come out as music. As Carmilla kept singing Ell almost felt like she was doing okay. Carmilla launched into her solo, looking at Ell as she played her part.

 

 _“And you call me on the phone, and you say you wanna talk. You’re in too deep then you slip and you fall…”_   

 

Carmilla paused for breath, their last notes ringing out.  The room was so silent Ell was sure they could hear a pin drop.  And in that space of a heartbeat, Ell had a moment of perfect clarity.  Ell breathed again and the air felt new.  Lighter.  Her relationship with Carmilla was tied up in a painful ending.  But there had been good moments too.  And she finally felt at peace with it.  Her relationship with Carmilla just _was_.  It had run its course.  And that was okay too.

 

When Carmilla’s voice came hurtling back through the void, Ell threw herself into the notes with a new sense of purpose and vigor.  She let herself be swept up in the tidal wave of music and emotion, letting it all crash around her as she played.  This was cathartic, music rushing around her like an endless roiling ocean of sound.  

 

Ell felt something else welling up in her from deep inside.  She looked around at Carmilla screaming her lungs out, at Laura shredding on the bass, at Danny whaling on the drums.  And yes these three people were the people that made her love life the impossible mess that it was.  But all of them had helped put her back together again when she needed them most.  And being here?  Playing with them?  Ell kind of loved it.

 

She laughed internally.  So like her to make such an obvious revelation in the middle of their biggest performance, on their biggest stage.

 

“We are Slayer Society!” Carmilla shouted again, “I am Carmilla Karnstein on lead vocal and guitar!”

 

Carmilla let loose a guitar solo and shouted, “My girlfriend Laura Hollis on bass guitar!”

 

Laura grinned at Carmilla and bobbed her head as she played.

 

“The incomparable Danny ‘ _Big Red’_ Lawrence on drums!”

 

Danny looked like she was trying not to look annoyed before launching into a drum solo. The water from before was mixing with sweat from the harsh stage lights; it should have been totally gross. Ell was reminded of how gay for Danny she was.

 

“And last but not least. Ell _‘Cinnabon’_ Schraeder on keys!”

 

Ell winced just slightly at the nickname--not exactly helping her with her rocker vibe--but she closed her eyes, took everything she’d been thinking, and tried to turn it into a solo.

 

She opened her eyes to Carmilla’s grin.

 

“THANK YOU SILAS AND GOOD NIGHT!”

 

She raised her hands, beckoning the crowd to cheer--which they did. The roar of the audience was almost deafening.

 

Ell could feel the smile spreading across her face.  This was what they’d been working for months to achieve.  And the audience was responding.  It felt really, really good.

 

Almost without thinking, she turned to look at Danny who gave her a tentative smile in return.

 

It felt even better than if they won 20,000 dollars.

 

“WHOOO!” Laura shouted, running in a circle as soon as they walked backstage. “We _killed it!_ Danny, you were so--and Carm, you’re always amazing, but _wow_ \--and _Ell._ Since when did you rock so well?”

 

“I...I did?”

 

“You did good, Cinnabon,” Carmilla said, grinning as she snaked her arms around Laura’s waist. She pressed their foreheads together. “Soon as we win the money I’m taking you out tonight, babe. Wherever you want.”

 

“Fridays?”

 

“...I will have five thousand dollars and you choose _Fridays?”_

 

Laura pouted at her girlfriend.  “The Brownie Obsession gets its name for a reason!  I can’t help it; I’m obsessed!”

 

Carmilla was giving Laura an incredulous look, “not only do you pick a chain restaurant, but you pick one based solely on their _dessert_?”  Carmilla slapped a hand over her eyes.  “Who am I kidding.  Of course you did.”

 

“Laura almost never orders real food, Carmilla,” Ell pointed out, “It’s taken you three months to realize this?”

 

Carmilla huffed.  “I mean I _know_.  But I was hoping to sophisticate her palate at least a _little_.  Come on Laura.  We could go into the city and order expensive dessert that will practically melt on your tongue.  Are you sure you want to go to _Fridays_ after this?”

 

Laura continued to pout at her girlfriend.  “I _like_ Fridays.”

 

Carmilla threw her hands up.  “Fine.  We’ll go to Fridays!  Five thousand dollars, but we’ll go to the place best known for their endless appetizers!”

 

“WHOOO! Thousands of dollars worth of appetizers!” Laura exclaimed, raising her hands in the air.

 

“Not to dampen your spirits, guys, but this is assuming we win,” Danny pointed out, “We shouldn’t jinx it.”

 

“Oh, shut up Raging Red Giant,” Carmilla scoffed, “Let us have our moment.”

 

“What are you going to do if we win the money?” Laura asked.

 

Danny chewed on her lip.  “I dunno.  Our kitchen could probably use a paint job.  And I know Aidan desperately wants a new bike.”

 

Ell’s heart melted. Of course. The first thing Danny thought about was her family.

 

“You should buy something for yourself,” Ell blurted out, unable to stop herself, “You do everything for your family, Danny, it wouldn’t be wrong to do something you want, would it?”

 

Danny glared at Ell, all traces of humor gone, “yeah you would know all about doing whatever you want, wouldn’t you?  No matter who else gets hurt in the process.”

 

Ell backed up a little. She had no idea what it was about this remark, above all the others, that hurt her so much. It was different than the white hot anger that made her hit Danny before.

 

This wasn’t Ell snapping. It was her choosing to let go of the string.

 

“...You know what?” She took a deep breath, steeling herself. “I am tired of this, okay? I am. I’m not waiting.”

 

“And that is supposed to mean…?”

 

“I am not waiting to see if you want me back eventually,” Ell said, “I did that with Carmilla and it wasn’t worth it, and I’m not making the same mistake twice. I have apologized so many times, and you have crossed the line from angry to immature. I am not going to be pathetic and follow you around like a lovesick puppy. _I_ am saying I do not want to get back together with _you._ ”

 

Laura held her hands over her mouth; Carmilla mouthed ‘oh, _snap’._

 

Danny stared at Ell, wide eyed. “Like I care?”

 

She shrugged. “Maybe not. But it feels good to finally let myself not obsess over what you think anymore.”

 

Danny was looking at Ell with an unreadable expression.

 

Ell let out a breath and spun away from the rest of the group, packing up her equipment.  Her shoulders felt like a weight had been lifted.  She was Ell 2.0, the new and improved version.  And this Ell would and _could_ stand up for herself.

 

“ _Wow,_ Cinnabon,” Carmilla said, walking over, “Maybe I should start calling you _Sin_ abon.”

 

“Shut up,” Ell said, “Unless you’re going to help me pack.”

 

Carmilla shrugged and starting helping, to Ell’s surprise. “Just wanted to warn you that you and Danny are Laura’s own personal OTP,” Carmilla said, “She loves you like you’re Rose and the Tenth Doctor, so don’t be surprised if she still tries to get you two to talk.”

 

“I think I can handle Laura. I’ve kind of known her way longer than you, Carmilla.”

 

“Maybe, but I have certain strategies at my disposal you do not for calming her down,” Carmilla couldn’t help but smirk, “Or, you know, I guess it kind of is riling her up…”

 

“ _Ew.”_

 

Carmilla smirked and then arched a brow.  “So _you_ never answered the question.  What would you do with five thousand dollars?”

 

Ell thought about it. “...I honestly don’t know. Maybe buy a new piano? Or...or just put it away for college I guess.”

 

Carmilla snorted.  “ _Booo_ -ring.  Think a little Cinnabon.  Dig deep.  Find something _vaguely interesting_ to buy with your newfound wealth.”

 

“Says the woman who said the first thing she’s going to buy is dinner.”

 

“Um dinner for my _girlfriend_.  It’s different.  Romantic.  Chicks eat that shit up.”

 

“Did you really just call Laura a ‘chick’?”

 

“...It’s not sexist when it’s a woman, Ell.”

 

“Oh my God if Danny heard you--” Ell stopped. Carmilla smiled.

 

“So...you as ‘over’ Red as you claim to be?”

 

“...Yes” grumbled Ell.

 

Carmilla just raised an eyebrow and Ell rolled her eyes in retaliation.

 

“Ugh not completely obviously.  It doesn’t take a day to get over feelings.  But I’m getting there.  And I took the first big step.  So that’s something!”

 

“You should have _seen_ the look on her face when you walked away though,” Carmilla mused, “You know, I think you just might have made her rethink some things…”

 

“Wait, wait what?” Ell stammered out, blushing when she realized she sounded too interested. “Um...I am not sure what you mean.”

 

Carmilla crossed her arms and said casually, “You know, if someone is always waiting you take them for granted. If they’re suddenly _unavailable..._ you know Ell, I am proud of you. You finally learned how to play hard to get.”

 

Ell spluttered, “but I wasn’t trying to play hard to get!  I was turning over a new leaf!”

 

Carmilla smirked at her.  “Well even if that’s true, the effect is still the same.”

 

“It...it doesn’t matter,” Ell answered, “If she just apologizes as some knee jerk reaction without really meaning it, I am not going to date her again. And--” Ell paused for a moment. “...Why do you even care?”

 

“What can I say? Laura does. And...you know. What you did for me and Laura. I want you to be as happy as we are, Ell.”

 

Ell stared at Carmilla. “Wow. Thank you.”

 

“And if you tell anyone I am being this sincere I will end you.”

 

“...Good. For a second I thought I was dreaming.”

 

“Besides, when Laura’s happy then I am _very_ happy--”

 

“Aw that’s actually really sweet.”

 

“--because she lets me--”

 

“WOAH.  Okay back up Carmilla.  I know a _lot_ about Laura, but there are some things I just don’t want to know.”

 

“--pick what movies we watch.  Honestly Ell,” Carmilla’s smirk was so shit-eating Ell wasn’t quite sure how she survived the force of it, “what did you _think_ I was going to say?”

 

“...I hate you. So much.”

 

Carmilla winked. “Bad girls, Ell. We do alright--”

 

“Um, guys?” Laura came up behind Carmilla. “I hate to interrupt because it’s totally awesome you seem like you’re talking without wanting to murder each other which is rare, but I think they’re about to announce the winners.”

 

Carmilla swung an arm around Laura, glancing back at Ell.  “Coming Cinnabon?”

 

Ell sighed, but dutifully followed her friends.  Danny joined them on the walk over as they gathered with the rest of the bands to await the results.

 

Ell eyed them.  There had been a lot of good bands out there tonight.  But maybe… just maybe… they’d been a little better?

 

The judges stood on stage, holding a microphone in hand. Ell, Laura, and Carmilla stood together. Danny, tall as she was, could stand and put her arms around all of them.

 

“Now is the time you’ve all been waiting for… in third place, we have ZETA OMEGA MUUUU!”

 

Ell jumped as what seemed like a swarm of enormous football players stampeded past them to get to the stage.

 

“DUDE! We are so honored bros! Thanks! WHOOO! PIZZA OR DEATH! PIZZA OR DEATH! PIZZA OR DEATH!”

 

They continued their chant as they grabbed the trophy, their check for five thousand dollars, and ran off.

 

“In second place…ANGLERFISH!”

 

Carmilla let out a breath. “Oh thank god.”

 

Ell speared her with a look, “what?  Why would you say that?  We might not have gotten anything!”

 

Carmilla shrugged (or at least shrugged as best she could in their hugging circle), “Anglerfish was the only other band that got anywhere near our popular response.  Judges pay attention to that shit.”

 

Laura clasped her hands together. “Oh my God, I _know_ I am like, super gay and everything but God, _please_ let us be first place.”

 

“Who gives a shit about God?” Carmilla asked, “We are going to win because we were the best.”

 

“Hate agreeing with Carmilla, but yes,” Danny added, “Good luck to all of us guys.”

 

Anglerfish was finishing up on stage.  The lights dimmed as the announcer walked to the center again.

 

“In my hands, I have the answer you have all been waiting for.”  He tugged on his collar teasingly, “let’s hope I don’t mess up.”

 

He threw a wink to the crowd and Carmilla rolled her eyes.  “God he needs to just get _on with it_.”

 

On stage, the announcer was grinning.  “Okay.  we’ve had a lot of great acts tonight.  But there can be only ONE winner.  Can I get a drumroll please??”

 

The sounds of drums echoed from somewhere within the auditorium.  Every passing moment seemed like an eon.

 

The announcer took a deep breath, flipping open the envelope.

 

He looked down at it, then looked up, smiling. Ell had to agree with Carmilla--could he just _announce it_ already?

 

“Well, folks, your winner is SLAYER SOCIETY!”

 

Confetti rained down from the ceiling to pour all over the four of them. Laura grabbed Carmilla’s face in her hands and kissed her; Danny even hugged Ell before she realized what she was doing, turning away and clearing her throat.

 

“OH MY GOD, WE WON!” Carmilla exclaimed.

 

“I thought you knew we’d win?” Ell answered.

 

“Doesn’t mean I can’t be happy about it Cinnabon! COME ON! They’re calling us over!”

 

Ell felt like she was only able to move forward because she was following the tide of her friends. The announcer took the giant check, holding it out to Carmilla, who flashed a huge smile at a camera. Ell was sure she looked like a deer in headlights. She didn’t really care.

 

“Congratulations, ladies? Any of you have anything you want to say?”

 

Carmilla grabbed the microphone and looked like she was about to say something when Danny tapped her on the shoulder. The microphone was covered and Danny and Carmilla talked in whispers.

 

“...Our drummer wants to say something,” Carmilla said, “Take it away, Danny.”

 

Danny smiled, grabbing the microphone. “Thanks, Carmilla. Man, we are _way_ too polite for a rock band.”

 

There was a smattering of laughter.

 

“I’d just like to say,” Danny said, “That we are honored to win. Because this took hard work. When...when I first joined Slayer Society a few months ago, I didn’t realize how much it would change my life. It wasn’t always fun. Sometimes...you know, there were times when I thought the band was the worst thing to happen to me.”

 

Danny was looking at Ell out of the corner of her eye. Ell swallowed.  The room felt warmer.

 

“But sometimes,” Danny continued, “sometimes you find that magical connection.  The music clicks.  The timing is just right.  And even though it’s hard, you know you would never regret it.  Because you know that something special is happening.”

 

Ell could feel a blush creeping up her cheeks.

 

“The band might be over,” Danny finished, “And I know I’m going to regret it if I never played again. I just hope these guys can let me play a few more songs. Thanks.”

 

The crowd started begging for an encore. Danny nodded, putting the microphone down and getting ready to play.

 

And, as she walked past Ell, Danny mumbled a quick almost imperceptible ‘sorry’.

 

*

“WHOOOOO!”

 

Laura cheered, Carmilla carrying her on her shoulders as they walked out of the building. Danny walked ahead of them with the check. “SLAYER SOCIETY RULES!”

 

Carmilla only smiled. “Yes we do.”

 

“I still cannot believe I have five thousand dollars,” Ell said, looking at Danny’s back. Laura noticed.

 

“Carm,” Laura said, “Let me down?”

 

Carmilla huffed, but lowered her back so Laura could hop off.

 

“Ell,” Laura walked next to her, “About Danny’s speech--”

 

“Danny was talking about me,” Ell said. Laura blinked.

 

“Wait. Wait you noticed?”

 

“Yeah.  I mean she wasn’t exactly being _subtle_.”

 

Laura squealed, throwing her arms around Ell.  “Best night _ever_!  I’m back with Carm, we’re all five thousand bucks richer, and you’re getting back together with Danny!”

 

Ell threw Laura a wan smile.

 

“Laura… I don’t think that means Danny and I are back together.”

 

Laura pouted.  “What do you mean?  Of course you are!”

 

Ell shrugged. “I mean...it was an apology. But that doesn’t mean everything between us didn’t happen. And...you know, I’ve seen Danny at her worst. _I’m_ not even sure I want to go through that again.”

 

“But--but you guys are perfect for each other! You are the cutest couple ever or, you know, second cutest, but the point is you should at least _try_. Come on,” Laura pouted, “For your best friend?”

 

“I am _not_ letting my best friend tell me who to date, Laura--”

 

“Listen to me, then. You and Red are good together.”

 

“--And I _especially_ will not listen to my ex girlfriend.” Ell walked ahead of them. She wasn’t really into having this conversation again. Except...walking up farther meant passing Danny.

 

She tried to avoid eye contact. And in fact managed it. Until Danny spoke.

 

“...A new drum kit,” Danny said.

 

“What?”

 

“If I didn’t have to worry about my mom barely making ends meet, I’d spend the money on a drum kit. So I could practice at home.”

 

It was starting to get dark out, and Ell couldn’t help but be reminded of the night she walked with Danny to her house. Except now her steps seemed a little heavier.

 

“Oh. Awesome.”

 

“You ever figure out what you were going to spend your money on?” Danny asked, actually giving Ell the faintest hint of a smile.

 

Ell was wrong.

 

So, so wrong.

 

She was still totally and utterly head over heels for Danny Lawrence and just the fact that she was speaking to her politely was enough to make her feel dizzy.

 

Who was Ell kidding, honestly?

 

Which meant she needed to make the next move. The ball was in her court.

 

“...I do know,” Ell answered, “I don’t want to say yet. But I know _exactly_ what I want to spend the money on.”  

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

 

 

“Jesus fucking Christ this shit weighs an actual _ton_.”

 

Ell huffed, even as she struggled to hold up her end of the box.  “Carmilla Karnstein you promised to help.  Your whining is _not_ helping matters.”

 

“I promised to help.  I didn’t promise to be silent.” came the retort, but it was strangled.  “ _Please_ tell me Big Red’s house is close by.”

 

Ell tried to glare at Carmilla around the box, but the box was too big.  “Of course it is Carmilla.  We parked the car literally _just down the street_.  It’s right _there!_ ”

 

Carmilla grunted for the umpteenth time.  “Why the fuck did I agree to help you with this…”

 

“Uh because I helped you with Laura?  That ring any bells?”

 

There was another grunt and a slight shifting, “hold on a sec Cinnabon let me just… fucking _hell_.  Okay.  Okay.  Got it.”  The weight of the box shifted a little more towards Carmilla’s end and Ell could have sighed in happiness.  “And yeah Cinnabon.  You did help.  But I don’t remember you helping me being the cause of _actual pain_.  If I have back injuries from this I swear…”

 

“Yes well I’m sure Laura will happily nurse you till you’re better.  Now shut up and keep walking before my fingers fall off!”

 

Carmilla stopped talking, focusing on carrying the box.

 

“Okay. Carmilla we need to walk up the stairs on Danny’s porch. I’ll be walking backwards so you need to tell me when to _UGH!”_

 

Ell tripped on the stair, falling on her back and keeping the box from crushing her with shaky arms. “Carmilla!”

 

“Sorry! Maybe you should have _stopped_ and filled me in on the plan, huh?”

 

“GET THE BOX OFF OF ME.”

 

With a lot of awkward maneuvering, they finally managed to get it in front of Danny’s front door.

“So...what now?”

 

“I attach this,” it was a piece of paper. Ell had written out _I’m Sorry. Here’s the drum kit you wanted. I stand by what I said--you think about others so much. Let me think about you for once. --Ell_

 

“Oh, that letter is so sweet. I’m going to throw up. Where is Red?”

 

“Away.”

 

“You mean I dragged that all the way here and she isn’t even home?”

 

“I don’t want to pressure Danny to do anything,” Ell answered, “If she wants to talk to me, she can find me. _Plus,_ I am not letting you anywhere near us when and if we have that conversation.”

 

Carmilla stretched, cracking her back. “Well, this is way worse than what I made you do. Least you got a show and a scene straight out of a Nicholas Sparks novel.”

 

“...You read Nicholas Sparks?”

 

“Laura loves them,” Carmilla answered (which as far as Ell knew was a _total lie,_ but she would push the issue later).

 

“Well,” Ell took a shaky breath, “We can leave now, I guess. See you--”

 

“Whoa,” Carmilla answered, “You’re coming with me.”

 

“Why…?”

 

“I believe,” Carmilla said, shrugging, “Laura insists that she wants to reinstitute ‘Buffy Sleepover Fridays.’ I unfortunately am all too familiar with them from dating _you._ And Laura has given me instructions to drag you kicking and screaming if I have to.”

 

“She did?” Ell said, smiling, “Aw. You know you’re free to come too.”

 

She started walking with Carmilla, nudging her shoulder.

 

“I live there now, Cinnabon, I’ll have to be there.”

 

“How long are you living with Mr. Hollis?”

 

“Dunno,” Carmilla looked at the ground, “I’ve got summer school for the work I missed, then...you know. College. Away.”

 

“You and Laura will be fine,” Ell answered immediately, “I have never seen a stronger couple than you two.”

 

Carmilla smiled, and answered, “You are a decent friend, Sweet Roll. Come on.”

 

Ell smiled. Whether Danny took Ell’s gift or not, at least she had that.

 

*

 

When the school year ended and Ell _still_ hadn’t gotten a reply from Danny, being a decent friend didn’t do much for Ell’s morale anymore.

 

Laura tried to make up for Ell’s moping by constantly insisting that they have movie marathons or go to the mall to people watch or go get ice cream.  Although Ell bet that was at least partially because Carmilla wasn’t around as much with summer school.  But even when Carmilla was around, the two of them made an effort to include Ell.  And she appreciated it.  But there was only so much third-wheeling she could take.

 

Eventually, it was clear that Laura was letting it intrude on her time with her girlfriend so Ell shooed them away with instructions not to bother her until after they’d had a real date night to themselves.

 

So Ell was left alone.  

 

In all honesty, she hadn’t known _what_ to expect from Danny.  She wasn’t really naive enough to expect that Danny would show up at her door to declare her love like something out of the romantic comedies she watched with Laura.  But she had hoped for… well at least a response.

 

Ell sighed to herself.  She was alone, on a Friday night, in the middle of summer.  Because her friends were out on a date.  And she had messed up with the girl of her dreams.  Ell surveyed her fridge.

 

Maybe tonight was a good night to break out the vat of ice cream.

 

And...and a pizza. It had been awhile since Ell ate an entire pizza. With garlic knots. Because it wasn’t like she had anyone to kiss anyway.

 

Ell called up Domino’s, placed her order, and then went into the laundry room. Danny had a sweater in there that she had never picked up, and Ell was depressed and had no shame. She slipped it on, sitting on the couch.

 

She was about to start her second episode of Doctor Who when the doorbell rang.

 

“Coming!” Ell shouted, getting up and jogging lightly toward the door. She opened it. “Hey, so the amount is--”

 

She froze.

 

Danny froze.

 

How did Danny even make a pizza delivery uniform ridiculously attractive?

 

“Danny, you--I mean--”

 

_I’m a courier for a delivery service…_

 

“--The delivery service was _Domino’s?”_

 

Danny tensed.  “Do you have something against Domino’s?”

 

Ell winced and hurried to correct herself, “no, no, no!  Of course not!  I ordered it, didn’t I?”

 

The muscle in Danny’s jaw jumped.

 

“That’ll be 14.75.”

 

Ell scrambled for the money.  “Right.  Yes.  Of course!”

 

“Is that my sweater?” Danny asked as Ell fumbled.

 

“Yes--well--you know--got to keep warm--”

 

“In the middle of summer?”

“I’m a cold person, I have poor circulation!” Ell squeaked. She found her wallet. Danny still maintained her cold expression. Ell was about to hand her the money--then stopped.

 

She was going to take it and leave. Just _leave._

 

“Wait,” Ell pulled back.

 

“Uh, I kind of need that--”

 

“Look,” Ell said, “You sent me a lot of mixed signals the last time we saw each other. You said a bunch of mean stuff to me; then you made a very thinly veiled apology. Then we had a decent conversation and--and you know what? Maybe I don’t like myself that much. But I like myself enough to think that I deserve _some sort_ of response for giving you a gift--and don’t you dare pretend you didn’t get it or you didn’t know it was from me. I deserve that much. I’m not asking for anything else. But--but for you to just _ignore me_ like _that--_ ”

 

Ell took a breath. “...All I want is a thank you or, hell, even an I hate you. But I deserve _a response.”_

 

Danny blinked, a blush rising in her cheeks.  She shifted the pizza box into one hand as the other went up to rub the back of her neck.

 

“Ah… yeah.  About that… I…”

 

Ell shifted, “yes?”

 

Danny blushed harder, her eyes flitting away.  She mumbled under her breath, “this conversation would be a lot easier to have if you weren’t in my sweater…”

 

Ell blushed as well. “Oh. Yeah. Um...you aren’t going to leave if I go to take it off, right? I mean, I could take it off here, but...yeah. Probably a bad idea.”

 

“No!” Danny’s response was immediate and gave Ell some pause, “no I didn’t mean it like that.  I...don’t take it off.”

 

“Um, sure. Keeping it on then. Now,” Ell tried to regain her composure, “About that response…”

 

Danny sighed, and finally answered: “I was...embarrassed, okay? I felt like a complete asshole.”

 

Ell blinked.  “You… you felt like an asshole.  So you decided to be _more_ of an asshole and not even respond?”

 

Danny shuffled from side to side, refusing to look Ell in the eye.  “It seemed like a good idea at the time?”

 

“ _The time?_ Danny, I obviously _forgave you_ if I spent a thousand dollars on drums.”

 

Danny looked vaguely horrified.  “Those drums were a _thousand dollars_?!”

 

“YES! I think I’ve made it pretty obvious I _really really_ like you, okay? And oh,” Ell winced, “I hadn’t really meant to tell you how much they were…”

 

“You know, this doesn’t really make me feel like less of an asshole…”

 

“It shouldn’t,” Ell snapped, “I know what I did was bad and I didn’t trust you and everything and--and I have no right to turn it around and be mad at you but--but I mean this is the first time I think I’ve ever felt like I deserve to be _treated better._ So I guess…” Ell’s shoulders slumped, “I’m sorry for...I do not even know what I am apologizing for anymore. There’s a lot of things.”

 

Danny’s shoulders slumped a little.  “Yeah.  You did.”

 

“And further--wait, what?”  Ell looked at Danny wide eyed.

 

Danny fiddled with the hem of her shirt.

 

“You should know Ell,” Danny mumbled, “that I’m a really _proud_ person.  Not quite as bad as Carmilla.  But still.”

 

“What does that have to do with anything?”

 

Danny gave a small huff.  “So you wounded my pride and I was really shitty to you afterwards for it.  Even after you stopped deserving it.”

 

Ell’s mouth opened slightly. “Um...well...I guess...I am a really super insecure person. I guess we both have our faults.”

 

“Mine were worse than yours. I accused you of cheating and getting Carmilla drunk to sleep with her...I never _really_ thought you would do that, by the way. Honestly. But I think that’s worse than not telling a girl about your ex girlfriend after two weeks. It’s not like we were engaged.”

 

Ell shook her head. “No, Danny. I can admit when I was wrong. I should have told you from the beginning. You know...first and foremost I wasn’t being a very good friend if I didn’t open up to you.”

 

“I know.  But like you weren’t really lying?  Just omitting.  I don’t know.  My head is just such a mess over this.  Rationally I know I should get over it.  I just...God...Ell, I swear, if I could get past it I _would.”_

 

They both stared at each other awkwardly for a moment. Ell remembered what Laura had said.

 

_You and Danny need to start with a blank slate…_

 

“My name is Eleanor Schraeder,” Ell blurted out. She kept speaking, not even paying attention to Danny now. “I’ve lived in Silas all my life. My parents travel for work and they’re gone all the time. They used to have my grandpa and grandma watch me but they died when I was really young so they asked Laura’s dad if they could drop me off at his house instead. He was more like a dad than my own, to be honest. I played with Laura sometimes, and I didn’t even think about how close we were until one day Laura took a ring out of a cereal box and asked me if I’d marry her. She got Perry and Laf to have a double wedding with us. I still have the plastic ring in a little jewelry box on my dresser.”

 

Ell couldn’t help pacing back and forth, gesturing with her hands.

 

“And...and wow, I was always _so_ insecure because Laura found it so easy to talk to people and make friends and I was the nerdy awkward girl who got along better with the teachers. And that’s not even getting into me thinking my parents didn’t even want to be around me.. ”

 

She kept speaking almost too fast to keep up. Every major event of her life was summarized in the span of five minutes.

 

“When...when I was sixteen I went to a Barnes and Noble and met Carmilla because she _had_ to complain about how stupid making paranormal romance a genre was to somebody. She recommended a book to me and slipped her number inside. And we dated for a year, but honestly, in the end I was way too insecure and she was way too independent for it to have really worked. I kind of regret it. She’s much better for Laura and I wish I had been the one to wait in line at Starbucks so Laura could meet her instead. You know why we broke up. And then I met _you._ Which is the most important thing of all.”

 

Ell took a moment to breathe. “So...so you know who I am now. See? That’s everything you could possibly want to know about me.”

 

Danny blinked at her for a moment.  And blinked again.  And again.

 

Ell fidgeted under her stare.  “Um...Danny?”

 

Danny shook her head a little bit.  “It’s… it’s a start.”  Her eyes came up to meet Ell’s.  “A fresh start.”

 

Ell smiled. “That’s good. Does that mean...you know, you’d be doing me a favor...I was going to eat an _entire pizza_ with garlic knots by myself.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

Her smile faltered. “Oh. I-I understand--”

 

Danny shook her head and smiled. “No, I _literally_ can’t. I need to finish work. But I can, uh...you know, stop by when I’m done.”

 

“I’ll put Mulan in?”

 

Danny flashed her a bright smile.  “It’s a big pizza.  We probably have time for Cinderella too.”

 

Ell silently handed Danny the money and watched her leave--it was weird seeing her go in a car and not on a skateboard.

 

She was flirting. Danny was totally flirting. Ell grinned. She liked Ell 2.0 a lot.

 

Ell was still grinning when she turned around to put the pizza down.  And then her smile dropped off of her face.

 

_Fudgsicles._  The house was a _complete_ mess from her self-induced sobfest.  She really needed to clean.

 

The next few minutes were a flurry of Ell running from one end of the house to the other, picking up stray soda cans and empty bags of chips as she went.  Should she clean the dishes?  Did she have time to clean the dishes? Ell thought very briefly about calling Laura for help but decided that she would most likely be interrupting something very private that, friends or not, would result in Carmilla ensuring Ell’s untimely death.

 

Ell glanced at the clock, eyes widening.  Oh God.  Danny was going to be back any minute now.  

 

Ell surveyed the house.  Relatively clean?  Danny had seen worse.  It was highly unlikely Danny would stop talking to her over the fact that there was a little dust on the mantle…

 

_Holy Hippogriff!_  Ell looked at her reflection in the hall mirror with horror in her eyes.  She was still wearing Danny’s sweater.  She was still wearing Danny’s sweater that she’d worn far too many times since Danny had broken up with her, but refused to wash because it still smelled faintly of her.  Danny could _not_ get close to her while she was still wearing it.

 

“Okay, this is coming _off,”_ Ell grunted, tugging the sweater over her head. She struggled a little as she slipped it off and heard a knock at the door.

 

“Danny!” Ell squeaked. In any normal situation a smart person would have pulled the shirt _back on,_ but unfortunately, Ell was not being very smart at the moment. With a final yank the shirt was off and Ell could see Danny looking through the window. At Ell. In a bra.

 

Danny’s face was practically red.

 

“...This is not how I wanted you to see me with my shirt off,” Ell blurted out, eyes widening before squeaking, “The door is unlocked.”  

 

Danny slipped inside, eyes looking everywhere but at Ell, face flushed almost as red as her hair.

 

“That… um… okay.  Do you have another shirt?”

 

Ell flushed too.  She hadn’t thought that far ahead.  “Um.  Not on me.  But I can get one from upstairs?”

 

Still not looking in her direction, Danny wordlessly pulled off her shirt and handed it to Ell, exposing the tank top she was wearing beneath it.

 

Ell fought the urge to breathe in Danny’s scent on the shirt before slipping it on.

 

“Thank you. So...pizza…?”

 

“I assume that would be what we’re eating,” Danny said, smiling.

 

“Great. Follow me?”

 

“Ell, I’ve been here quite a few times,” Danny said, following Ell, “I know how to get to the kitchen.”

 

Ell shushed her, walking forward and assuming Danny would follow.  Also _wow_.  She’d been wearing the other sweater for so long, she’d forgotten what it smelled like to have Danny’s full scent surrounding her.  Maybe… if this went well...she could look forward to being wrapped in Danny’s clothes more often.

 

“I put Mulan in,” Ell said, “And I cleaned a little. And put the pizza on a plate instead of the box. You know, so it feels slightly more fancy, I guess, not that you can do much with pizza and garlic knots, haha…”

 

“You know this is _me,_ right?” Danny asked, smiling softly at her before pulling out a chair to sit down, “Ells, you can relax a little.”

 

Ell paused, staring at Danny.

 

“...Something wrong?”

 

“You called me Ells,” she said.

 

Danny averted her gaze, shrugging. “Maybe I did.”

 

Ell let a small smile overtake her face.  Since Danny obviously didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, Ell wouldn’t either.  But… _but_.  She could feel the impact that it made, the way it made her heart just a little bit lighter.

 

“Right so...” she said, clapping her hands together, and pushing the food towards Danny, “dig in!”

 

“Awesome,” Danny took a bite, “I deliver these all the time but I barely ever actually eat them myself.”

 

Ell’s eyes widened at Danny’s casual confession, “but _how_?  They smell so good! I would be dying for a slice after having them in a car for ten minutes!”

 

“I’m an athlete. Can’t eat too much of it. When I do though…” Danny scarfed down her slice and reached for another, “I tend to go kind of crazy.”

 

“You have pizza sauce on your nose, Danny,” Ell said, swiping a finger across. Danny swallowed.

 

“...Thanks.”

 

“N-no problem.”  Ell averted her eyes as she concentrated on her pizza, moaning a little at the taste, “gosh it’s been so long since I last had pizza.  This is _delicious_.”

 

Danny raised an eyebrow at Ell, who smiled sheepishly. “I _swear_ I didn’t mean to be suggestive.”

 

“I didn’t think you were. This is _you_ we’re talking about.”

 

Ell let her legs lightly kick out from under her swaying back and forth.

 

“I mean… I _could_ be suggestive if I wanted to.  I just wasn’t trying that time,” she clarified.

 

Danny rolled her eyes good naturedly. “Sure you can.”

 

“I dated Carmilla! I have had plenty of time to learn how to be suggestive.”

 

Danny frowned slightly. “Do we need to talk about Carmilla now?”

 

“...Right. Sorry.” Danny flashed a small half smile.

 

“Naw, you’re good. That’s another thing you should know about me...kind of jealous, won’t lie.”

 

“I… may have been jealous too.”

 

Danny gave her a look of surprise.  “You?  Of who?”

 

Ell huffed.  “Who do you think?”

 

Danny’s brow furrowed.  “I have no idea.”

 

“Laura okay?  I was jealous of Laura!”

 

“...if this is your way of telling me that you want to get back together with Carmilla, you have really awful timing.”

 

“Oh for Remus’s sake.  Because of you!”

 

“But when did me and Laur-- _oh._ ”  Danny rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly.  “I kind of forgot about that.”

 

Ell huffed.  “Okay well I didn’t.”

 

“If it makes you feel any better, I _tried_ to like Laura, but I was literally incapable,” Danny answered. Ell raised an eyebrow.

 

“Really?”

 

“I mean, Laura is great, but it felt like being with a worse--well, maybe that’s a harsh word, but--you know, a worse version of you.”

 

Ell couldn’t help it.  She turned to gape at Danny, who stared back at her, blushing slightly, but resolute.

 

“Even when I was pissed off at you, Laura wasn’t the same as _you_.”  Danny shrugged, “and I knew I’d rather have you or nothing at all.”

 

“Danny, you understand then. Because that’s why I could have never gotten together with Carmilla that night.”

 

Danny continued to say nothing, before finally looking down at the table. “So! Garlic knots,” Danny opened the container, “These are the _best--”_

 

“Wait,” Ell said, “You’re about to eat the garlic knots?”

 

“Is that okay?”

 

Ell took a deep breath. She was Ell 2.0, she was new Ell, she could do this--Ell grabbed Danny’s wrist.

 

“...You got to surprise me last time, so it’s my turn,” Ell said, “And I have to do it before you eat garlic.”

 

And with more bravery than Ell ever had to use in her life, she leaned across the table and pressed her lips against Danny’s.

 

Danny was completely still for a moment and Ell panicked, about to pull away.  She took one last moment to savor how good Danny tasted--underneath the taste of pizza was something so undeniably _Danny_ \--before pulling back.

 

Except she was stuck.  Somewhere between the moment Ell had panicked and the moment she tried to pull away, Danny’s hand had come up to anchor Ell’s lips to her own.  The hand pressed insistently on Ell’s head, urging their lips closer together.

 

Ell sighed happily.  It had been far too long since she’d had the pleasure of kissing Danny.  It felt like all of her nerve endings were on fire, tingling with delight.  This was _right_.  

 

When Danny finally pulled away from their lip-lock with a slightly dazed expression, Ell felt a little smug.   _She_ had done that.  To Danny.

 

Danny’s face was still a little gobsmacked as she spoke up, “so uh _wow_.  I love garlic knots, but I’d be happy to give them up forever if that’s what I get in return.”

 

It was a completely unromantic sight. Danny still in her delivery uniform and tank top, Ell dressed in sweats and Danny’s Domino’s shirt; both of them wore no makeup, hair in disarray.

 

But Ell could not help but think she would not have wanted this to have happened any other way.

“...So,” Ell said, smiling, “Does this mean I can keep your shirt…?”

 

Danny raised an eyebrow and Ell defended, “it smells really good!”

 

Danny laughed.  “You can totally keep the shirt.  It looks cuter on you anyway,” Danny answered, grinning back, taking Ell’s hand. Ell leaned in again to kiss Danny before jolting back.

 

“Oh my God, _Laura!”_

 

“What about Laura?” Danny breathed, eyes half lidded and still leaning in.

 

“I need to tell her!”

 

Danny’s eyes slid open, incredulity painted across her face, “right _now_?”

 

“Yes now!  Right away!”

 

Danny rolled her eyes, but she was giving Ell a fond little grin.  “Do you really think that’s a good idea?  What if she’s in the middle of something?”

 

She let the _with Carmilla_ go unspoken.  

 

“Danny, I am not making the same mistake twice. Laura needs to know the _second_ we are back together. Which we are. So come on!”

 

Ell ran upstairs, flopping onto her bed and grabbing her flashlight. Danny joined Ell, making the bed bounce slightly.

 

Ell got up, walked toward the window, and started flashing:

 

LAURA

 

No answer.

 

LAURA I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE PICK UP YOUR FLASHLIGHT

 

Still nothing. Unsurprisingly. Ell smirked.

 

I GUESS YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHY DANNY IS IN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW

 

This time the response was almost immediate.

 

OH MY GODRIC GRYFFINDOR ARE YOU SAYING WHAT I THINK YOU ARE

 

YES

 

HOLY HUFFLEPUFF

 

I KNOW RIGHT

 

Danny snuck up behind Ell, wrapping her arms around her.

 

“What are you saying?” she whispered into Ell’s ear.

 

“Nothing.  Just that we’re back together.”

 

Ell could practically feel Danny’s smirk against her cheek.

 

“Who says we’re back together?”

 

Ell dropped her flashlight and turned to face Danny.  “ _What?!_ ”

 

Danny laughed lightly and leaned in to drop a quick kiss on Ell’s lips.

 

“Aren’t you going to ask me something?”

 

Oh for the love of--

 

“Danny will you be my girlfriend?”

 

“I thought you’d never ask.”

 

Danny grinned and leaned in for another kiss and Ell squealed a little, wrapping her arms around Danny’s neck.  

 

Danny pulled back after a moment.  “Uh… I think Laura’s trying to get a hold of you.”

 

Ell spun back to the window, just catching the tail end of Laura’s sentence.

 

\--ROMISED TO GIVE ME DETAILS.  ELL RESPOND RIGHT NOW

 

Ell rolled her eyes.

 

I DON’T KNOW LAURA I CAN TELL YOU TOMORROW I MEAN I AM SURE YOU AND CARM WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING RIGHT?

 

WHAT THE SLYTHERIN ELL? ELL WHO CARES ABOUT CARM TELL ME

 

“You know I learned morse code, right?”

 

Carmilla opened the window, shouting it across to Ell and Danny. “What the fuck guys?”

 

Ell and Danny looked over to see Laura and Carmilla engaged in an animated discussion which promptly ended when Carmilla stuck her tongue into Laura’s mouth.  After a moment, Laura pulled away, her flashlight immediately flickering.

 

UH SOMETHING CAME UP GOTTA GO GUYS.   TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT TOMORROW?

 

Ell rolled her eyes.

 

YOU KNOW WE CAN SEE YOU RIGHT?

 

A beat.  And then:

 

SHUT UP I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW

 

Ell dropped the flashlight, spinning around and kissing Danny again.

 

“What should we do now?” Ell asked, “Movie? Making out? What?”

 

Danny kept kissing Ell. “...Wait. I thought of something. We never had that duet.”

 

She pulled back, pulling Ell’s hands. “Grab your keyboard, and I’ll use my drum kit. We can go back to my house.”

 

Ell smiled, letting Danny lead her outside, before running back in to grab her keyboard. When she darted back outside, tucking it under her arm, Danny was waiting on the porch with her hand held out.

 

“Ready to go?”

 

Ell reached up, snagging Danny’s snapback, and plopping it down on her head, just like she had all those nights ago.  “Now I’m ready,” she said, readjusting it on her head.

 

Danny grinned.  “You should just wear all my clothes.  They look better on you.”

 

Ell smiled shyly, looking down at Danny’s hand. “So...does this mean we’re getting the band back together?”

 

“We are _totally_ getting the band back together,” Danny answered.

 

Ell took Danny’s hand, and they started the walk to Danny’s house--where they would play one of hopefully many, many more duets.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Updates will be Tuesgays and Thursgays around 7:30PM EST.
> 
> For more shenanigans, come visit the tumblr we made for this fic: marzotodusk.tumblr.com


End file.
